Being Amber

Without any memory of her past and not knowing why people react to her as they do, Amber has to learn to survive in the hard underworld of the City, among gangs and the unwanted citizens.
Her appearent resemblance with Ben's dead girlfriend, places her in the middle of a war that easily can cost her and others their lives.
In her quest to find her identity Amber has to learn to tell friend from foe, see behind the lies and decide if Ben's past matters at all.
When Ben asks Tom to train Amber he gets pulled into the war happening around him, far more than he wants to be.
Tom's alliance with Ben hangs in a thin tread when he not only falls in love with Amber but also starts a relationship with Kattie, who already has a boyfriend in Clay, Ben's second in command.
Will Amber ever find out who she really is ?
And how Will they get through the war ?


22. Forgiving, war and a fight



 Lying in bed and staring at the dirty and holed ceiling didn't excatly help when you were already in a bad mood. The empty grey walls, the whole place made me depressed. So I closed my eyes. Not that it was any better, because there was the pictures I didn't want to see, pictures of Ben with that little blonde.

 I had avoided him for three days now. I had taken all the sales shifts and spent my evenings at the club behind the bar. If I was forced to be at home at the same time as him, I stayed in my room

 "Amber ?" I had heard the door open, but I hadn't opened my eyes to check if it was him. I felt the bed dip, when he sat down next to me. I didn't dare open my eyes and see his face, see those eyes.

 "We need to talk". I felt his hand gently rubbing my arm. "The other day.. I didn't realise that you are feeling that way". I bit my lip to keep from saying something. "That you.. after what I have put you through.. how can you feel that way about me, when I have never treated your fairly ?" He was clearly waiting for me to react. "Please look at me".

 I was shaking my head, pressing my lips and eyes even closer together.

 "What can I do to make you look at me ?" He asked softly.

 "If I look at you I am just going to forgive you right away". I whispered. "And it is ridiculous, because there shouldn't be anything to forgive. I have no claim on you. What I feel shouldn't affect what you do".

 "Amber..". I felt his hand against my cheek and the bed dipping a bit more as he moved. Then I felt his soft lips against my forehead. I had to swallow, as my heart threatened to jump right out of my chest.

 "What you feel should affect everything I do". He whispered with his lips still on my skin. "I know I don't deserve it, but I hope that one day I deserves your forgiveness". He pulled back.

 "There is nothing to forgive". I accidentally opened my eyes and looked directly into his. It surprised me and I forgot everything else I wanted to say. "I..". The words dissapered and it was like some electric current ran between us and I had to fight a desire to lift my face the few inches to reach his lips.

 "Ben..". We were interrupted by a yell from KC followed by the sound of the door getting kicked in. Only Zombie arrived that way.

 "Stay here". Ben asked me, as he quickly got up and ran into the living-room.


 I could hear voices, but no sounds that made me believe there was a battle. Shortly after KC came into my room.

 "They are going to talk". He rolled his eyes. "A very important meeting apparently".

 "With Zombie ?" I asked surprised.

 "Something about an extension of the meeting the leaders had earlier today". KC shook his head. "Sometimes I really don't get them".

 It took a lot less time than expected before Ben came back into my room. Both KC and me looked curiously at him. "So what did he want ?" KC asked.

 "We have agreed that we need to settle this once and for all". Ben answered, like it was something unimportant. "There isn't room for both me and Zombie in the underworld. So the deal is one of us have to leave within two months or we have to settle it in another way".

 "What ?" I asked. "Which other way ?"

 "War". KC face was stone cold. "Seriously Ben ? War ?"

 "I don't really have any choice". Ben answered. "At the meeting earlier everyone agreed that me and Zombie needs this settled for good. Zombies price for peace is not one I am willing to pay".

 "Whatever do we have that are worth a war ?" KC asked. "Or is it that you don't really want peace, want to settle it with Zombie without violence".

"Do you think I want a war ?" Ben glared angrily at KC. "I know the risks of a war, believe me I do. But Zombies conditions are simply not something I can agree to. His price is the one I would never pay".

 "Is this your choice to take alone ?" I asked him. "Don't we get a say in this ? And what about Tom and Kress ? They are your allies. What if they are ready to pay the price ?"

