The Jolly Boys

Shirley Stephenson is a bored housewife who never stops day in day out, its the same humdrum existence. Bob her husband is a lazy good for nothing. who lost his leg in an industrial accident and is claiming benefit fraudulently. he keeps her short and moans because she goes to the bingo. Shirley finds the courage to file for a divorce and free herself. her life is suddenly transformed after she finds all of the compensation that Bob has been hiding from her. she orders a taxi she takes £30.000 and takes a box with some things that her gran had left her.


20. 20

"Shit said Mick suddenly. stop the car.'

"What for asked Bob, were going home.'

"I've left the meat under the table in the pub.' look let me out and I’ll walk back. ‘It’s not that far.'

The driver of the taxi pulled over to let Mick out and he scrambled out then told the lads he'd see them next week.'

The cab drove off and Mick walked back to the Pub which was a good mile.

"It was dark now and the streets quiet, again he thought about Molly and how he was going to make love to her tomorrow night. He could feel himself getting aroused the more he thought of her naked and lying there on his bed.

He quickened his step as he neared the pub. it was eleven forty when he got there and the doors were locked.

He banged on the door until someone came it was Peter Bowen the landlord who opened the door.'

"Sorry to bother you Peter but I’ve left a carrier bag with all of my fresh meat in it under the table where we were sitting.'

"Hold on I’ll get it for you Molly found it and put it in the fridge.'

"That was good of her said Mick.'

Peter returned shortly after and handed him the bag.

"Has Molly left?

"Yes,' she went fifteen minutes ago. '

"Funny I never saw her and the lights are off in her house.'

"Don't ask me mate she may have gone to bed.'

"No worries Peter, goodnight and thanks.'

Mick decided to walk up the road toward the Coast Road to the chip chop.

He walked past the territorial army barracks then up the street. "Then something caught his eye in lane at first he thought it was just a young couple doing there courting then he recognised the blouse with a distinctive pattern on it. He stood rooted to the spot just out of view as the man unbuttoned her blouse and was groping her breasts she had one leg wrapped around him as he pumped his manhood into her. He couldn't make out her face until it was over and Molly Richardson then did up the buttons on her blouse and pulled up her briefs.

Mick stood there in complete shock until they began to walk his way and he crossed the road and walked up the road so that he couldn't be noticed. What a fool he'd been he thought. Here was him playing the gentleman and she was playing the tart with some punter from the pub.  By the time Micky reached the fish and chip shop on the Coast Road he had completely lost his appetite instead he called a taxi to take him home. He stood outside waiting thinking to himself.

He could not get the picture of Molly and that bloke she was with out of his head. The thing that hurt the most was the fact that he’d treated her decently because she had said that she wasn’t like other barmaids. The ones men all thought was fair game. Then he thought what would have to tell his quiz friends. This would be embarrassing. They would laugh at him and think him stupid for not treating her like the slut that she was. He didn’t pay much attention to the man she was with, He looked with disgust at her at the time, but it must have been someone from the quiz. Who else could she have known. He wondered if she would have the nerve to come down to his house tomorrow night. If she did then he would chase her after telling her what he’d seen.

When the taxi arrived, he got into the front seat and the taxi pulled away after Micky had given him directions. He was in no mood for conversation even though the driver was.

He politely answered as it was not in his nature to ignore people.

Micky was glad when the taxi pulled outside his door and he was able to get out and be on his own.

Molly was the second woman to treat him like a doormat. He would never let another do it to him again. He let himself into the house then closed the door. He went straight to the fridge and packed away the meat before going to bed.



Bob Stephenson walked into the travel agency in the forum in Wallsend. He’d seen a holiday to Icmeler near Marmaris in Turkey, he’d been to Bodrum before and had enjoyed it. He felt it wouldn’t be far either by dolmush or taxi to Marmaris or to Bodrum. The lads from the Darts team better known as “The Jolly Boys” because they all liked to dress up in different costumes when going on holiday together met him on the August bank holiday Monday outside of Hayes travel. Darren the polite young lad with a rounded chipmunk like face and blond hair scrolled through the holidays on offer on line. “We have one here but it’s only for a week said Darren as he gave them the details.

“It’s got to be a fortnight said John Southerland better known as “Slack Arse” to his mates.

“Aye a cheap fortnight please said Stevie Philips (Sergeant Bilko)

Patiently Freddie Leck (Lecky) sat whilst Darren checked other holiday destinations for a bargain.’

“There’s one to Icmeler near Marmaris here said Darren enthusiastically. It’s based on six sharing and it works out at one hundred and twenty pounds each half board. Darren Showed them the resort and the Siesta apartment which looked very nice then the local beaches.

“When is it for?’

“September 14th answered Darren.’

“That’ll do for me, that’s the place said Sergeant Bilko, loads of tottie, bars and beaches.’

“Hold your watter a minute said Bob, do we get a discount?’

“Well that’s quite cheap for a fortnight and half board Mr Stephenson said Darren.’

“Come on Darren you can knock off another tenner each.’ You do that and we’ll take it.’ “Mind it must be on the ground floor for me having a gammy leg.’

“Give me a moment and I’ll have a word with my manager.’

Tell him we’ll exchange our money here if he gives us the discount.’

