I have a past

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  • Published: 22 Sep 2017
  • Updated: 22 Sep 2017
  • Status: Complete
Warning may have triggers please read with caution.
This is a poem I wrote when I was 16 and have only stumbled across it recently. It documents struggle and hope for better. I thought it might be nice to share and to show that everyone struggles even the strongest of people have a past.

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1. I have a past

I have a past 

I have secrets

Some have been reviled

But...

There is still things that I can to myself for reasons that may only make sense to me

These secrets eat away at me

Every hour of the day

I have PTS from things that I have never dealt with

Yes I have cut

A lot 

Some have been seen by people 

But some have been hidden well

I know that when I go out people see what is on my arms

And I know what they are thinking 

Some understand 

Some just don't get it

And you can tell who's who by looking into their eyes

For a long time I have tried to hide them so that people wouldn't have to see it

But I realised that I don't have to hide it

Because it is a part of me

It will be a part of me for the rest of my life

To me this is how I tell my story 

Of pain

Of fear

Of hatred 

Of sadness 

These are my battle scars 

The battle that I fought with myself 

The inner parts of me

I don't regret them

I don't regret doing it

Because without them I may not be here right now

This to me was something I could control that meant staying alive

So to you they may look like ugly scars

To me are the things that say I'm not perfect and say that I have been through some rough patches in my life

I am strong 

Do you know why?

Because I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon

Because I have realised that I am here for a reason 

I don't know what that reason exactly is yet

But I'm going to find out

And no one is ever going to try and stop me from meeting my potential ever again 

 
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