The Girls 2

Estal Academy is back! A new year, new students, new friendships.

With all the problems in their lives, can the three girls stick together?

*Contains triggers and emotional subjects people may find distressing/upsetting


13. 13



When we’d finished shopping, Laine and I took the train back to the academy. It was raining when we got off at the station near Estal, so I took my jacket and we both covered our heads with it. It had grown cold too, so I was shivering in my thin jumper. Laine wrapped an arm around me so that we shared our body heat.

We got back to the room to find Amber crying on her bed. “Amber, what’s wrong?” Laine asked. We both assumed the worst; Dom had called saying he urgently needed to talk to Amber, so we assumed he was dying or breaking up with her. He was crying too, which was definitely a worrying factor.

I perched on the end of Amber’s bed and stroked her leg, while Laine sat next to her and rubbed her shoulder. Amber sniffed, wiping her face with her sleeve as she looked up at us both. “Dom wants a sex change!”

Laine’s eyes widened. “A sex change?! You mean he wants to turn into a girl?”

“He thinks he’s a girl stuck in a boy’s body. He told me he’s a girl, and I just couldn’t get my head around it, so I got up and ran here. God I feel like such an idiot!”

“You’re not an idiot,” I chipped in, “you’re confused. Both of you. It is a shock to your system and you don’t know how to cope with it.”

Amber sighed. “I don’t want a girlfriend! I’m not a fucking lesbian!”

I noticed that Laine winced when Amber said that, but then she continued to stroke her shoulder. “I need to say this. If you can’t support Dom, then you can’t truly be in love with him. They say you’ll support someone you love no matter what. If you really love him, Ambs, you’ll stick by his side.”

Amber instantly looked angry as she shrugged Laine off. “How dare you question my feelings!”

Laine shook her head. “I’m not questioning your feelings for Dom, but you are! I understand it is a shock like Suki said, but if you loved him, you’d be able to see past that! Past being a ‘fucking lesbian’!” And with that, Laine grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the room.

Amber cried even more. “I’m sorry Amber, I don’t know what else I can do. I know you love Dom, and I know it is a shock. Just have a think about what you’re going to do. Dom needs to know where he stands with you.” I said.

Amber nodded. “I’m going to get a shower.”


I was sat in History with Lewis on Monday. It was my last lesson of the day, and I was planning on going to meet Lena and her boyfriend Cody afterwards to go meet one of their mates. Amber and Laine were going to the cafe for a chat. Laine apologised to Amber for going off on one, and they made up. Laine is good with advice, so Amber asked if she’d talk to her about what to do. I said I’d be no help so I arranged to meet Lena.

It was the last few minutes of the lesson. Lewis gave me my pen back. He had to borrow one because his pen split in a lesson earlier today. He didn’t have chance to go back to his room to get another one. “Here Suks. Thanks for lending your pen to me,” he laughed, handing back the pink sparkly pen with the feather on the top. It had been in there since I first started at Estal, but when I realised that pink pens with sparkles and feathers weren’t cool, I buried it in the bottom of my pencil case. I selected that pen to give to Lewis rather than my normal black biro, as I enjoyed the girls laughing at him because he looked like a jerk.

“You are most welcome,” I laughed as I slipped it back into my pencil case before anyone realised it was mine. I was already being bullied enough, so I didn't need to give them another reason to pick on me.

The bell went and we were dismissed from class. Lewis walked me down to the place I was due to meet Lena. I stopped by the stairs leading to the theatre. Behind the theatre was a small snicket which lead to the centre of town, and according to Cody, it was the easiest way to get to his friend Dan’s house. “Well Lewis, I guess your walking duty is now complete. This is where I’m meeting them,” I laughed, “but thanks for walking me.”

Lewis laughed. “Well it was my pleasure. Any chance to get extra time with you is worth it, hey?”

I laughed and nudged his ribs. “They’re over there. You can go now. I’ll see you later.”

“We’ll have to set a cafe date for later this week,” he said as he brushed his fringe from his face.

“Date?” I laughed.