Darren got up in his grey slacks, white shirt, blue tie, and blue blazer and walked into the office at the back off the shop.

“What do you think Bob, do you think we’ll get the discount asked Slack arse.’

“We’ll get it don’t worry.’

“That’s another ten quid on beer then he laughed.’

The rest of the lads all cheered as Darren returned.

“I’ve spoken with the manager and he’s prepared to give you the discount but the holiday must be paid for today in full.’

Alright said Bob as he handed over a card. “Take it out of there, I can get the money off you lads before we go away unless you have a spare hundred and ten quid each on you.’

“That’s fine with me said Lecky as Darren took the credit card then went back into the office.

“I thought you weren’t workin’ Bob said Bilko?’

“I had a few quid left from my compo’ Bob winked.’ Bob didn’t tell them how much he had but the six grand he had in the bank would pay for his holiday in interest.’ The rest of the money that he had in the house and it would remain there until such times until the money was gone. Then he’d deposit another six grand which was below the thresh hold of what the social security allowed without having to declare it. He could still receive all of his benefit payments which he could save up for his spending money. He was getting full rent and rates allowance, severe injuries benefit, incapacity benefit, carer’s allowance and a private pension which worked out at over four hundred pounds a week. His friends didn’t know any of his business. Bob was saving eight hundred pounds a month. He was on the same money he grafted his bollocks off to earn at “Barriers” plus he had his little fiddle job in the taxi office.

He would have another eight hundred pounds to pick up whilst he was away on holiday. Life was good he thought. They came out of the travel agency then headed to the Buffs club for a pint. They could get a pint of John Smiths or Carlsberg lager for 90p. It was the cheapest beer anywhere. Bob caught a man going around with a domino card as they came in and put two numbers on. “Slack Arse went to the bar and got the round in as Bob found a table and they sat down.’

How long is it before we go away then?’

Bob was always good at figures and said right away, it’s three weeks this Saturday.’

“Won’t be long now then lads, don’t forget your costumes.’ I think it will be Hawaiian shirts for the plane what do you say?’

“Sounds good to me said Bilko.’

The bar was packed with people and the cigarette smoke was thick; luckily, they were sitting by a window and it was open. Slack arse returned from the bar with the drinks and sat down.

They all took a drink from the tray and took a large mouthful.

“First one the day said Bilko who was usually the driver but they had decided to get a taxi back.

All afternoon they talked about their forth coming holiday, Bob won ten pounds on the domino card so his beer and taxi home was paid for.’

You’re a right jammy bastard Bob the last two numbers on the bloody card and you end up winning it.’

“Well some people just have it some haven’t.’

 “I bet you’ve got a few bob on the horses an aal have you?’

 “Whey aye, I put a Yankee bet on most days.’ There’s a bookie just as I get off the bus so I popped in.’

“Well there’s no darts match tonight so what we doing?’

“I’m going up to the Comrade’s Club to meet up wi my fatha’ said Bob.’ Is there a turn on the neet then asked Lecky?’

“Aye a young lass called Lorraine Newman.’

“What she like?’

“She’s a canny chanter from what I’ve been told.’

“I meant has she got a big pair of tits.’

“Here we go again, do your eyes go no further than a woman’s tits Lecky.’

“No, where do you look like Bilko?’

“Well there’s her eyes and her smile, her personality.’

“Hadaway to hell Bilko you look at their tits just the same as me.’

Bob interrupted and said “Lecky go and get the round in Jenny behind the bar has massive tits.’

“It’s not my round.’

“Here there’s a tenner said Glen Elsdon go ogle some tits.’

They all sat back and watched as Lecky went to the bar. He looked at the woman’s chest as she smiled at him knowing he was eyeing up her ample bosom.’

“Like what you see said Jenny Wright the 38D barmaid.’

“Are those real Lecky asked.’

“All mine, there’s no falsies on me.’

“Wow Lecky swallowed. If you were in my bed I wouldn’t leave you alone.’

“Really, I bet my man would have something to say about that.’

“Who’s your man smiled Lecky who was a good six feet one and two hundred pounds. Lecky did weights at the gym in Supa- snooker three times a week. He looked impressive in his white coloured Lacoste tee shirt. His biceps were bulging and his huge shoulder muscles stood out from the average man. Jenny pointed over to a skinny looking man in his middle forties.

“He’s a bit old for you isn’t he.’ You must only be about twenty- six.’

“I’m thirty -two actually.’

“Same age as me then.’

“So, what can I get you big boy?’

“What you offering apart from beer?’

“Well you’ll have to wait and find out won’t you.’

“What time do you get off.’

“Six o’clock.’

“How about coming out wi me tonight?’

“That depends.’

“Depends on what?’

“It depends on what you have to offer.’

“I’ll give you a night that you won’t forget.’

“That sounds promising.’

“It’ll get better I assure you.’ 

“Jenny wrote down her name and telephone number and gave it to Lecky.’

“So, do you have a name big boy?’

“Yes, I’m Freddie, Freddie Leck.’

“Not Peter Leck’s son?’

“Do you know my father then.’

“Yes, I know him and so does half of Wallsend I expect.’

“Look Jenny, I’m nothing like my father.’

“How would I know, I mean I only work behind a bar right.’

“People talk that’s all.’

“You certainly fit the bill; you’re not involved with drugs, are you?’

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