Something Worth Living For

Inspired by 'Another Last Goodbye', a screenplay by Prodigy.


5. Four

Blair doesn’t stop driving until a petrol station looms in the distance, a small café next to it. The car winds through the trees bordering the backroad until she pulls into a gravel parking lot.


She switches off the engine and glances over at Regan, fast asleep in the passenger’s seat. She wonders how the blonde must be feeling. Does she have anyone else to say goodbye to? Does she want to go back to the hospital? Does she regret allowing Blair to come along?


Blair pushes those thoughts to the back of her mind.


Exiting the car, she goes into the petrol station, paying the cashier for fuel and a chocolate bar. Looking outside, she notices a neon ‘open’ sign blinking in the café window.


When Blair returns to the car, she has a plastic container of pasta in one hand, and a fork in the other. She nudges Regan awake and offers the container to her. “I thought you might be hungry.”


Regan smiles. “Thank you.”


Blair nods, then pulls the car back out onto the road, allowing Regan to eat. She stares straight ahead as she navigates through the roads.


“Do you believe in God?” Regan asks suddenly, placing her empty plastic container on the dash.


Blair frowns. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t really think about it that much. Why?”


“No reason. I was just thinking about something one of the nurses said when I asked her to help me with… this. She said that taking any life, even your own, is a sin. But I don’t get why people would rather live in pain rather than not go to heaven.”


“I don’t really know much about religion, but my parents were really…” Blair’s voice trails off as she turns off the main road. “Whatever. I think it’s something like your time on earth is a test. To kill yourself is to fail.”


Regan looks at Blair, her eyes narrowed in concern. “Does that worry you?”


Blair shakes her head, her hair falling in a dark curtain around her face. She tries to flick it back behind her shoulders. “No. I’m going to do what’s best for me because I don’t give a shit what some high power wants, if there even is one.”


Regan’s voice is so soft that Blair barely hears her reply. “Are you sure this is what’s best for you?”


Eyes on the road, Blair scowls. Her hands tighten on the steering wheel, and her tone is blunt. “I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to try and talk me out of this.”


“I don’t think we did, actually.”


“Then let’s do it now. You have your reasons, and I have mine.”


There’s silence for a long moment. Blair reaches over to turn on the radio, but Regan cuts her off. “Do you want to talk about it?”


The expression on Blair’s face seems to answer, so Regan continues to talk. “I mean, if you’re going to go through with this… If these are going to be your last few hours on earth, I’m the last person you’re going to talk to. It wouldn’t hurt anyone to get it off your chest.”


Blair looks over sharply. “I’ve gone eighteen years without spilling my feelings, I might as well go the rest of the way.”


“I guess you have a point.” Regan sighs dramatically, looking out of the window. “I think my logic is healthier, though.”


“Healthier, says the dying girl.” Blair laughs dryly.


Regan feels tears stinging in her eyes, and a lump growing in her throat. “At least I’m not choosing to die.”


Her words are followed by a long, tense silence. Blair looks out at the road. Regan looks out the passenger side window. There is a steady thump of the tires over cracks in the deteriorating back road.


Eventually, Blair speaks. “I’m sorry.”


Regan nods slowly. “Me too. That was too far.”


“You’re right, though.”


“Like you said, we both have our reasons. I can’t judge you because I’m committing the same sin.” She pauses. “Let’s talk about something else.”


“Like what?”


Regan’s eyelids begin to drop, but she fights to stay awake. “What did you want to be when you were little?”


“I don’t remember.”


Regan laughs. “Oh, come on. Everyone remembers. You didn’t want to be a princess, or a doctor, or… I don’t know, a firefighter? Nothing?”


“I guess I wanted to be a spy. Like a code-cracker.”


“A spy, huh? I can see it. You dressed all in black, hopping from rooftop to rooftop.”


Blair smiles slightly. “My dreams got more practical later on, don’t worry. In primary school, I really wanted to be a police officer.”


“I can see that too. You’d look badass with a gun.”


Blair’s lips curl into her first real smile. Regan looks proud, and grins in response. After a beat, she looks back out the window. “In about thirty miles or so, you’ll see a sign for a nature trail. It’s named after a flower, but I can’t remember which one. I haven’t been there for a few years.”


Blair nods. “And what then? Is the trail wide enough to drive on?”


“No, we’ll have to walk for a bit.”


“Are you sure you’re up for that?”


Regan suddenly looks small in the wide front seat. She shifts, digging in her pocket before holding up a small bottle. “I nicked some pain meds.”


Blair offers her a bottle of water and Regan shakes two of the pills into her hand. She trembles as she raises them to her lips, then takes a large gulp of water.


“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Blair offers. “I’ll wake you when we get there.”


Regan smiles. “You don’t need to tell me twice. Thanks for driving.”


Blair simply nods as Regan settles against the window. She closes her eyes, then the car returns to silence.


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