The Jolly Boys

Shirley Stephenson is a bored housewife who never stops day in day out, its the same humdrum existence. Bob her husband is a lazy good for nothing. who lost his leg in an industrial accident and is claiming benefit fraudulently. he keeps her short and moans because she goes to the bingo. Shirley finds the courage to file for a divorce and free herself. her life is suddenly transformed after she finds all of the compensation that Bob has been hiding from her. she orders a taxi she takes £30.000 and takes a box with some things that her gran had left her.


6. 6

Brian ordered the drinks then Molly poured them out expertly. She placed them into a tray and then took payment. Brian got his change and then walked back to the table as Trevor asked the first question. Each answer was a number and then all the number were added together.

“How old was Charles Darwin when he died.

Moaty and the rest took a big swig of beer before putting down what they thought.

The first period of extra time had brought no goals and the second half got underway.

Juventus had had two opportunities to score saved.

 “Your second question we talked about the Beatles earlier how many songs did they all write? Bob smiled knowing that he knew the answer.

“Your third and final question tonight; how high is Table Mountain in feet. “You have two minutes to get all your answers in or they will not be counted. Sorry but this stops cheating. You are playing for £58.00 pounds.’

The lads were all trying to work out how High Table Mountain was and Moaty said that it was not as high as Scafel Pike in the Lake District.’

I think it may be higher mind said little legs.’

Alright you go higher as long as we have a good spread.

Bob passed his answer to Moaty who told the others to hurry up.

Once he had got their answers he added his own then handed them in.’

“Anymore answers please said Trevor, fifteen seconds. Many were making their way to where the quiz master was sitting and Trevor waited until they all had brought them.

“Okay the jackpot is now closed. Trevor began checking each answer to the one he had written down on a piece of paper. Then the ones closest were then weeded out until he found a winner.

“We had some really close answers to the Jackpot but your winner with three thousand nine hundred and six is your winner and that is “Bob the Banker.”

“Get in shouted Bob.’

“Not bad said little legs that’s another £78 pounds in the pot.’

Juventus finished the game and now it was going to penalties. Drop gob waited with baited breath as the first penalty was taken by the second goal scorer Giuseppe Galderisi.

“Goal, shouted Rob, that’s 1-0 to Juventus.

Walter Junghan’s the German goal keeper picked the ball out of the net.

Paul Breitner stepped up to take his penalty, he was very cool taking just a short run up he scored past the Juventus keeper Luciano Bodini making the score line 1-1

Next up was Paulo Rossi he wasted no time in slotting the ball in the top right- hand corner. The Italian side were in front again and the crowd of over 70,000 went wild. It was now 2-1 and the pressure was mounting.

Wolfgang Dremmler was up next, he looked nervous as he tried to place the ball on the spot. He waited for the whistle and then ran up and kicked the ball it rose higher and higher and over the bar.

“They’ve mm missed said Rob getting himself excited.’

Marco Tardelli could put the Italian team in front and he put the ball on the spot and then waited. There was a hushed silence from the crowd as they waited in anticipation.

The tension on Robs face was all too apparent as the whistle went and Tardelli ran up. He calmly slotted the ball home and it was now 3-1 to the Italian’s

It’s, its in said Rob.’

Wilhelm Reisinger slotted home his penalty but the Juventus side were still in front by one goal 3-2.

Dino Zoff made it 4-2 they needed only one goal to win the UEFA Cup.

Kurt Niedermayer calmly took the next and scored for the Germans 4-3

Sergio Brio was up for the Italians it would make him a legend if he were to score. The crowd fell silent as he placed the ball and then looked at the spot he was going to try and put the ball. He breathed deeply as the ref blew the whistle and he ran up and hoofed the ball Walter Junghan’s was across the goalmouth like a leaping leopard and palmed the ball out. The German fans were jumping up and down waving flags in the air. They were ecstatic.

“SS- Shit he’s save it.’ Now it was 4-3 and the Germans could now draw level.

Georg Schwarzenbeck took his time; Luciano Bodini had a big job to do, if he saved this it would mean immortality. The whistle blew and Rob watched as the ball sailed into the Italian net they were now level 4-4. Rob’s hopes were now fading and the money he thought he was going to win with it. Franco Causio had to score for Juventus. Rob couldn’t watch, he turned his back as the Italian team stood shoulder to shoulder waiting, hoping that their player would score. Georg to a long run up and booted the ball and it looked for tense and purposes as if it was going in the left bottom corner but again the cat like reflexes of Walter Junghan’s kept the ball from going in the net.

Now the pressure was on Peter Gruber if he scored it would be all over.

He took a short run stopped then just rolled the ball into the net sending Luciano Bodini the wrong way. The German team ran across to congratulate Gruber who had won them the UEFA Cup.

The Italians fell to the ground exhausted. Some were crying, they had come so close to winning.

 “BB-Bloody German’s always seem to win on penalties.’  

 “Look on the bright side Drop gob, you’ve won £200 pounds plus you’re stake.’

“Aye bb-but it could have bb-been thousands.’

“Come on the taxi’s oot side waitin’ said little legs as he went to the door and looked out.

Bob got in the front and the others squashed into the back. Jimmy Marshbanks knew where they all lived and dropped them off one by one Bob was out first as the rest of the team lived in Howdon. He Gave jimmy a fiver then said he’d see the lads next week.

Bob always felt hungry after a few beers and he let himself into his house on St Oswald’s Road.

Shirley was sitting watching “Dressed to kill” with her daughter Margaret. It was a pirate copy of a video she had loaned from Joyce Marti.

