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  • Published: 28 Sep 2017
  • Updated: 8 Nov 2017
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Good things come to those who wait.
This too shall pass
No baby can ever replace another, every single baby is unique and precious, some are born and others aren't, any child that is born following a child that died isn't a replacement, they are just a longed for sibling and a gift to their family


12. Failed Adoption

September 2026

Fred’s POV

I open my eyes and hear Lana moving around. I sit up and stare around remembering that we’re in England…in the palace because the baby we’re adopting was the daughter of Duchess Kate’s best friend. Duchess Kate is one day going to be queen and she’s been raising our baby. Lana slips on a nice dress with a sapphire blue skirt and a white top with pieces of crystals embroidered in. She curls her hair and I smile as she puts on her makeup. She’s singing and I listen.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes.

When you’re fast asleep.

In dreams, you will lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come shining through

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

Dream that you wish will come true.”

“You sing beautifully.”

I get out of bed and walk over to her side. I bend down and give her a kiss.

“Why are you getting so dressed up?”

“Because, it’s a special occasion. We’re getting our daughter.”

“Yes, we are. I’m going to get dressed now.”

“Fred, what if she doesn’t like me?”

“I don’t know but who wouldn’t love you?”

“I can’t do this Fred. Asa’s been living a wonderful life in this castle and the little princes and princess love her as their own sister. What if we’re supposed to lose the rainbow before it rains?”

“Lana what does that mean?”

“What if we’re supposed to lose seven before getting one? What if Asa counts as that seventh? Or what if on our seventh try we succeed. Asa isn’t ours Fred. I want our child.”

“Lana, we’re in England and we’re leaving with Asa.”


I dress and when Lana’s ready we hear a knock on the door. It’s Duchess Kate and Prince William. Lana smiles and squeezes my hand as we walk to the nursery. Duchess Kate opens the door and leads us to the beautifully decorated cradle. She leans over and presents us with a little girl with brown eyes, brown hair and the baby is wearing a white dress with layers and layers of tulle and silk. She puts the bundle of joy in Lana’s arms and immediately Asa begins screaming. Lana gives Asa back and turns to me.

“She doesn’t like me.”

“Mrs. Diblasio you have to let her get used to you.”

“All due respect Duchess but I don’t think she’ll ever like me.”

“Hold her again. Maybe feed her a bottle. William.”

William presents Lana with a bottle and Kate puts Asa back in Lana’s arms. At first Asa refuses to nurse but soon starts drinking from her silver bottle. Lana turns to me and says.

“This doesn’t feel right. Kate, how did you feel when you had George?”

“I knew instantly what his life was going to be like. I could envision my child’s life. When I first held Asa after her parents died her future raised through my mind.”

“Asa Marie Diblasio doesn’t fit. She’s too French for two Spanish parents. Fred, we can’t. I can’t.”

Asa begins to cry and Lana puts her in my arms. I hold her awkwardly and smile. I know instantly what Lana was talking about.

“Lana you’re right it doesn’t feel right. I can’t imagine her life with us.”

“I apologize Kate but it won’t happen.”

“I think the children will like the idea. We’ve already been thinking about her as our own but then you called and so we thought.”

“I don’t think this is right. Fred and I weren’t meant to be parents.”

“Right before you want to give up is when miracles happen.”

“Everyone’s saying that. Any more advice?”
“Patience is key. The longer you must wait, the more pain you endure, the greater the reward is. He gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.”

“Thank you your highness, Fred and I are just going to go home. Raise Asa well, she’s the perfect princess.”

“Yes, she is. Thank you Lana.”

“No thank you.”

I take my wife’s hand and we walk back to our chambers. We begin to pack our bags and then leave for the airport. The six royals all wave to us as the limo leaves the palace behind. We climb aboard the plane and take our seats. Once we’re up in the air, I start talking.

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to tour.”

“How can I tour when I’m never going to be a mother. That’s all I want.”
“We could try to conceive again.”

“And risk losing a seventh child…no thank you.”

Lana turns to look out the window and away from me but I manage to glimpse tears streaming down her face. I try to hug her but she shrinks away at my touch. I want a baby just as much as she does but I know she hurts more than me. I can never imagine the pain she felt with her four miscarriages.

After the plane lands, Lana and I silently get off. We climb into our car and the driver drives us home. All the way home my wife just stares out the window. I want to hold her, I want to kiss her but I know she’ll just shrink away.


Nothing she doesn’t respond to me at all. Doesn’t even flinch.


She repositions herself as she continues to stare out the window.


She places a hand over her abdomen and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and then turns to me.


“I love you.”

“I love you too. But love doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have a baby.”

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