Being Amber

Without any memory of her past and not knowing why people react to her as they do, Amber has to learn to survive in the hard underworld of the City, among gangs and the unwanted citizens.
Her appearent resemblance with Ben's dead girlfriend, places her in the middle of a war that easily can cost her and others their lives.
In her quest to find her identity Amber has to learn to tell friend from foe, see behind the lies and decide if Ben's past matters at all.
When Ben asks Tom to train Amber he gets pulled into the war happening around him, far more than he wants to be.
Tom's alliance with Ben hangs in a thin tread when he not only falls in love with Amber but also starts a relationship with Kattie, who already has a boyfriend in Clay, Ben's second in command.
Will Amber ever find out who she really is ?
And how Will they get through the war ?


31. Finding her brother



 We were sitting around the table in Ben's kitchen, as he told us what had happened. How Zombie had promised Christopher protection if he went in to get Amber now. Ben had of course been in contact with Zombie, who had gloated over his victory and his revenge on Amber.

 "We will get her back". Zac promised and gave Ben's shoulder a squeeze. "They can't hold her forever, she won't let them".

 "I am more afraid that there wont be anything, anyone to get back". Ben said looking down at the table. "She is scared of him. Of her father".

 "We will get her back". I repeated Zac's words. I had my hand resting on Kattie's thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Amber is strong".

 "But she is wounded". Kattie pointed out. "And she don't have any painkillers, we can't get to her either".

 "Maybe Penny can". KC suggested. "At least with some painkillers. She is part of Catrista and the first person to run away to the underworld and then return".

 "Yes". Ben lifted his head, looking at KC. "Take one of the bikes at go to her immediately". There was hope in Ben's eyes and voice. KC got up and quickly left the kitchen, and half a minute later we heard the door close. "Amber is strong". Ben said. "We will get her back".

 "Let's meet tomorrow morning". Kress said. "Then we will cook up a plan and get her home".

 "Thank you, it is good to have friends". Ben walked Kress and Zac to the door and I turned my attention to Kattie.

 "It isn't your fault Kat". I told her once again. She was blaming herself, because she had been there when they came. Because Amber had gone with them to safe her from the situation she had gotten herself into by lying to the police. "None of this is your fault baby".

 "And now everything was just starting to look so good". She sighed and got up. I quickly followed her to her room. Pushing away the annoyance that she had been sharing this bed with Clay.

 "It is all going to be okay". I pulled her into me and gently stroked her cheek. "Especially now when you and me finally have each other". I wasn't good at these lovey dovey stuff and it sounded stupid in my own ears.

 "Oh but do we ?" She looked up at me with precisely the smile I loved the best. The one that made me wonder if she was going to kiss me or slap me into next week. "Like in that I can be certain that you no longer let any of your female members come to your bed or Penny for that sake ?"

 "I have no desire to have anyone but you in my bed". I told her, letting my hands slide down her back. "I have no desire for anyone but you".

 "And you do understand that being in an actual relationship is more than just sex right ?" She asked snaking her arms around my neck. "There will be days were I only need you to hold me and then there is those periods were it is totally out of the question and you have to tread very careful. You know periods were I am less overbearing".

 "I live together with 371 women that has gone through puberty. Belive me I know how to handle those periods". I kissed her forehead, slowly moving down over her cheek.

 "And how many of them can kill you if you utter one wrong word ?" She asked, exposing her long slender neck, so that my lips could continue that way down. 

 "I'll take my chances". I whispered. "I can always throw you home to Ben if you becomes to much".

 "Am I to much when I am telling you that I don't want to have sex with you tonight ?" She asked and lifted her head to look into my eyes. "Tonight I just need to know that you are here".

 For the first time ever I laid down in a bed next to Kattie, next to any woman actually, without there being anything sexual in it. For the first time in my life I had the intention to spend the whole night next to a woman and to wake up next to her the following morning.

 "Sleep well baby". I kissed her forehead and continued down to her mouth. "I promise to sleep light for you".

 "Thank you Tom, sleep well".


 I woke up when the front door slowly opened. Sitting straight up in bed listening. Someone was most definitely in the living-room coming towards the bedrooms. I had heard Ben go to bed some time ago and shortly after KC had come home sneaking into Hope's room, not at all being as quiet as he belived himself to be. So the person outside was not one that was supposed to be here.

 I grabbed the knife from the nightstand and got up. Just as I opened the door, Ben also opened his. He was like me only in his boxers and had a knife in his hand. Our eyes met and we turned towards the living-room.

 All the tension seeped out of me when I realised it was Amber standing in fron of us, only wearing a very thin silk nightgown, her feet were bare and she had fresh scratches on her legs. Ben dropped the knife and in two long strides he was beside her, pulling her into his arms.

 "How..". Ben started to speak, but she cut him of. "I need to get back before they realise that I am gone". She was out of breath, and there was no doubt she had run all the way here. "But first I desperately need some painkillers and you have to take a look on the wound". She looked at me.

 "Of course". I gave them some time and space, going into the kitchen to pick up the pain medication. When I came back they were standing close together and it looked like they were devouring each other. Like they were becoming one. 

