Being Amber

Without any memory of her past and not knowing why people react to her as they do, Amber has to learn to survive in the hard underworld of the City, among gangs and the unwanted citizens.
Her appearent resemblance with Ben's dead girlfriend, places her in the middle of a war that easily can cost her and others their lives.
In her quest to find her identity Amber has to learn to tell friend from foe, see behind the lies and decide if Ben's past matters at all.
When Ben asks Tom to train Amber he gets pulled into the war happening around him, far more than he wants to be.
Tom's alliance with Ben hangs in a thin tread when he not only falls in love with Amber but also starts a relationship with Kattie, who already has a boyfriend in Clay, Ben's second in command.
Will Amber ever find out who she really is ?
And how Will they get through the war ?


6. Her fiancee



 Ben seemed to be himself again, but the real question was how long it would hold up. He knew he had fucked up, but that didn't guarantee he wouldn't do it again. It was to easy for him to get to the drugs in a weak moment and she would always remind him of what he lost.

 "Kress has looked into some things". Kattie told me as I sat in their couch waiting for Ben to come out so we could talk. Kattie sat on the beer boxes across from me. "Sonny has confirmed that she has been with them for two days. But he wont tell who paid him to abduct her but he told him the reason". Katties eyes told me there was reason to worry. "She is engaged.. to Christopher".

 "Christopher ?" The name meant nothing to me, but honestly I had never really been good with names, I was better with faces.

 "He used to go by the name Toph". Kattie added.

 Toph I remembered. He had helped Zombie starting his gang up and had been his second in command for many years. He was a man I thought and hoped never to see again.

 "Toph knows that she has been at Sunny's. He knows we had a fight the day he let her go". Kattie continued. "Toph isn't stupid. He knows that someone paid Sunny".

 "And Toph is going to think that we are behind it". I said dryly before Kattie had a chance to say it out loud.

 Kattie and I were they only ones who new his secret. We were the only ones who knew why he left the underworld. If someone would want to take a hit at him it would definitely be us.

 "And he knows that there is a big possibility she is with us". Kattie continued. "That man just became a threat to us.. again".

 "We need to go talk to him.. now".

 "Then we need to tell him were she is".

 "He probably already know that. If we don't go to him, we risk getting the Nobles and the entire goverment after us". I leaned forward grasping Kattie's hands in mine. "Alone he can't do anything. If he shows his face here we will tell everyone why he left".

 "Ben will hate this". Kattie sighed.

 "We are not going to tell him".


 Ben and I walked through the small residential neighbourhood between the high rise Ben owned and the old abandoned jail were Kress and The Stars had their base. I had needed to get him out of the apartment to talk freely with no risk of Amber listening.

 "I shouldn't have given her that name". Ben admitted.

 "No you shouldn't". I agreed.

 "I can't take it back now". He said kicking a rock. "She wants to stay, which means I have to have a talk with all the leaders and make them make sure that no one tells her her true name".

 "Why ?" We knew who she was, even with that information she could choose to stay. "Can't she know who she is ? What it is she is turning away from ?"

 "I can't loose her too". Ben didn't look at me as he said it, but I could hear the pain in his voice. "It would be like loosing her again".

 "She isn't Amber you know". I warned him. "And if you try pressuring her to be her, then you will surely loose her".

 "There is something about her that speaks to me. And it isn't the parts that reminds me of Amber,  ut the thinks that puts them apart. Her frailty. The way she blushes when she looks at me". Ben smiled to himself. It was a smile that after all gave me a small hope.

 "She can't stay fragile here. As soon as Zombie sees her, she will become a pawn in your games". I pointed out. "She isn't strong enough for that".

 "I am ready to defend her with my life". Ben looked at me. "Zombie will never get near her". His tone of voice left no doubt that he meant it.

 "You can't protect her forever. You can't be there always. She need to learn how to defend herself". I told him truthfully.

 "When she is ready, not before that". He said repellant.


 I am on the back of Kattie's motorbike. She insisted that she was driving and the bike was easier to get through the woods than my car. The motorbikes had been Clay's idea when he arrived, Ben had obtained two bikes. Kattie was as least as happy about those bikes as the guys.

 The first place we went looking for Toph or Christopher as he went by now, was at the Noble estate. Katties stayed back as I knocked at the big oak door and waited. 

 A young woman opened and she kept her eyes at her feet the entire time.

 "Good afternoon. I am looking for Mr Noble". I didn't think it wise asking directly for Christopher when it wasn't his home.

 "The master isn't home". She answered me meekly.

 "What about his son-in-law then ?" I didn't know if Christopher had gotten himself a last name as well when he moved back to the city. "Do you know were I can find him ?"

 "At his office at the Casino". Still the same humble attitude. "Or at his own mansion just down the road from here".

 We went to his own mansion first, the young woman who opened there was much less meek and could tell us that in fact Christopher was at the casino and she was all alone. "So if the gentleman is thirsty he would be welcome to come inside for a bit". She bit her lip looking at me.

 Kattie rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm pulling me with her. "Oh no, he don't have time for fucking a cheap skank like you, we have business to attend".

 "Well, well. Someone wouldn't happen to be a tiny bit jealous ?" I said grinning, as I waved at the girl at the door. Kattie hissed at me. "I couldn't care less who you sleep with, but damn I am not standing here waiting for you and we have things to do".

 At the Casino we were met by two guards that refused to let us in. "Go tell Christopher that we want a word with him". Kattie said sounding irritated. Here in the tourist area it wasn't as important to be proper and polite. Our clothes gave us away though and we weren't wanted here.

