Underneath / H.S / AU

"I'm broken and all of the pieces of me are scattered. I think you're the only one who can find them and put them back together. And I can do the same for you."

I could see the pain I was causing her but I couldn't help it. If it escalates farther I know that I will ruin her like I do everything else.
If only she could see the tortured man who was terrified of losing her buried underneath the hardened exterior.
Maybe then she would love me.


1. // o n e //

NOTE;  this fanfiction was originally entitled "London Snowfall." Since posting it on this site a few years ago, I have entirely refurbished the plot and changed the name.


WARNING; this book contains strong language throughout. If any other warnings apply to a certain chapter I will say so in the beginning of it. However, the language warning applies to every chapter and this is the only time I will be listing a warning about it so please, read at your own discretion. 



One Direction as themselves

Cara Delevingne as Noelle Wynters

Madelaine Petsch as Aubrey Bordeaux 

Dylan Sprayberry as Jaxon Wynters

Lilly Collins as Camelia Hinton




    "Will someone please bring me my water?" Aubrey shooed away the intern that was applying the finishing touches to her makeup. She wiped delicately under her eyelid, careful not to screw up her fresh mascara. If I know Aubrey, there is one thing she absolutely cannot stand and that is clumpy mascara.


    "Can someone get me one too?" I asked.


    It was an average day in London except that it was close to 90 degrees in the middle of May. We were having an unexpected heat wave for the past four days and I was curious as to just when it was going to end. I was always so fond of England because I very much enjoyed the cold weather. If I wanted to sweat all day long I would've just moved to the freaking Tropics for Christ sake.


    "Did Brad ever text you?" Aubrey turns to me while I roll my eyes.


    "No, I told you he ended it and I told him that he can go and f—"


    "Here's your water Ms. Wynters." Liam, our manager, came over and personally handed me my drink.


    Aubrey enviously eyed Liam waiting on me and spoke up, "Hey, where's—"


    "I'll be right with you." He turned towards Aubrey and I could tell by her face that she was resisting the urge to flip him off. Love her, but we all know that if she isn't the first one noticed, then there may be a scheduled hissy fit in about three . . . two..


    "Well that's incredibly douche bag of him," Aubrey inputted. Ah, and there it was. "And I don't just mean Liam, you know."


    At this I had to laugh. Of course she wanted to bring Brad up again. I wondered if she knew that Brad and I had been over for about two months but neither of us said anything about the matter. She didn't even bother to ask, she was too consumed in her own glamorous life to really care about mine. She occasionally included me in it, I mean after all I was her best friend but while she was trying to get into every modeling agency possible, I was juggling modeling and med school. And not just any med school; St. George's University.


    I was studying to be a surgeon but I could never tell Aubrey that. To her, doing any type of activity besides standing there waiting for someone else to wait on you hand and foot is just appalling. Hell, I think attending just about any college was too dull for a girl like Aubrey anyway, minus the occasional frat and sorority parties. This of course, would be the only reason she would ever even consider university.


    "How did it happen, anyway?" Suddenly, Aubrey's voice broke me out of my reverie. As I looked over to her, in an attempt to swoosh my blonde bangs out of my face without having to manually do it, I noticed that she was clutching her water bottle in her left hand.


    Wow had I seriously just gone off to another world for God knows how long that I didn't even notice Liam coming back here? One of my downfalls is clearly giving in to my imagination and letting it take over. Something that always got me in trouble in school, for sure. I'm going to have to learn how to have some self-discipline.


    "What?" I asked, clearly still disoriented from my little lapse.


    "With Brad, did he at least do it in person?" Aubrey leaned in closer, as if what we were saying was highly confidential information. Which it was nothing of the sort, the relationship was in no way serious. He was too conceited for me and besides, I simply do not have time for a boyfriend. And that was okay with me.


    "If you count a video he sent me of himself over text message as 'in person' then sure."


    Aubrey gave me her best sympathetic look. I could tell she was trying so hard to act like she cared, but I knew she really didn't. It was okay, though. That's how it always has been and I guess I just don't mind because I know how to handle myself.


    "Oh, honey," she reached over and tugged my bangs behind my ear, completely destroying my previous attempts for the past five minutes. I silently thanked her. "Forget him. Tonight, I'm taking you out."