 This was what my dreams was like when I dreamed of her. Well except for me being in Ben's spot.

 "Sorry to interrupt". Only their lips parted, when I stepped up to then, gently pushing the needle into her arm. After I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. "I am going to leave you alone now". After all I had Kattie waiting for me in her bed:

 "Actually I really want you to hear this too". Amber finally pulled away from Ben. "My mother told me something when I came home and it took a little while for me to realise what it meant". She sat down on the coffee table letting me clean out the wound I had already taken care of once.

 Shortly she told us how her mother had asked the midwife to getnrid of the two newborn babies. How the first born, a boy had been taken away, a death sentence over his head. And how her father had arrived and stopped the same thing from happening to her.

 The dots connected in my head right away.

 "Everybody who is unwanted ends up here in the underworld". I said. "The hospitals sometimes bring newborns, they always bring them to me".

 "Also 24 years ago ?" Amber asked. "Did you also take in the unwanted newborns 24 years ago ?"

 "Well I hardly took anyone in 24 years ago". I pointed out. "But yes, The eagles has always been the ones who took in the children and prepared them for life here. Some of them stays, some chooses to switch to other gangs".

 "So you think your brother might be in the underworld ?" Ben asked her.

 "I know he is". She answered him. "And I also know who he is". There was no doubt in her voice.

 "Zac". I said before she could say it. He had been left here as a newborn 24 years ago and my mother had cared for him. They might have different hair colours but they had the same curls, they also had the same lips, same shape of their eyes and there was a special chemistry between them that I first had misread as attraction.

"I should have known the moment I saw my mother, he looks so much like her. But I can't get to him because I don't have a tattoo". Amber said and looked at Ben. "I am going to be married to Christopher tomorrow, after the ceremony my father and him plans for me to die. I need Zac".

 "Stay here". Ben begged her.

 "They would just come and get me again and I can't guarantee that I can save your lifes again". I had been right. Amber is strong and she is smart too. "With Zac I have a rightful heir to my fathers fortune and Christopher would no longer get anything from marrying me. It won't give him what he hopes for". She was looking at the ground. "If I can get Zac to step up and I can get rid of my father, then I belong to Zac instead and I no longer have anything to fear".

 "So you want to go to Zac and ask him to give up his life here for your freedom ?" I asked her. "Have you any idea what it is you are asking him to do ?"

 "I need to talk to him". She was looking at me, not Ben, there was pleading in her eyes. "And it has to be tonight".

 "Then let's to to see Zac". Ben said, already on his way to get his clothes.

 "I want Tom to go with me and only him". Amber said softly.

 For a moment they were looking at each others. None of them said anything. Then Ben nodded, accepting her request, not knowing why it was so important to her.


 Even in the middle of the nigh Kress' gates were guarded. Because of the time and the impending war, they wouldn't let us in before Kress or Zac had accepted it. And the only reason the even bothered Zac was because of me. When another leadershowed up in the middle of the night it was usually important.

 Zac showed up looking very much like he just rolled out of bed, wearing only a pair of low hanging pyjamas pants, his hair a mess of curls and now when I knew I could easily see the resemblance and the little things they both did.

 I left it to Amber to explain. This time it was much harder for her to say it, and she kept stumbling over the words. When she had finished Zac looked at her. "I have never been this happy to have been turned down by a hot woman before".

 "Zac!" She slapped him on the shoulder. "So you believe us ? You think we are right".

 Zac nodded slowly. "It's the only logical explanation, I was the only infant delivered here at that time and well now I get why you are so hot, we have the same genes".

 "Sorry Amber". I rolled my eyes at Zac. "Zac is just covering his emotions with stupidity".

 She smiled softly. "It's okay, I know he means nothing bad, it's a big thing to take in. But I am just happy that he agrees with us". She looked at Zac.

 "I hope no one sees me". He mumbled to himself, then he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly and she hugged him back. I couldn't help smiling. Me and Kress was the closest Zac had to family, so I am happy for him.

 "There is one other thing". Amber whispered as she let go of Zac. "Something I couldn't tell Ben". She didn't look at any of us. "When my father bought my mother in marriage, part of the price was that their first born had to be send to my grandfather. Our mother had a girl two years before us. A daugther she sent away".

 "Of course". Zac took a deep breath while nodding thoughtfully. "Nobody looks that much like each other by coincidence".

 "She ran away from a marriage". Amber added. "She was already married when she came here. I didn't wan't to.. Ben can't know..".

 "You are scared he will look at you differently if he knew". Zac said softly, taking her hand in his. "If he knew you are actually her sister".

 "I don't think you need to fear that". I told her. "Ben has become a much more understanding man since you came into his life".

 "So understanding that he will accept me haveing to marry Christopher ?" Amber looked at me. "You were right Tom, I can't ask Zac to give up his life here for my freedom. But if we tell Christopher the truth, we can use it to pressure him to give me my freedom. He will fear the moment Zac steps up to claim his heritage. The moment Christopher would loose the power he has gained".

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