Sixteen Plus

"I don't understand why you keep hiding things from me,” he barked furiously looking straight into my eyes, the floor underneath me shook violently as I tried not to cry.
"You know what? I'm done listening to your lies." his rushed steps matched my heartbeat, and all I wanted to do was chase after him but I couldn't.

I'm scared..I..I..I love you.



1. Introduction

They say that love is the most powerful feeling present; some people argue that it’s hate. From what I’ve witnessed, they’re both on the same level. If you love someone you could do unspeakable things, betray, lie, and even lose yourself, same with hate. I never understood that, no, I believed that if I take a hold of my emotions, if I take control over everything, if I keep the right people around me, I’ll never lose myself. I was wrong. When I first stepped into this school, this new community, I held my book in my hand and swore that this time I won’t mess with myself. This time I won’t let anyone near me because I didn’t need anyone. I wanted to keep my nose inside that book hoping that it’ll shield me from what might come. As if living the lives of the fictional characters could’ve distracted me from what’s around me. Let me tell you this: you can never hide. Life will find a way to pull you back to reality, make you experience the good and the bad when all you’re trying to do is lock yourself out of it all. You don’t have the key; you’re just locked up hoping that it won’t be your turn to get twisted. The basic feelings, love and hate, will twist you because both will lead you to a broken path. They’ll tell you that it gets better but you’ll find yourself lost in that road, you’ll have to fight hard, you’ll fall again and again and again, then maybe you’ll crawl into a better road. It will crumble too. It will collapse. It will burn. You’ll still remember the things you experienced back there, those memories will never fade even if you try. These memories will lead you to destroying that place you thought was heaven. Then you fight again and the cycle goes on. 

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