The Club

"The Club" A group of Old pensioners meet up each lunch time to have a drink and play cards and gamble on the horses. read the comic exploits as the men try to out do each other


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DICK MARSHALL a 7o year old retired merchant seaman, married to Elsie for forty eight years has two sons DAVID and PETER. DICK MARSHALL is 6ft 2inches tall and weighs around 195 pounds likes to stand at the right hand corner of the bar drinking Lamb’s Navy Rum. He has a thick head of hair and a beard which gives him a look like the country and western singer Kenny Rogers.

DICK is intelligent and can converse on most subjects if the mood takes him.



IAN PORTERFIELD 72 year old retired welder in the SWAN HUNTER Wallsend SHIP YARD. IAN is about 5 feet 7 inches tall and is bald. He comes in at the same time every afternoon 12.05 pm. Under his right arm is the Daily Telegraph, in the other hand a wooden hand crafted walking stick with a handle made from the horn of a ram.

He likes to sit near the television so that he can watch the horse racing.



LARRY ATKINS is a 68 year old retired miner. LARRY is loud and annoying.

He has always something to say weather people want to hear it or not. LARRY has a speech impediment which makes him even more annoying.

He has a funny way of drinking a pint. It goes into his mouth then back into the glass two or three times before swallowing. LARRY will take a pint from anyone who’s buying and usually sidles up to some unsuspecting customer and begins talking until the customer buys him a pint then makes a hasty retreat. Likes to stand on the left hand corner of the bar unless he’s putting the obligatory ten pound note into the bandit.



NIC BALDWIN a 59 year old rough looking man, unemployed or between jobs he tells people but he always seems to have a wad full of money and the rumours are that he maybe a drug dealer.

NIC likes to play a game of snooker with his friend JOE COX who is also unemployed.


JULIE ROBERTS the 35 year old busty barmaid who all the lads like to watch as she bends over. JULIE knows they are all watching her; she loves the attention and the sexual innuendoes. She always has trouble clearing the bar at closing time.



ALAN JONES a 63 year old retired policeman. He is a committee man; in fact he’s been the treasurer of the club for over 14 years. Alan is a broad based man with silver greying hair which is thick and wavy. He loves to play cards and have a bet on the horses each afternoon. He is married with one son BARRY who collects the glasses upstairs in the concert room on a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights.


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