 "If they are, then they are no longer my allies". Ben's eyes rested on me. "Zombie asked for the one thing in the world he knows I wont give up".

 "I am going to find Kattie". KC got up from my bed. "And if my hunch is right, I have no doubt that both Tom and Kress will support you".

 Ben tore his eyes away from me to look at KC. "Clay is not to know anything yet". He said. "And sorry I got angry".

 "I understand". KC answered. He sent me a quick glance before leaving the room and leaving me alone with Ben.


 "Ready for a real fight princess ?" Zac asked me teasingly, when we stood in front of each others in the ring. I was actually looking forward to this. Hoping I could learn some things.

 "Princess ? Seriously did you just call me that ?" I rolled my eyes exaggerated. "Is that some new way of trying to talk of my knickers ?"

 "I was just thinking that it might be some new titel you had taken. The rumours come around you know". Zac answered with a smile. "Or maybe you prefer queen ? Personally I think it sounds a tad old, doesn't it ? But on the other hand, we don't really know your age. Maybe you are really old ?"

 "Are we going to fight or what ?" I cut him of. "Because then I am going to show you that I am not old in any way".

 Ben and Tom was both sitting a couple of rows up on the benches, watching us.

 "Do you need to warm up so you don't hurt yourself ?" Zac asked challenging and cracked both his shoulders.

 "No need, I am always warm". I answered, launching myself at him.

 Despite the element of surprise Zac managed to step aside and get a grip on my forearm, but i managed to twist it free. I let my entire body follow and managed to get a kick at his knee.

 Soon we were both in our own world. A world were we only saw, heard and felt each other. With Zac it was like I knew what he was going to do as soon as he decided on it. I blocked him again and again, while trying to penetrate his defences.

 I fall to my knees, but instead of giving up I used the chance to roll away and getting a kick in at his thigh, before I jumped up and threw myself at him again.

 But it ended up the way it had to end. Zac had me pressed into a corner. He had one of my arms caught behind my back, the other one was locked by his hand around his neck. His other hand was pressed into my chest, keeping me there and he had one leg twisted around my knees. He only needed to flex his impressive leg muscles and I would go down or press a bit harder and it would be impossible for me to breathe.

 "Do you want time to ponder if there is a way out ?" He asked me sarcastic. I was already weighing any option. There was no way out. His head was to far away for me to headbutt him and he was way to strong for me to pull his head any closer. He was of balance, standing on one leg and leaning into me, but I had no way of taking advantage of that.

 "There isn't any is there ?" I sighed in resignation.

 "What do you say ? Ben, Tom ? Does any of you see a way out for the princess ?" Zac didn't look at them, his blue eyes was locked into mine. He didn't relax for a second, didn't give me the tiniest possibilitie to find a weakness.

 "I think we have to declare the fight over". Tom answared. "With Zac as the winner by a margin".

 With a very smug smile Zac pulls away from me, making the blood run back into my arm, making it tingle and prickle. "You handed me the opportunity yourself". Zac pointed out, as he held up the elastic rope for me, so I could get out of the ring. "What on earth was that arm doing behing your back anyway ?"

 "I wasn't really aware that it was even there, not before you had it squashed". I defended myself.

 "So you have no control over your limbs in a fight what so ever". It came thoughtfully from Zac. "Hey tell me Tom, have you taught her anything at all ?"

 "Oh stop it Zac. You know very well that Amber has just proved that she is on our level". Tom shot back. I was staring at Tom in shock. Was he serious or was he kidding ? It wasn't always easy to figure out when the guys were talking.

 "Of course she is". Zac put an arm around my shoulder, squeezing me to his side. "After all she got her first lesson from me".

 "But all the rest from me". Tom retorted, sneaking an arm around my waist from the other side, pulling me towards him.

 "Yeah when you two are done discussion whom can take the honour for Ambers exceptional talent, then I was hoping you were ready for a small meeting this evening ? If Kress and Drew are available of course". Ben sounded like it was nothing important, but I had a sneaking feeling that it was.

 "What is it about Ben ?" Tom asked.

 "Zombie". Ben answered. "But only if you haven't got other plans, if you do it can wait for tomorrow". 

 "I am getting Kress to come her right away". Zac let go of me, fishing his phone from one of the many pockets, while he left the room.

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