Being Amber

Without any memory of her past and not knowing why people react to her as they do, Amber has to learn to survive in the hard underworld of the City, among gangs and the unwanted citizens.
Her appearent resemblance with Ben's dead girlfriend, places her in the middle of a war that easily can cost her and others their lives.
In her quest to find her identity Amber has to learn to tell friend from foe, see behind the lies and decide if Ben's past matters at all.
When Ben asks Tom to train Amber he gets pulled into the war happening around him, far more than he wants to be.
Tom's alliance with Ben hangs in a thin tread when he not only falls in love with Amber but also starts a relationship with Kattie, who already has a boyfriend in Clay, Ben's second in command.
Will Amber ever find out who she really is ?
And how Will they get through the war ?


10. Christophers secret



 Putting a face to the threat hanging over her head turned out to be exactly the motivation Amber needed. She didn't just give up any longer as soon as she got tired, but kept fighting until her body couldn't any longer. Instead of pressuring her to do better, I now needed to hold her back, get her to listen to,her body and stop before she collapsed.

Very fast she felt at home in the training rooms. Working on the mashines and the treadmill without paying attention to others. Mike, Ben, Kattie or I was with her and had to keep telling her that it would work putting more weigth on, not yet. She was impatient, but she still listened to us, mostly.

 "If I make a complete training schedule for you, do you promise me to follow it ?" I asked her, while she once again sat with her head between her knees, trying not to throw up.

 "It need to go faster". She mumbled through her pressed together lips.

 "Amber". I sighed. "Your body can't change in a matter of weeks. Pressuring it like you do now will only destroy it, and wouldn't that be such a shame ?"

 "I don't have time". She looked up at me. Her eyes that before would always flicker around, now held my gaze with no wavering. "He kissed me Tom". She pointed out. "Zombie kissed me and I could do nothing to stop him. And even worst, he did it in front of Ben".

 "Amber look at me !" I placed my hands on her shoulders, squeezing slightly. "I promise you will get the possibility to take revenge on Zombie. But to get there you will have to do as I tell you".

 "I don't get anywhere by playing football with the kids". She said in an annoyed tone.

 "Could little miss know it all please hold her complaints till she has heard the actual schedule ?" I had to be hard, I got nowhere with her by being soft. She could hate me if she wanted to. And she almost never played football anymore. Even if I told her to I would more often than not find her training instead.

 "Fine!" She made a face. "Come with it then".

 "You are to be here every morning at 8 o'clock and start the day by running along the wall. When you can do the whole lap without walking or stopping you start taking time and report you lap,time to me every day. After that you go down here and go through your rutine I have put together, with the weight I have told you. Nothing more or nothing less, got it ?" I handed her the paper were everything was written down.

 She nodded as her eyes scanned the paper slowly.

 "When you are through the series on the paper you take a walk along the wall, and make sure to drink a liter of water while you do it. When that is done you are to take a fifteen minute break and eat one of these". I handed her a protein bar. It was necessary to get a lot of extra proteins in her when she was training this hard and I doubted she had gotten a lot of proteins in her life. "And then you take another walk along the wall. Only walking. That should fit with lunch. Make sure to,eat plenty of meat and vegetables. After lunch you are to spend an hour doing absolutely nothing. You can go sleep an hour in my bed if you feel like it". 

 "Seriously, you are going to tell me when to sleep ?" She looked angrily at me. "How old am I ?"

 "Right now you are acting like you are about eight years old". I told her. "After you break, you take twenty minutes on the treadmill as fast as you can. Then you repeat the series, then another walk along the wall drinking another liter of water and another protein bar. The rest of the afternoon and the evening you can spend as you want, except no training what so ever. And I expect you to sleep at least ten hours every night".

 "So you haven't scheduled my free time too ?" She said dryly.

 "No, but I could come up with some fun ideas". I send her a teasing grin and she rolled her eyes, but her cheeks got suspiciously red. "No seriously if you want an advise. Spend time with your gang, get to know poeple and have fun".

 "And what if I won't follow your schedule ?" She looked at me challenging. When she first came her she would never have dared talking back to me.

 "Well then I am going to wash my hands and I would tell Ben that you dont have the reason or good sence, you need to be an active member". I held her gaze and the challange dissapered from her eyes when she realised thatnI was serious.

 "And I guess that Ben is only interested in active member ?" She sighed sadly. "I need to become strong so he wont have to protect me all the time".

 I couldn't help smiling. I understood the look in her eyes, because I had seen that look in the eyes of dozens of young girls under my protection.  "Well without claiming to know how Ben thinks, I am guessing he actually enjoys protecting you, it's a male thing. You have given him something to care about again. You should really insist on spending more time with him".

 "He is always out selling or working at the club. Or taking inventory or delivering or at some kind of meeting". She stopped to breath in. I don't like him selling drugs".

 "Then tell him". I suggested, quickly adding that she shouldn't do it if he had used said drugs or if he had been drinking.


 I closed the door to my office and looked questioningly at Zac who had placed himself behind my desk with his feet on the table like he belonged here. Of course he once had, but he had never belonged in the office.

 "You are never going to get anything useful out of her Tom". Zac said, apparently amused by me trying to train a daugther of the upper-class to our way of life.

