The Golden Boy

Lola is NOT your average teenage girl. She wasn't popular, she wasn't a nerd, and she wasn't boy crazed. In fact, she hated boys. With her mind set on her future, Lola meets a stranger named Anthony at a gas station and instantly feels a connection, only to find out, it was a one-time thing. Lola's back in school and finds herself going to school with the same boy she met before.

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LOLA’S POV

 

    So there I was, in a more awkward position than before. I stood behind Anthony and continued staring at Madison and Valeria. I’m sure they wanted to know why I went up to him, but all I could think about was the craving of another jello shot. The guy I found interest in was Madison’s ex. I wonder what happened between them two or why she never decided to tell us, but those thoughts were for later. Anthony and I locked eye contact with Madison and Valeria, I could feel the anger coming from Madison just from her face. I walked over to Madison, not even saying goodbye to Anthony. My heels were killing me and the feeling of moving felt so uncomfortable. “Do you know him?” Madison asked me from a distance. I didn’t answer he until I was within 2 feet from her. My heart began to pound harder and harder. I wish I never talked to him, I wish I never responded to him at that moment. If everything was going to change because of him, I didn’t want it. I took a big gulp, my world was already turning upside down with the alcohol or not. “Yes,” I mumbled with a frown, “He’s the guy I was telling you about.”

    Madison stood tall, speechless. All she did was continue to lock eyes with him.  Valeria covered her mouth in shock, “Really?” She asked. I looked back at Anthony, while he continued talking to the boys next to him. I wanted Madison to speak, or say something to me at least, but she couldn’t. I felt as if she was hurt. I couldn’t bear it anymore, her silence built fear in me. I walked away, finding my way in the kitchen. I should’ve known that going to the party was a bad idea, but maybe the party wasn’t the blame. How was I supposed to know that she dated him? She never spoke about him, she never introduced him to us. He was anonymous. Although, I should’ve known. The way he looked and what he was wearing that day called Madison’s name out, and it seemed like I was the only one who couldn’t hear it.

    Looking for the plate of jello shots, my mind became a blur. I couldn’t think straight, it was a feeling of amnesia will fly past me. “Where the hell are those jello shots?” I asked myself. I looked around the table once more and found an empty silver platter. The jello shots were gone, and sudden sadness flew past me. All I could think about was Madison and how it was a school night. I wanted to lay on the floor and fall asleep, hoping this night would go away. There was nothing more than I wanted in that position. I noticed the red solo cup of Patrón was still on the counter. That’s how it started, the jello shots and the Patrón. The craving and the feeling of being lost in a party. Or was it further than that? I quickly grabbed the cup and chugged it down, it wasn’t the same drink. It was another drink, with the same cup, in the same space. It was already going down my system, but the adrenaline wasn’t fuming up like before. I couldn’t feel it, the only thing I felt was regret.

    “Lo!” Madison called out, pushing the kitchen door open.

    “Madison, I’m sorry.” I said, “I didn’t know he was your ex.”

    “I’m not mad, I’m just shocked,” She responded, “You have the same taste as me!”

    Quickly insulted, I shook my head in shock. “No!” I yelled out, “Just him, and it’s not like I even have feelings for him.”

    Madison rolled her eyes, “Then what were you doing when you lost us?”

    I was thinking about what I did do. I danced with Justin before I bumped into Anthony. My dance moves flew around in my mind, physical contact with a boy. Him grabbing onto my waist. I could feel his hands still on me. I could feel Anthony’s hand still rubbing my back with comfort. “I danced,” I responded. Madison walked up to me, smelling my breath as I talked. “You’ve been drinking heavily too,” Madison laughed, “You gotta hold your alcohol.” Remembering Justin said the same thing, I ignored her. I just wanted to go home. I got to saw Anthony, and I danced with a boy that I had no identity other than his name. To me, that was enough. But, it was a party. I knew Madison and Valeria didn’t want to leave so early because of me, so I stood silent about it. “It’s a party, right?” I said, looking back at the cup I took a drink from. The risks I was taking at the moment were huge, but I didn’t seem to mind it. My head was spinning, my shoes were killing me, and my waist still feels like it’s moving when I stand still. “Let’s dance, chicas!” I cheered out and took a big gulp of whatever was in the cup. Madison watched as the alcohol was going down my throat. She didn’t say anything about it, but her eyes did. “Let’s hit the dancefloor!” Valeria said, clicking her heels onto the floor.

