Undertab: Sans' Tab Adventure

Join everyone's ( not ) favorite skeleton Sans as he goes on a perilous journey to pay off his tab!


51. You May Now Kiss The Tab


Everything was going great, as the convertible sped down many highways and wrecked tons of cars in the process. 

"how about getting some chocolate frostys after dis?" Sans asked casually while they all ignored the screams of bloody murder.

 "What's wrong with MY cooking?" Undyne questions.

 "( alot of things ) ...." Sandcastle didn't know how to answer, so it was an awkward silence. 

 "Ay, let's go shoot up my school." Frisk suggests once their theme song stopped playing for the fifteenth time that day. Everybody gasped at what was suggested.

 "wHY?" Alphys questioned. "I thought you liked your school.."

 "Not really, all the teachers hate me and the students are dumbasses." They reply in an edgy, over the top manner.

 "I could help with that!" Undyne gleefully says while making a right turn. "oK we should almost be there by now. How are you feeling about this Snan?"

 "pretty cool." 


The car parked directly in front of the chapel as Sans and peeps get ready to do some really cool things.

It started getting hot and stuffy in the building as the thirty minute service was finally about to end. Papyrus still looked upon Mr. Squeakers as if it was the son of the gods without blinking an eye.

 ".....And now, as king, I now pronounce you skeleton and-"

 "HOLD IT, PLAYA!" Frisk breaks down the door and began shooting plastic nerf darts everywhere in a frenzy of screaming obscenities and parkouring while the monsters just stood there with the straightest faces in history.

 "666." Sans backed up one of his best memes as THAT made all the other monsters gasp. Undyne and Alphys showed up too as Sans swagalishily strolled up the aisle besides his other friends.

 "Fuck off, Sans." Grillby tells him as Sans walked by him.

 "don't care." He finally reached an angered Papyrus as Asgore seemed relieved about the interruption and backs away so cool actions could happen.

 Papyrus grabbed a nerf dart from the air and snapped it in half. "What the HELL do you think you're doing here, Sans! And why did you have to bring Undyne?"

 "Don't forget I exist." Alphys backed, but was ignored anyway.

 "Papyrus, you can't marry a toy you just met, or any toy for that matter." Undyne tries to reason.

 "You can if it's TRUE LOVE!" Papanna screams back.

 "bitch seriously." Sans facepalmed. "mr. shit- i mean, squeakers has only caused you to be an even bigger douche than in canon, if you ever were that is." 

 "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MEH!1" Paps gave a big sloppy kiss to Mr. Squeakers' head. "See, Sans? now I consider us MARRIED!" 

 "I didn't get to finish my speech-" Asgore started.


 "nooo." Sans thought this was going to end horribly and prepared for failure. He managed to impale Mr. Squeakers on a set on bones as his last resort. Sdcard was about to fire a gaster blaster to end the toy's really short life span and Undyne was going to attack as well.

 "WTF ARE YOU DOING?!?! DON'T HURT MY BAE!" At this point, the monsters who had arrived to watch the wedding began to leave simply because it was the best choice at the moment.

 "It's for your own good." Alphys tried being badass too. Frisk aimed their gun at Mr. Squeakers too. Everyone was about to unleash one of the greatest attacks in history when... a bright light shone in the room and blinded everyone for a short while. When the light cleared, Mr. Squeakers wasn't there, instead it was...................................................................................................................... THE GOBBLEDY GOOKER!

 "ohly sheit." Sans exclaimed in a scottish accent. 

 "Did you miss me?" The gooker assked. 

 "Nobody did." Undyne says coldly.

Papyrus was dumbfounded. "M-Mr. Squeakers? I thought you LOVED ME?!?"

The Gooker laughed. "I never did. Although, you do wear makeup nicely."

He blushed at the compliment. "Why tha-

 "Anyway it's time to die." The Gooker was about to attack when Undyne suddenly gives him one of the strongest suplexes ever!

 "Not my friends, you don't!" The Gooker gets thrown onto the ground and Sans blasts the biggest blast for several minutes. It looked like The Gooker was finally dead.

 "oh hey look there's credits above us." Sans causally points above him as they could see the end credits playing above them.

 "That's cool." Alphys grins and then they carry on.
Papyrus sulked over the body of The Gooker as the other characters began walking off.

 "Let's go get some of those chocolate frosties, homie." Frisk says while smoking a vape in victory. Suddenly, the credits stopped as The Gooker got up and made the chapel door close with magic.

 "nO." With a turkey call, The gang began doing complicated dance routines. Paps kept crying about losing his 2nd love interest, besides spaghetti, but that was another story.

 "D:" Calories were burned as The Gooker laughs so hard that he gets punched in the face.. By Papyrus!

 "You leave my friends alone, you BACKSTABBER!" Papyrus tore off his Cracker Jack ring and began beating up The Gooker. While she had the chance, Undyne hurled a spear at him. Strangely, it went through The Gooker and so did Frisk's nerf bullets.