    "You are?" I straightened up in my seat. This was the first time she's offered to do something for someone other than herself in a very long time. Who knew it would take a breakup that happened over sixty days ago to make her finally start caring.


    "Totally. This new club just opened up and it's right around the corner from our building. We are getting laid tonight if it kills us."


    I let out a few scattered chuckles. Aubrey may have had a lot of things going against her, but I could never deny the fact that she could always make me die laughing.


    But that was the other thing about her. Ever since her first real relationship ended, she has refused to fully put herself out there again. So she just has these flings. "Hooking up with people is way easier than divulging yourself into a huge commitment," were her exact words. To me, it just seemed like she was 'divulging' herself into get about 90 STDs instead. Definitely not my thing. I don't know why she does this, probably some sort of coping method so that she never gets hurt again and is in total control at all times.


    "Whatever you say." I twisted the cap off of my Voss and gingerly sipped. As I looked up, Liam appeared in front of the both of us, almost scaring the water out of my mouth.


    "Girls, you're on in five minutes," he said anxiously. Oh, Liam. Always so worried that everything is going to go wrong. I think he could use a vacation. Or two.


    It's not like I hate my job. Of course I could be serving grease filled fries at the nearest McDonald's but I'm not. I get paid to wear expensive clothes, look thin and gorgeous and walk in heels. But if I had a choice, I wouldn't be doing this. I desperately need the money in order to pay for college and not be swarmed in loans and eventual debt. The girls are so superficial and why shouldn't they be? They're airbrushed and made up every single day; they're job description is to be artificial. Most of the girls are either in love with themselves or starving to death. Or both. I don't belong here.


    But I have no other choice.


    "So what even is this?" I asked, confused. Aubrey had taken me here on a whim as a last minute gig for us and she didn't even bother to tell me what the pictures being taken were for. All I knew this morning was to wake up, hardly eat breakfast, and rush out the door with her. Before I knew it I was getting all dolled up for a photo shoot that I didn't even know existed three hours ago.


    "Noelle, are you stupid? We're doing a photo-shoot with the stars from The One and Only Direction. Didn't I tell you that?" Her eyes had changed from that familiar golden hazel to an icy brown. I could tell she was just as annoyed with me as I was with her at the moment.


    "No, you never managed to say that on the hour ride over here," I said, clearing my throat. I didn't know what she was playing at, but I just wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. I had class in less than three hours and I don't know how I was going to pull that off since it practically takes two to take all of the hairspray and make up off. I guess I was attending class looking like a Marilyn Monroe pinup.


    "Well, I'm going first and then you're on. Make sure you fix yourself up for a quick touchup before you go out there. You won't want the hot movie stars thinking you're ugly, now will you?" Aubrey glanced over her shoulder at me as she pranced off to get her picture taken. Sometimes, it felt like that was the only thing she was good at.


    But still, I turned around and got a good look at myself in the mirror. I saw a girl with teased hair with soft golden curls cascading down my shoulders. The pink vintage sweater they were making me wear in this heat was almost unbearable. I had to resist the urge to rip it off as I strolled down the cobblestone road. If there was one thing modeling had taught me to do it was walk anywhere and everywhere in six inch heels and still look fabulous; a quality skill to have. Thankfully my turn came quickly. I saw Aubrey walk off into the changing tent with a few assistants, probably to strip her of the black camisole she had on. I didn't blame her; I didn't even know how I wasn't sweating already.


    Soon enough, Liam came out of nowhere like he always manages to and motioned for me to come this way. I pranced towards him and noticed one cube on the ground that was meant for me to stand on? I assumed that's what it was there for, so I just took a step up on it and as usual, I was already being yelled at for it. I sighed. I know I'm not supposed to do things like that without being directed to first but just the thought of that makes me sick. I'm like some helpless puppet being ordered around a stage to look nice for everybody but myself. I know I'm being paid and that this isn't slave labor but I still feel like I'm not allowed to make any decisions on my own.


    "No, no, no!" Liam came over, more like rushed over, and escorted me off of the cube delicately. "What are you doing?"