 Zac was the strong one. He was the first to gain control of his body which had put him ahead when it came to hand to hand compat. But when it came to his views about women and society, he was to much like Kress.

 "And why shouldn't I get that ?" I flopped down across from him, placing my legs next to his on the table. "She most definitely doesn't lack the drive after Zombie's attack".

 "She is destroying The Shadows". Zac pulled his legs down and leaned forward to look at me with a business like look. "Ben thinks of nothing but her and it hurts him so much that he uses again to forget. Kattie is a nervous wreck, just waiting for Ben to snap. Clay is still hurt. Which means that The Shadows are run by a 17 year old kid with a 15 year old girl as his most stable help".

 Anywhere else I would have been worried and had it been any other 17 and 15 year olds I would have had my concerns. But I trusted those two. 

 "I have full confidence in KC and Hope, they know what they are doing". I told him with confidence. "I am guessing that Kress send you. Have you seen Ben lately yourself ? He has the sparkle back in his eyes". I explained. Even though I wasn't sure Zac would ever understand the sparkle. "He has started looking forward, he is fighting for The Shadows again. She might bring up some bad memories, but she has woken him up. She has given him back the desire to live". Couldn't the others see that ? It was shining from him.

 "Are you sure you are just not seeing what you want to see Tom ?" Zac asked me. "She is enganged. I know he wasn't exactly a friend or anything. But he was still one of ours. Don't he deserve to get her back. She would have a better life there".

 "Oh if you knew what I know you would never suggest sending her back to him". He would never understand. "Toph wasn't just a typical cold and ruthless second in command to Zombie. He..".

 "What did he do Tom ?"

 "Do you remember Louisiana ?" 

 "How couldn't I remember her ? She is the closest we had to a mother. She was like our big sister". She had been the one caring for me, Mike, Zac and Kattie, even though she had only been 5 years older than me. She had tried to educate us when our parents failed or weren't there. She had picked us up from the amusement parks, scolded us, taken away the nightmares and grounded us when needed. "Yeah she dated Toph". Zac said.

 "Exactly, she gave birth to his son". Zac had known she was pregnant, not who the father was.

 "So he was the father ? But the broke up right ?"

 "He couldn't have the power with The Zombies and a family with The Eagles. Louisiana didn't wanted to leave us, so they broke up. Toph didn't want the kid or a family, so he shot he point blank in the face minutes after she had given birth. He didn't even blink. Kattie was 14 years old when she pulled a newborn from his dead mother arms and stopped Toph from killing the it. 14 yers old Zac !" She had never said anything, but I was sure the nightmares I still struggled with also found their way to her. "Kattie and me grew up that day. We were the ones who went to get Toph and told him he was a father, we let him into the school". The guilt still weights me down to this day.

 "Why didn't you turn him in, having him sentenced ?" Zac asked. "But I get your point. Toph don't deserve his fiance back. So this is your revenge".

 "We were so young". I said resignedly. "And when we got old enough to do something I comfronted him and he left the underworld, so we decided to put it behind us. And no it isn't my revenge. It isn't for my sake, it's for hers. She deserves so much better".

 "And how is her training coming along then ? Is she going places ?" Zac asked.

 "Definitely". I was happy about the change of subject. "But she needs a very detailed program, I even have to schedule breaks or she is running herself down". It kind of annoyed me she had to be that stubborn.

 "Make sure she takes some days of once in a while". Zac suggested. "Or her body won't have time to recover". I knew he wasn't saying this for her sake, he just couldn't help it.


 Once again Kattie found me during my evening training. I always trained at night. I liked having the place to myself and she knew that.

 "Has he taken drugs again ?" I asked her, when she sat down across from me.

 "Probably. He never came home after selling". She sighed. "At least he has started to stay away when he falls in".

 "What worries you ?" She had pulled her hair loose and was braiding it, a clear sign she was worried and stressed.

 "The upper-class boys in the park". She told me. "They were there the day me and Amber got attacked by Zombie. And even though they never get involved, they must have seen her. Her cousin runs with that group. What if they recognised her ?"

 "It's been more than a week". I pointed out. "They would have reacted by now. They don't expect finding her here and especially not with dark hair".

 "Jack stopped me yesterday". Kattie said and let go of her hair without putting the elastic band back in. "Her cousin, that tall skinny one with the dark hair, the one who,think he is cool before he smokes".

 "I don't really care about the Kat". I admitted. "I have no idea who,is who and who that does what".

 "But he knows who I am. He is sure she is kept prisoner somewhere here and he actually suggested that being a woman I should offer myself up in exchange".

 "Did he really say that ?" I had to suppress the urge to start laughing. "And you said what to that suggestion ?"

"Well I told him it is har to make an offer to someone who doesn't exist". Kattie shrugged. "And I pointed out that I didn't know any Sarah Noble and if I did I would be sworn to silence and the price for breaking that was more than he could pay. So he started bragging about his name and his family money. So I pressed a gun to his chest and he ran of".

 "He isn't a threat".

 "Ben said the same. But he is searching for her. Here. What happens when her training is over and we risk him seeing her ?" Kattie asked.

 "When that tome comes she can hopefully handle the truth". Was all I could say.

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