“Is there owt to eat I’m bloody starvin’ I only had a few chips and that for me tea.’

“Shut will yer Bob we’re trying watch the film and yer bloody spoiling it?’

“Make yersel a sandwich or Sommuck.’

Bob proceeded to bang the cupboards about as he took down a plate then went into the cutlery draw for a knife. Then the fridge door banged as Bob took out a big block of cheese and some ham and a tomato. He then went back in again and found the butter again slamming the fridge door.’

“You’ll bang that fridge door off its bloody hinges in a minute, be quiet.’

Bob was annoyed at being told to shut up and disregarded his wife’s comments. He took out eight slices of bread laid some butter thickly on each slice then placed boiled ham meant for Jimmy for his bait on the bread. He cut four thick slices of cheese and then used the gully knife to cut the tomatoes. Bob squashed the bread down with the palm of his hand after lathering them with Branston pickle then put the kettle on to make a pot of tea.

“Yer want a cup of tea or what shouted Bob.’

No just be quiet this is getting good.’

“What the hell are you watchin’ any road.’

Margaret tried to quickly tell her father the plot. It’s about a mysterious blonde woman who kills a psychiatrist’s patient then goes after the woman who witnessed it happen.’

“Looks like a load of shite to me.’

“Well if yer diven’t want to watch it Bob gan in the kitchen oot the road, yer spoiling it for me and the bairn.’

“Diven’t tell me what to do, this is my hoose, I pay the rent.’

“Please your bloody self then, but be quiet.’

“I’ll say what I like in my own hoose an aal.’

“Every bloody time you gan oot there’s always bother when you come back. You get eight or nine pints doon your neck and you come in here shoutin’ the odds.’ Just go to bed man will yer and give it a rest.

“No, a bloody won’t gan to bed I’m ganna eat me supper because you didn’t give me much for me tea.’

“Go on then eat yer bloody supper and leave us alone.’ What’s happened Margaret I’ve missed it now wi your bloody fatha.’

The sound of tea being stirred could be heard from the kitchen then Bob walked in with a pile of sandwiches and sat in his arm chair. Bob always chewed noisily when he’d had a drink the bread had not been cut in half and Bob picked up the two slices put together and took a huge bite from it.

Shirley looked over then said. “You’re a greedy pig, look at how many sandwiches he’s got Margaret.’

No wonder your fat you must have half a pound of cheese in them.’

“Aye and some ham an aal.’

“Don’t tell me you’ve eaten the ham that was for wor Jimmy’s bait on Monday.’

“How was I to know it was for Jimmy’s bait gan oot and buy some more a give yer plenty of money to buy grub wi.’

“Never any grub in here wi you the way you eat.’

“yer should have given me a bigger dinner tonight then shouldn’t you.’

“You’ll never lose weight you won’t; you’re a fat slob, look at that belly Margaret you’d think that he was expecting triplets.’

 Jimmy walked in from coming back from his mate John Abdullah’s house.

“How Da, are yer alreet.’

“No,’ yer bloody mother’s going off on one cos’ a made a few sandwiches.’

“Giz one then I’m starvin.’

“I wish you two would shut up, Margaret rewind that tape will yer I’ve missed the bugger since yer fatha came in. Margaret tutted then picked up the remote and rewound the tape to where she thought her mother had missed.

Jimmy had drunk six cans of Carling Black Label lager at John Abdullah’s house, His father gave him a sandwich and he began to eat it.

“Jimmy, you could have got a plate son, the bloody crumbs are goin’ to gan aal over the place.’

“Howay mother watch the film, I’m not rewinding it again.’

“Alreet keep your bloody hair on.’

“Have yer had a good neet then Da.’

“Aye we won the quiz and the jackpot.’ £78 pound for the Christmas pay oot. Bob took the money from his pocket and wafted it into the air.’ What about you have you been anywhere son.’

“Just down to John Abdullah’s, there was a few of us like playing three card brag.’ Jimmy Barren, Sharky, and John Bine were there an aal.’

“Did you win owt then?’

“Aye I won a few quid, enough to get me out the morrow.’

Whey I’m goin’ to the ex-servicemen’s club the morrow, its good money in there on the bingo and there’s a good turn on an aal.’

“Are you taking me mother?’

“Aye I suppose so. Are you going to call in like?

“Maybe’s later on; we are aal gan doon to Tynemouth, we meet up with Tony and John Asiamah, and Snapper.’

Whey watch what you are doing down there cos’ there’s always trouble on a weekend.’

“I can handle myself da, plus there’s always a big squad of us.’

“Alreet I’m just sayin.’

Bob had finished his sandwiches and was now slurping his tea as Jimmy went into the kitchen to make himself one.’

“Cup of tea mam?’

“Aye gan on then son.’

“You said that you didn’t want one when I asked you.’

“That was then I’m thirsty now, must have been all of that shoutin’ and bawling.’

“You should just keep yer mouth shut, then shouldn’t you?’

“Diven’t start Bob.’

“Start what; it was you who started as soon as I walked in.’

Jimmy walked in with his mother’s tea and handed it to her.’

“Thanks son.’

“Right I’m off to play a computer game in my room said Jimmy carrying his tea.

“I know what you’ll be watchin’ said Margaret.’

“What you on about?’

“Bloody porn sites are what I’m on about. I can hear through the wall you know. My bedroom is right next to yours.’

“You just keep your big mouth shut.’

“You’re not going to make me said Margaret as Jimmy went to his room.’

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