    "Um, standing?" I said, resisting the urge to laugh. I didn't mean for it to come out sounding as sassy as it did but I especially can't stand anybody here today so I pity the person who tries to mess with me.


    "No, no. That is reserved for Harry Styles."


    "Who?" I asked, oblivious. Half the time I didn't even know what Liam was trying to tell me and in most cases I would just shake it off and pretend to do everything he asked me so that I wouldn't get further questioned, but today for some reason I was feeling rather talkative and not to mention pissed off. Plus, who the hell has a literal block designated just for them? This guy must be a real big-shot and I so am not in the mood to deal with an attention grabbing drama king today.


    Liam didn't even answer me. Quite frankly, I think he tried to ignore me and shrieked as if I had just said that I killed somebody. And within the blink of an eye he was gone again, running to fetch God knows what. I cringed as I watched him go. It was almost painful to stare at the dampened gray on his shirt near his underarms. Then I had a thought: maybe it was the heat that was making me turn into some modelzilla.


    Or maybe my impatience was getting the better of me, it did feel like it was taking forever just to get the damn thing properly set up. I swear Aubrey was in and out in the entire amount of time I have spent dawdling in front of the camera by myself. Why had her shoot been so short? While I was just standing here waiting for these people to arrive like I had nothing better to do with my life. Well, I mean, I didn't but still. I could be doing nothing in perfectly nice air conditioned vicinities instead of dry heat.


    When I turned around, I noticed Liam in the distance walking with two guys. Or what appeared to be two guys, I couldn't make it out particularly due to the fact that I am completely blind at the moment. With Aubrey rushing me out of the flat so quickly I had no time to put my contacts in. When they finally came into focus, I noticed that they looked next to miserable. I mean, I would too if I had to pose for the same picture with ten different models.


    As they approached, I noticed a mosquito on my leg and debated for a good second whether or not I should slap it. Deciding on impulse, I smacked it hard and noticed the blood from the insect pouring out. Ew. Bad idea, Noelle, bad idea. Liam would have a fit over this, I hope he doesn't pay attention to me. I mean, he is distracted by these guys so I doubt I'll even earn as much as a blink in my direction.


    "Okay, so Harry we're going to have you stand on here like so . . . mhm, yes perfect! Louis get next to Niall over here and let's try and make this fast. We have eight more girls to get through and it looks like a thunderstorm is underway," one of the assistants decided to dictate the entirety of my shoot, apparently. He wasn't wrong though; I glanced up and was taken aback by a giant rain cloud making its way over our heads. Made sense, the tropical weather was really seeing itself through, I gathered.


    I decided to get a good look at the guys that will be posing with me for the next five to ten minutes. The boy who was supposedly Harry stood up on the pedestal and right as his eyes met mine, I knew why it was reserved for him only. He had the brightest green eyes, the most charming smile I've ever seen in my whole life, just the right amount of volume in his luscious curls, and—


    "Um, are you going to get over here or what?"


    Jeez, manners much? I guess it's just all fun and games until they open their mouths.


    "Excuse me?" I asked, turning the bitch mode on.


    "Are you going to get over here and do this stupid photo-shoot now or what?" He furrowed his eyebrows together as he spoke, almost giving me a dirty look. His voice was deep and husky, different from what I've heard around here. Being from America, I don't know much about British accents but I've been here long enough that I can distinguish a few dialects. His was definitely northern.


    Not that I was listening that much anyway.


    My eyes traveled down and I noticed an extremely detailed and very large, I might add, snake tattoo on his forearm. It was a long snake, taking up practically the entire extremity as it was covered in big, black scales with a red underlying skin color. Its tongue was sticking out and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I took my eyes off of it finally, but still felt as though I was staring at it.


    From my peripheral vision, I could see the blonde one nudging his arm whispering "Harry."


    "I'll get over there when I'm ready, pretty boy. You're on my turf now." The words came flowing out of my mouth the second that they popped in my head. Wow, I really was not taking any bullshit from anybody today. I liked this new feisty Noelle. I turned up my nose and took out my phone while I was at it. I wondered how badly I could annoy these boys without getting myself fired. Hmm. Sounded like a challenge, almost.


    "Oh really? Leroy. Leroy!" he called, like a moron. Even though he got his name totally wrong, there Liam was, answering to him like he was his boss. I honestly pitied him at that moment. Having to cater to these freeloaders right now would be the absolute last thing on my mind.