 "Tell him it is about Sarah". I told them.

 That made them wake up and one of them immediately pushed a button, saying that a man and a young woman wanted to see Christopher. I heard Christopher's voice through the speaker, exactly like I remembered it from five years ago, sharp and powerful. "Names ?" 

 "It's Tom and Kattie". I stepped forward speaking into the speaker, knowing he could hear me. There was no wavering when he answered. "Send them up".

 A secretary greeted us and opened the door to Christopher's office. He was sitting in a big armchair looking relaxed. Wearing an expensive suit and a real gold watch. He most definately wasn't the man I hadbeen in a shootout with.

 "Sit down". He made a motion towards two ordinary chairs opposite from him. I immediately noticed the gun in front of him on the table. Probably it was placed there in our honour. "So you have information about my Sarah ?"

 "Yeah I would say so". Kattie answered. She had crossed her arms on her chest. "But firstly I like to point out that we didn't pay Sunny to take her".

 "Really ? Because it seems a bit odd to me that one day to members of The Eagles shows up here telling me they know who I am and three days later my fiance goes missing". Christopher leaned forward, placing his hand on the gun. "You two happens to be the only ones who know what I did".

 "We didn't even know you were still in the city". I defended us. "If we wanted revenge we would have come for you directly. We wouldn't let an innocent girl pay the price for you".

 "I am not stupid". Christopher's glare was angry. "You are both older now and much stronger. Don't you think I have been waiting for this day ?"

 "Which day ?" Kattie said. "If you have been waiting for your fiance to disappear, shouldn't you have been protecting her better then ?"

 "Kattie !" I send her a warning glare. She needed to keep her cool. "Let's pretend you believe us for a moment". I was looking at Christopher. I was no longer the teenager her could scold for using an abandoned building for target practice or for sneaking into the girls sleeping hall. "If I say Amber, you know who I am talking about right ?"

 "Amber ? Wasn't that the girl who blew at the sparks between Ben and Zombie and made it a mighty fire before getting herself killed ?" Christopher leaned back, keeping the gun in his hand. "What has she to do with my Sarah ?"

 "Well as far as we know nothing else that she looks like her.. a lot". I answered him casually. "Same face, same eyes even the same damn beauty mark on her ear. Only difference is that your Sarah has a lot more scars on her body than Amber ever got, which is weird given her upbringing".

 "How do you know that ? No wait, I forgot who I was talking to, I rather not know". He said shaking his head and was about to say something more, but I cut in. "I saw her body when I treated her injuries after Ben found her in the woods. Have you ever seen her body ?"

 "Of course not ! She is a daugther of Catrista's upper class, she can hardly be alone with me before we are married and she is always bery demurely dressed". He says.

 "So demurely that you have never noticed her neck or wrists ?" Kattie glared at him. "Was she a freaking nun or what ?"

 Christopher's face showed that he had seen it. He knew very well what we were talking about.

 "I have never seen these many scars from torture, violence and rape on one body before". I told him angrily. "Not even in the underworld, and we live in a constant state of war".

 "I didn't know". Christopher moved to the edge of his chair. "I swear that I didn't know. I thought it was just her hands. That he tied her up when she would comply".

 "And tried to strangle her with a rope ?" Kattie shot in. "What a nice father you must have thought him to be".

 "If I had known, I would have ran away with her". Christopher looked at me. "I promise, he will never get a chance to hurt her again".

 "Of course he won't, because she isn't coming back home". Kattie answered. "She woke up without any memory of who she is. She don't remember you, her father or the name Sarah. All she knows is that someone hurt her badly".

 "What ?" Christopher asked as he let himself fall back in the chair. "She doesn't know ...".

 "We don't know why. There is no indication she has hit her head, but she don't want to come home. She won't risk coming back to get abused again". I told him calmly.

 "And were is she now ? At least let me see her. Let me tell her who she is and then she can make up,her mind". He said.

 "She is with Ben". I said studying my nails. They needed a trim. "She is an almost exact copy of the woman he loved and who he buried. He wouldn't let anyone tell her something that could make him loose her too".

 "And now she run around thinking she is his girlfriend or what ? Is that what you are telling me ?" Christopher got up. "If he has touched her... ".

 "Then what ?" I looked at him. "What exactly would you do about it ?"

 "He hasn't lied to her". Kattie broke in and stood up too. "He has just given her the same name. She knows very well that she has only just arrived with us".

 "I am begging you. Let me see her". Christopher sat down again. Resting his head in his hands. "You have no idea what her father is capable of. He will tear the underworld apart to find her".

 "Well then you just have to stop him wont you". I looked at him challenging. Efter a to long silence I got up. "If you show your face in the underworld I will have to turn you in for what you did".

 "On which grounds ? It would be your word against mine and I still has a tattoo that gives me certain rights". Christopher's gaze was challenging me.

 "I bear the same tattoo as you". Kattie pointed out. "And contrary to you I got allies in the underworld".

 "Zombie would side with me and as you would be the one turning me i , it would end up being about who,they trusted the most. An unstable young woman or me". Christopher had switched back to being Toph. The second in command who always knew what to say and who still saw me and Kattie as big kids.

"Wonder who they are going to believe". I put my hands on the table, leaning towards him. "The man who ran away living in exile for five years or us". I held his gaze for a couple of seconds. "If you had kept yourself updated you would know I took over as leader of the Eagles two years ago. My words outweigh yours by far".

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