Bringing back Rain

"Go home girl." My smile vanished when he mentioned home. No way was I going back there. He narrowed his eyes in frustration.
"If your a prostitute, I'm not interested." Now I was offended.
"I'm not a prostitute you asshole!" My jeans weren't even that tight.

A girl trying to survive the hell that is her life and a boy who could make everything better... or way worse.


14. F O U R T E E N | Hypocrite

Nathan stopped in front of an apartment building not far from where I lived. I followed him without even asking him where we were. He unlocked the door and went inside. 
"Wow." The outside may not look impressive but the inside of the house looked truly beautiful. The walls were all white and most of the furniture either black, grey or white as well. There were only minimal decorations but there were some modern looking art pieces on the wall which gave the apartment a very sophisticated and modern feel. 
"Thanks. It took me some time to get it right." My jaw dropped open. 
"This is your house?" Nathan nodded. I looked at the room with new interest. It was hard to think that this very much adult room was were Nathan lived. 
"Listen…" I focused back on Nathan when his voice switched back into seriousness. 
"I don't know how a girl like you got wrapped up in all this shit but you need to get out of there. Bad things will happen to you if you don't."
"You're such a hypocrite." How could this guy lecture me about the people I know when he's doing exactly the same thing. 
"I didn't have another choice."
"Neither did I, you fucking idiot! And I didn't become a drug dealer, did I?" I suddenly got angry again and with my tear stricken face I probably looked crazy. 
"How do you know Natalie?" Nathan sounded almost afraid to hear the answer but I was pretty sure he already knew it. I briefly thought about lying but I just didn't have the energy to argue. I gave up. 
"She's… my mother." My voice is dull, there was no love in that sentence. Nathan didn't look surprised but he didn't look happy either. He looked… sad almost. 
"I'm sorry. For being a hypocrite I mean."
"It's fine." 
We both just stared at each other for a while. It seemed useless to discuss any more but talking about something else seemed weird as well. Eventually, Nathan broke the silence. "Do you want to stay here? Just as long as you want, you definitely can't go back there anytime soon." 
"I'll go live with Ivy, she told me I could stay with her if I wanted."
"Is she the girl who opened the door at that house for you?" I nod.
"Aren't her parents going to ask questions if you start living with her?" 
"Aren't your's?" I didn't like to admit it but this conversation was going in a direction I hadn't expected. Where was the complete asshole I had met that first night?
"I live alone." It didn't surprise me but I still looked around the apartment once more, wondering how on earth it could look this good. 
"Well, Ivy's moving out soon, I can stay with her then. And I'll definitely survive a few more weeks in that house."
"You can stay with Ivy but until then you are not going back to you're place. You're staying here."
"Don't tell me what to do!" His smirk appeared again and I could already see how this was going to end. He was used to getting what he wanted, I wouldn't be an exception to that. Especially when all he had to do was convince me to not go back home which really wasn't a hard thing to do. Just the thought of going back made me anxious. 
"You'll stay here, end of discussion. If anyone hurt you, I'd have to kill them and that'd be a lot of work. So just do me the favor and stay here." It really wasn't a choice he was giving me but I pretended to see it as such nonetheless. 
"Fine. But only for a couple of weeks. As soon as Ivy has her own place, I'm gone." I decided to not mention the list of people he'd have to hunt down if he really meant it and wanted to punish the people who hurt me. 
"Great. The bedroom is on the right, the kitchen is over there and you can get to the bathroom through the bedroom." He pointed all the rooms out to me and sounded almost giddy now that I'd said yes. 
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After showing me around he told me to take a shower while he made something to eat. I had the urge to tell him off for bossing me around but I really did want a shower and I wasn't in the mood to argue. 
The water was warm and for the first time in forever I felt relaxed. I didn't jump with every sound, afraid that someone might get in and see me and I didn't try to get out as soon as possible. Only when my skin got all wrinkly from being in the water too long did I get out and dry myself off. My hair smelled like Nathan since I used his shampoo and for some reason I wasn't opposed to that. I couldn't see myself in the mirror because of all the humidity in the room but I didn't need to. I knew exactly what I looked like. Short, skinny in a probably unhealthy way, flat brown hair falling in a tangled mess to just underneath my boobs. My face wasn't anything special, I had big green eyes and somewhat bushy eyebrows. My lips were… well normal, as well as my nose and rest of my face. Not to bad actually. Maybe not special but not ugly either. The ugly parts were the scars. They were everywhere, mostly on my stomach and back but also on my thighs and scattered all over my body. That combined with bruises that never seemed to go away made me never want to look at my body again. It certainly made me never want to show my body to anyone anytime soon. 
But since my life is a cosmic joke as soon as that thought entered my head I realized that my clothes were nowhere to be seen. I looked through every place they could be but I already knew better. My clothes where outside in the bedroom. All the cursing in the world couldn't change that but I tried anyways. But at some point I had to give up and wrap the small towel around me. It shouldn't be a problem. After all Nathan hadn't been in the bedroom when I went into the bathroom in the first place there was no reason to think he was there now. 
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The bedroom was empty. Thank god. My clothes were lying on the bed where I left them. I rushed over there and let go of the towel trying to change as quickly as possible. I only managed to put on my underwear when I heard a voice behind me. 
"Rain?!" I shrieked and held the towel in front of me again but it was too late. 
"Get out of here!" I yelled trying my best to cover myself with the towel. Nathan didn't budge. 
"What was that?" He asked, shock written all over his face. 
"That was me naked you idiot, now get the hell out of here and let me change!" "Don't lie to me. Those were scars all over your back." He stated, daring me to object. I didn't. He took a step forward but I was too stunned to move away. 
"Let me see that."
"What? No!" Even now I didn't move away. I was frozen in place. He saw me. He actually saw me. 
He reached out for the towel and I didn't do anything to stop him. I just stood there and stared as he pulled away the towel and uncovered my damaged body. Only when I saw his fists clench and his eyes narrow did the panic set in. I knew on some level that it was ridiculous but that couldn't stop my breath from becoming irregular and my heart from beating way to fast. I tried to reach for the towel again then my shirt, searching for something, anything, to cover myself up again. No one could see me like this. No one. I knew it was too late but I still tried to prevent it. I didn't even notice how tears were flowing down my face until Nathan reached out and wiped them away. Without meaning to, I flinched back from him.
"Shh, it's ok. Everything is okay."  That was such an obvious lie but I didn't mind that in that moment. He cupped my face with his hand so I looked at him. His anger had disappeared or he was hiding it very well. 
"You're beautiful." That lie was way more subtle but he couldn't fool me. I shook my head. 
"Rain. You are. You are beautiful." I tried shaking my head again but he gripped me tighter and I couldn't. 
"You are so brave." He was completely serious and somehow that made me smile a bit. A criminal and drug dealer was telling me I'm brave. That was new. 
Only then did I realize that he was standing inches in front of me while I was still  in only my underwear. Nathan seemed to notice as well, as he looked at the small space between us then back at me. My breath caught but this time not out of panic. 
I leaned in a bit, almost without meaning to, and before I knew what had happened his lips were on mine. I pulled back after a second, afraid to see his reaction but I barely had enough time to see his dark eyes before he was kissing me again. 

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