 "o shit." Sans was equally shocked.

 "Now what?" Alphys questions while getting more anxious.

 "idk." Sans tried to blast or impale The Gooker, but that all failed too! It seemed nothing could work as Sans gave up on his hopes and dreams and went to the corner to die.

 "Kick, Punch!" Papeye the Spaghetti Skelly kept beating his new rival up in a frenzy, somehow nailing every punch.

 "Agh!" The Gooker finally got the upper hand and tossed Papyrus into their supposed wedding cake. He began powering up while marching towards the scared memes. Frisk got close to Undyne in fear as did Alphys.

 "Now that you can't run or retaliate, it's time to finally end this pointless feud!" The Gooker did an extremely loud turkey call as an even bigger reprise of Turkey In The Straw began to play.

 "If you take one more step closer, you'll regret it." Undyne threatened.

The Gooker only laughed at this. "What's the use if not even your spears can hit the O so Great Gooker himself?" 

 "My spears may not work, but at least I can do.. THIS!" Undyne began to wrestle him to the death as Frisk and Alphys watched from the sidelines, complete with bleachers, foam fingers, and cheerleading outfits.

 "GO UNDYNE!" Alphys cheered while doing a cheerleading routine.

 "YOU CAN..... DO IT!" Frisk yells with... uncertainty.

With many a punch and scratch, The Gooker kept on fighting with all his strength, never seeming to get tired as Undyne's stamina started waning.

 "O shit." Frisk sensed the battle was going to end with failure and abandoned the cardboard bleachers to tell their followers on Twitter about what a failure their friends were. Alphys did the same, only with more anime references painfully shoved in.

 "Oh NO!" The narrator cried out hammily. "With our heroes seeming to near defeat, who's gonna save the daaaAAAAAaaaay?"

Papyrus stepped onto the battleground. "ME! For I am the Great Professor Papyrus, putting a stop to your act!"

 ":D" Sans rejoiced as he threw away his 50 page Will and awkwardly crawled out of the suicide corner.

The Gooker sighed, for this battle was being drawn out. "Won't you just die already? At least with you out of the way I can safely take over the city, and soon the world! They will all know who is the best wrestler!"

Alphys got out some popcorn and sat on the edge of a bench. "What a great anime. Oh yeah, Papyrus, I happened to have this, maybe it can help."

A sword straight out of an anime was tossed to Paps and he caught it before posing coolly. "The spaghetti shall never die!" Sans began eating popcorn with Alphys in excitement.

 Undyne looked around for something cool to fight with too, until Alphys tossed over a sword even better than Papyrus's, complete with Undyne's name graven into it. She smiled at this before getting into an epic battle pose.

 "Now let's end this!" Undyne started.

 "TOGETHER!" Papi finished.

 "YEah whatever." The Gooker was going to hypno-dance them again, but the call was interrupted with Undyne slashing the sword across his face. It left no mark, because this was a pg-13 story, and it made Gooker show a sense of weakness. Sans, Frisk, and Alphys leaned forward in anticipation.

 "TAKE THIS, EVIL VILLAIN!" Papyrus heroically stabs The Gooker, who then unleashed brighter lights and loud turkey calls as the villain was finally dead... at least the suit was. The turkey suit fell onto the ground and Flowey weakly crawled out of it.

 "wtf?" Sans exclaimed at the shittiest reveal ever.

 "Is that where you've been all this time?" Papyrus questioned.

 "Top 10 greatest reveals in anime." Alphys comments as Frisk agrees.

 "Maybe." Flowey sarcastically replies.

 "But how does this make any damn sense?" Undyne wondered.

 "....bai." Flowey disappeared as this too long of a chapter ended. The characters began to gather as Papry suddenly hugs Sans.

 "I'm so sorry I was so mean to you, Sans! I didn't know what was happening to me but perhapsItWasALoveSpellOrsomething. Anyway, Sans, can you ever forgive me?!" Papyrus begged. Sans was only blank faced.

 "how about a chocolate frosty?" Everyone groaned.

 "But I wanted to celebrate with Ramen." Alphys suggested.

 "Or maybe pizza?" Undyne suggests too. Frisk puts their arm around Sans.

 "Homie, let's go to that restaurant downtown that has all the good shit including pizza, ramen, and a bar to shoot up."

 "I, The Professor Font Name, wanted to go eat and play games at Chuck E. Cheese!"

"cHoCoLATe FrOSTiEs." Sans insisted. 



( Triumphant music plays as Sans and Co. leave down the street. The Narrator- das me- monologues ) And so our heroes, victorious as they be, settled off to their mediocre routines, complete with a trip to Wendy's. How do I feel about this? I say, this Tab Adventure is just getting started, and there's more to come, so sit down, there's more to offer, minus the rhyme scheme, and sudden medieval theme.

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