His cheeks burned bright red. “You know what I meant, hah. Besides, we’re just friends Suks.”

I flicked my hair. “I just know I’m irresistible. Anyway, see you Lew.”

Just as I watched Lewis walk away, Lena came up behind me and pinched my sides. I squealed laughing and turned to face her and Cody. “Don’t do that!” I laughed as I wrapped my arms around Lena and pulled her in for a hug. I smiled at Cody who was stood in front of me. He smiled back. We let go and she took my hand as we raced up the stairs, behind the theatre and down the snicket. “So, who is this Dan then?” I laughed.

“He’s an old mate of mine,” Cody laughed as he intertwined his and Lena’s fingers and swung their arms back and forth.

“How come he doesn’t live on campus? Does he go to a different school?” I asked.

Both Lena and Cody laughed and shook their heads. “No, Dan is 38! He left school a good 20 years ago,” laughed Lena as she looked at Cody.

I swallowed. “Oh, okay. How do you know him, then? He’s a bit older?”

Cody laughed. “I get the good stuff from him. He’s my dealer.”

My eyes widened. “You do drugs?!”

“Shh!” hissed Lena, “come on Suki. It’s no big deal, almost everyone does drugs now-a-days. You don’t have to do them if you don’t want. Just don’t mention this to anyone, okay?”

I nodded as we went up three stairs and got to a door. It looked old and battered, and honestly I was surprised it was still on its hinges. Cody knocked twice, and a man answered the door. Dan. He had pale skin and mousy brown hair, along with a bit of facial hair to go with it. His eyes were a piercing green colour, but his whites were a swollen red instead. Drugs, of course. He greeted us politely enough and invited us all in. Lena and Cody hustled in, followed by me, slowly looking around at the beige walls which looked like they could do with another coat of paint. The floor was covered in muck, biscuit crumbs, wine spillages and white powder. We entered the small living room. It reeked like cigarette smoke and stale alcohol. Lena and Cody sat down on one of the sofas, and Dan sat on another. He patted the sofa next to him as an invite for me to sit down. I decided to smile and sit down, because it was so much easier than trying to argue that I wanted to go back to the academy.

They were all drinking pure vodka and doing lines and joints. I sat holding my small glass of vodka as I watched them all laugh and get high. I chugged my vodka. The bitter taste burned my tongue. I felt sick, but I knew that once it kicked in, I’d feel absolutely fine. As they were all laughing and chatting, Dan rolled a fresh joint and handed it to me, along with a lighter. “Do you want one?” he laughed.

I sat, staring at the joint before me. My parents already had my brother getting done for doing illegal things, and they definitely didn’t need me being arrested for doing drugs. I looked over at Cody and Lena, who were making out at this point, touching each other up on the sofa right in front of our eyes. I turned back to Dan, and as I was about to reject his offer, I felt a sharp pain in my lower arm. I looked down to see a needle being jabbed into me, with its contents being pushed into my body. Dan was drugging me. My whole vision blurred, and once the dizziness and illusions had finished, I felt relaxed.

The joint was on my lap, along with a lighter, and Dan was rubbing my back, telling me I’d be alright. He handed me another glass of vodka. I chugged it. He replaced it over and over again, and I’d had so many glasses by the time I finally decided to pick up the joint, light it, and smoke it. It felt so good. I blew the smoke in Dan’s face cheekily and laughed. He laughed back at me. He took the joint from my mouth, inhaled the smoke, and exhaled back into my face. I took it back and locked it between my fingers as Dan smiled and leaned in. He was looking at my lips, then back up at my face, and back to my lips.

I knew what he was doing. He wanted to kiss me. If I’d been in any fit condition, I would’ve remembered how I feel about Lewis and I would’ve automatically pulled away. Instead, I was under the influence of some drugs and a large amount of alcohol. Instead of doing the clever thing, instead of pulling away, I went in for it. I kissed him. His lips tasted of bitter alcohol and the joint we’d just smoked. He wrapped his hands around my waist and slid one under my top. In the moment, it felt so good.

But I’m only 16, and he’s 38. On so many levels, I made one of the worst decisions ever.

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