    We walked out of the kitchen as fiercely as we walked in, the devil in heels feeling came back. With us three, we seemed unstoppable. It was a slowed motion feeling again, everyone seemed to be looking at us since we walked out of the kitchen. I could taste the mix of alcohol and my vomit swirling in my mouth, but the people who continued to stare didn’t. I watched as the people danced, wanting to join in with them. Valeria stopped walking and moved her feet to the beat of the music. Madison laughed as she watched Valeria dance, “That’s what you call moves?” She asked her. Madison put her hair up in a messy bun and began to dance with Valeria.

We were three friends on the dancefloor, showing our level of happiness with our bodies dancing to the music. Physically, we were surrounded by people, almost as if we were blending in, but verbally? We were guarded on a dancefloor by ourselves. On the floor, their personality and their sensuality burst through into the most vibrant picture of a careless girl having a good time. As if it was a flower, blooming at out their breaking point. They looked at me as their hair bounced with every move they made, “Come on, Lola!” Valeria smiled, “Join us!”  Valeria pulled out her hand, waiting for me to grab on.

It seemed the night was only going to get worse because of him. I can’t point fingers, but I didn’t know who else to point them to.  Maybe myself for even speaking to him and wanting to talk more. Maybe Madison, for keeping her ex-boyfriend silent from her two best friends. Maybe, it was just Anthony. Him being there, finding interest in two girls who were friends with each other and not doing something about. It could’ve been that smile, that damned smile of his that could attract an ant. Get it? It didn’t seem to bother anyone because it was just a simple party we were at. I couldn’t help but think this could’ve been an end of a friendship. Madison would never admit when she was mad, and I couldn’t blame her. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she didn’t mind doing it at any given moment. I wanted to enjoy the moment with them, on that dancefloor, but it bothered me.

“Hello ladies,” A male said, “Can I join?” I looked at Madison and Valeria as they invited the boy in with welcoming arms, but it didn’t seem to work for me, so I stopped dancing. I walked back into the kitchen for something to eat, but there he was. I wasn’t surprised seeing him again in a moment where I didn’t want to, but he always seemed to find a way to find me. I couldn’t move, it was either the alcohol making me feel this way, or it as him. My bones stood still, my legs were stuck to the ground. He didn’t notice me because he was pouring a drink into his cup while staring at the window. He let out a big sigh and stopped pouring. I wanted to leave, but something inside me urged me not to. Maybe even speak to him and ask why he didn’t tell me about Madison and him. We were getting to know each other at Dunkin’ Donuts, it was a perfect time to mention it. Part of me wanted to leave, and part of me wanted to stay. I made a decision too late as he turned around, taking a drink from his cup. “I’m not stalking you,” I frowned, “I just came to get something to eat.

“There’s nothing to eat here,” He responded, “Do you want me to bring you to a drive-thru?”

“No!” I quickly responded, “I think I should go.” I walked out of the kitchen as I could hear his shoes come after me. “Wait,” He said. All I could think about was finding a way out the house. I didn’t want to see him when I knew Madison wasn’t okay with her. It’s number one of girl code. Yes, I believe in girl code still, but I didn’t find a romantic interest in him, so I guess it didn’t matter. Anything seemed possible with him around knowing about him and Madison, I just didn’t want to be caught in the crossfire. I could feel him following me while I tried to find a way out, I didn’t bother looking back.

I found my way out as the front door was closed. I ran in pain, my heels were killing me, I had to get out of that house of future problems. I pushed through the people blocking the door and made my way outside, taking off my heels. My feet looked red, I was on them the whole night. It seemed like I couldn’t even stand on them. I sat on the stairs to the front porch and looked up at the stars. If there was just some way I could make all of this go away, I would’ve taken my chances. Unlucky for me, there wasn’t. I could feel the timeline of problems ready to be sprung up tomorrow at school. For things like this, Madison would ask me if I was ready. This time, I didn’t have Madison. If anything, she was going to be against me this time. I assured myself I threw myself in the pot of boiling water.

I closed my eyes picturing myself falling back into a cold ocean that had no end. Surrounded by thoughts, stars, and a dark clear sky. The feeling of being alone by myself again made me calmer and less worried. Floating on top of the water as the back side of my dress was soaked with cold water. Shivers flew down my neck to my back. The sound of the ocean and the sound of birds flying made me want to fall deeply into the water. Drowning with my own thoughts that would probably be a problem later. I felt my hair forming back into its curls, slipping out of the hairband. I didn’t seem to mind it, the feeling of fear was finally going away.

 
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