    "Nice try, it's Li-am idiot. And he answers to me. Isn't that right Liam?" I turned to him and I could tell the nervous look was wiped right off of his face. He looked so irritated but I could tell he was trying his best to keep it professional.


    "Get up there. Now," his voice came out hushed through his gritted teeth. He sounded so furious that steam should be coming out of his ears. And it's not like he even yelled at me, it was that creepy whisper that was so firm it sounded reprimanding and scary. It made a shiver run up my spine so I decided it was best to do as I was told, unfortunately, much to the pleasure of everyone else.


    I walked up to the boys and stood in front of Harry, right where my red 'x' tape mark was. The way photographers treated the models was as if they were some type of dog that had to obey every single order. Every command that was given, 'turn here, no smiling, don't squint, don't frown, suck in your stomach, look happy but not too happy, do 87 cartwheels just for our own amusement." It was like a mad house here. But it was all I've ever known since sophomore year in high school.


    I didn't really know how close I actually was to Harry until I attempted to lean back and accidentally bumped into his upper abdomen. He was already tall to begin with but now that he was standing on top of the pedestal his height resembled a giant's. "He answers to you, huh? Don't be such a drama queen," he whispered in my ear, getting so close to me that it was enough to send chills down my back and get a whiff of his spearmint flavored gum.


    I squinted at him and pursed my lips as though that would remove all of the anger from my body. "Shut up or else I'll elbow you in the balls next, dipshit."


    "Ooh, I love my women straightforward," he whispered again, licking his lips in one swift movement. I caught a tiny glimpse of his pink tongue. What was that supposed to even mean?


    Finally Liam returned, standing behind the camera. "Okay, are we ready? Good." Before any of us had a second to breathe, he started snapping away and I struck up my best poses for him as much as I wanted to get the hell out of there.


    Click. Click. Click.


    The photo shoot seemed to fly by, until Liam announced that he was taking the final shot so "make it last." I arched my back and placed a hand to my forehead dramatizing that I felt faint from the overwhelming feeling of meeting these so called movie stars. I've certainly never heard of them before.


    I lifted one leg up and bent it behind my back for a more classic pose. I gasped when I felt strong arms come up from underneath me and lift my weight off of the ground. Without thinking, I let out a yelp and looked down at the gap between my legs to see a familiar snake tattoo on the wrist.


    Trying to remain poised, I continued with the pose I was originally intending for until Liam yelled, "NEXT."


    I turned to Harry; he was still holding me with a smug look on that face of his. "Ahem," I hinted for him to put me down but instead he did the exact opposite. "Let me down!" I tried again, this time with more force. He smiled a cheeky smile and got a good look at my eyes. I absently returned the favor and almost found myself becoming lost in his emerald gaze. I instantly forgot what I was trying to say.


    That is until he fucking let go of his grip on my legs, causing me to drop right on the ground. Thank God those blue mats that the photographers always covered the area of the shoot with were there to break my fall; otherwise, I would have probably broken something.


    "Oh, that is what you wanted right?" he said, sounding all cocky and full of himself. That stupid recurring smirk of his returned again, almost looking like a deranged crooked smile. I could've sworn I heard a chuckle come out of him too.


    "I hate you," I spat at him, feeling so small especially since my bum was still planted on the mat on the ground. When I looked up at him it felt like he was nine feet taller than I was. He towered over me until he bent down and leaned in close to my face.


    "You'll love me." His lips were so dangerously close to mine, if he were anyone else I would be anticipating for them to meet. The scent of his minty breath emanated once more and filled the air with its sweetness. Though, he was anything but sweet.


    And with that, he walked away, taking a bite of the banana that one of the assistants handed him. I feared that with the swing in his step, and the way he turned around and winked, this would not be the last time I would be seeing him.


^^ Harry's look in this chapter ;)haha 

This is Noelle in this chapter for her photoshoot: 

Also, I apologize for how long this first chapter is, but if you enjoyed please give it a vote! leave me some feedback in the comments below :) I would be more than happy to check out one of your stories as well.


This will be updated regularly. 


toodles xx Kate 


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