The Woes of Ron/Ocard

The story of Ron, a chicken, and a mysterious student named Ocard and his many personalities.

~Originally Written As A series Of Texts between Snowily and Kagamine.My.Heart~


4. Loondoon toooown

"Let's go to the chicken store" Ron said. "No way! Apples are BETTER!  I mean, thaaaat's what I'd say if I liked apples." Ocard said.

"Who said anything about apples?" asked Ron.

"" said Ocard. 

"Ah! I see."

Just then Ocard's phone rang. "Gotta take this." he said. "It's my friends Crabbe and G- I mean, Lobster and Gargoyle." "What unusual names." Ron thought as Ocard stepped into a dark alleyway to talk to his friends on the phone.

Ron eavesdropped on Ocard's phone call. "Look, mother, all I did was sneer at that WEASLEY and the next thing you know, he's blabbing about some CHICKEN SHOP and insists I go with him!"

Ron ran in and grabbed the phone from Ocard. "Hello hello, good day to you sir! Oh, your name is Narcissa? Wow, that's the name of the mother of that one kid called Draco! What a coincidence!"

Ron hung up. He turned to Ocard. "I thought your friends were Lobster and Gargoyle."

"Well, you see..." Ocard said. "That's their codename cause we're like playing a spy game."

"Sounds like fun! Can I join in?" Ron asked eagerly.

"Uh, sure." Ocard said uncertainly. "You can be, uh...Fred."

"Fred? But that's my brothers name! How did you know?"

"Oh right! You're a psychic!"

"Well, okay, but we need to go find my friends first." Ocard said.

Two boys walked by. "There they are!" said Ocard."Okay, now turn around cause you're not allowed to see them." 

"Why?" asked Ron. 

"It's part of the game." Ocard answered.

"Okay." said Ron.

But of course, he wanted to see the friends so he looked.

"Hey! You look just like two of Draco's friends, Crabbe and Goyle!" said Ron excitedly when he saw them.

Lobster stared at Ocard's fake glasses and nametag. "Uh, Draco? Why are you wearing a disguise and a fake nametag?"

"Hey did he just call you Draco?" Ron asked.

"Uh.. that's my codename." Ocard answered.

"See? It's Ocard spelled backwards."

"Oh, okay!" said Ron.

"Wow!" Ron said. "Draco would really get along with you guys! How about I take a picture with you guys and send it to hi--"

Ocard almost punched Ron. Almost.

Instead he just kind of accidentally broke Ron's phone.

"Hey! Why'd you do that?" asked Ron. "It's part of the game." Ocard explained.

"Oh. Okay!" said Ron. Then he stepped on Ocard's phone and started jumping on it.

"Hey!" Ocard Screamed. "My Fa- I mean Faaantasic friend will hear about this!

"Hey!" Ron exclaimed. "For a moment you sounded just like that one guy named Draco! You're really good at doing an impression of Draco. Do you know him?"

"Well.. um, I had visions of him cause I'm a psychic. That's how I can do his voice." Ocard explained.

"That's cool." Ron said. "Hey, do you know how to do my friend Harry's voice? Cause you're a psychic and all?"

"Sure." said Ocard. "I'm Harry Potter and I'm the Boy Who Lived blah blah blah." As Ocard shook his head for emphasis, the glasses flew off. Ocard covered his eyes. "AAAAh! I'M BLIND!" Ocard wailed.

Ron ran over and picked up the glasses. "Hey, why are there no lenses in the glasses?" Ron wondered. "Maybe he really IS blind!"

When Ron came back, Ocard already was wearing glasses and had a wand."Hey, what's that?" asked Ron. "It's a... selfie stick!" said Ocard."Oh, O.K." said Ron. "I thought it was a wand!"

But these glasses actually had lenses in them. Ocard stood up and accidentally stepped on his "selfie stick". "Rats." said Ocard. "Hey, speaking of rats," said Ron."I used to have a rat named Scabbers. Once he bit Draco's Goyle friend."

"It really hurt!" Gargoyle said. "I mean, I feel bad for that guy, it must have really hurt."

"Wow, you almost sound like you saw all of it happening!" Ron exclaimed. "Are you a psychic too?"

Ocard answered. "Yeah, we are. We own a place called Uh... Slytherin Psychics--I mean Slithering Psychics--I mean, uh... Supreme Psychics."

"Wow" Ron murmured. "I should really tell Draco about this. I'm sure he'd LOVE to joi--" "NO!" Ocard screamed, forgetting to put on his Ocard voice.

"Did I just hear Draco scream?" Ron asked. "What if he's hurt?" "Yeah, he's being held hostage by my um, arch rival who's an... exchange student named...Hari Pota!" said Ocard.

"Wow, all of your friends names sound really familiar...well, at least I don't have to try so hard to remember all these names!" Ron said.

"Yeah, cause we all are also stars in a movie." answered Ocard. "That makes sense. Can I have your autograph?" asked Ron. Ocard signed. "Hey, why's this say Draco?" Asked Ron. "It's the name of the character I play." Ocard said, flustered and embarrassed.

Ron gasped. "Wow, you're famous! I can't believe I'm friends with famous stars! If only Draco knew, maybe he'd consider being friends with me!"

"Like that could ever happen--uh... I meant yeah, he might consider it" said Ocard.

"Cool" Ron looked around. "Hey, there's my BFF Harry Potter! Or is that Hari Pota? You tell me!" Harry stared at Ocard's nametag.

"Oh, no! That's my archenemy! We better run!" said Ocard "We know who you are, archenemy!" Ron screeched at Hari Pota.

Harry stared at Ron. "What are you doing? Why are you wandering around with Draco?" "Draco? No, no no no, this is OCARD, not Draco." Ron explained. "Go away, POTA, you're just jealous that I'm friends with a moviestar."

"Technically, we're all movie stars!"  said Harry. "You're not." Ron said.

Harry looked at Draco/Ocard, who looked like he wanted to leave.

Harry grabbed for Ocard's glasses. In instinct, Ocard pulled out his wand. "See! He has a wand!" Harry said. "That's not a wand." Ron argued. "That's a selfie stick."

"Uh, yeah!" Ocard grabbed the broken pieces of his phone and stuck them to the tip of his wand. He held it up high. "But first, lemme take a selfie!"

"Your phone is BROKEN." said Harry."So?" said Ron. "Selfies are good no matter what!"

Ocard looked at his broken phone in a surprised manner. "Oh, looks like it ran out of batteries." He said. "I'll go buy some more!" he yelled, running off with Lobster and Gargoyle. 

"Well, those were weird people, they were nice though." said Ron.

"I wonder whats for dinner."

"I hope its chicken."


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