My Story

This is a memoir about my life


5. Chapter 5

The summer of 2015 was worse than than any other, but I didn’t know it at that point. I was just completely infatuated with a boy who I had no business being around. I thought he was so perfect. He didn’t want me, but I didn’t care. I’d do anything to be around him. I was way too desperate, and I just wanted to fit in with all of these older boys.

I was only 14, and I was completely infatuated with Dylan Drew Lockhart. He was 18, tall, had the emo hair, liked the same music, and he was everything in my eyes. He knew that. He knew how obsessed with him I was, yet he’d still lead me to believe that he felt the same way. This unhealthy friendship was going to lead to heartbreaking moments.

Dylan had a girlfriend, but he swore that it was an open relationship. I thought that what he said had meant that I could screw around with him, and his girlfriend wouldn’t care. I was shamelessly flirting with him, and he was doing it back. Fortunately, he didn’t want to go to jail. That being said, he had no problem almost cheating on his girlfriend. He told her about it and I got hell for it. I had no business being flirtatious with him, but I didn’t care. I really didn’t care about anything anymore.

Israel Tucker was Dylan’s girlfriend, and she was terrifying. She threatened me, but I still didn’t care. I didn’t care that she wanted my blood. I didn’t care that I was probably going to be beat up if we crossed paths. I didn’t care because I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me. Now that I’m older, I know better. He just wanted a distraction, and I was like putty in his hands.

Dylan was bad, and I knew that. He smoked pot, drank, smoked cigarettes, and he wasn’t a virgin either. Somehow, this all drew me in. When he asked if I wanted to go to his party, of course I said yes. However, Dylan wasn’t even there. In fact, he was working that night and the next day.

Mitchell, Corey, and Larry were all there, and I didn’t feel safe at all. I didn’t care though. I just wanted to party and prove to them that I wasn’t a little kid. I was a little kid, though. I was so naive and had no idea that I wasn’t going to be home that night. I had drank way too much, and I ended up passing out down by the river, but nobody decided to wake me up or take me home. That should have been a red flag, but I was too stupid to care.

Once I got home, I called Dylan crying. He agreed to meet me back at that stupid river and talk about things. Those “things” we talked about made no sense to me. He not only lied to me, but he took advantage of me. Oddly enough, I didn’t care. While we started talking about music, I stopped and kissed him. He didn’t stop me, so we kissed for quite a while. I felt so dirty, kissing another woman’s boyfriend. I also didn’t care.

Eventually, Dylan cut me off because we obviously weren’t going to be anything more than just friends. It was sad, but I knew it was for the best. That summer was one I will never forget.

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