Undertab: Sans' Tab Adventure

Join everyone's ( not ) favorite skeleton Sans as he goes on a perilous journey to pay off his tab!

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40. Overly Inspired Tab

( insert a really cool and edgy saying that only school yearbooks do )

 

Sorry for the wait for an update, but i had this really bad sinus infection. Its all good now so don't worry. Here's the next stupid chapter to make up for my absence.

 

It was another day at Dillards as we skipped over the breakfast scene since nobody cares what ramen flavor Alphys ate that morning. Sans was hella past tired as he sloppily stocked the shelves with the shittiest fashions possible.
 "Looking good there, Sans." Metatton compliments as Sans was tossed a single penny. That penny equaled his entire pay for the day.
 ";_;" He kept stocking shit as a confused customer approatcheth.
 "Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the sizes for my bae?" The woman asked.
Sans stopped stocking and turned to her. "wtf u sayin, bruh?"
 "I just want to know where size 54 M is." Sans couldn't properly comprehend what was being said, so he just pointed to the tween section and the woman thanked him and went there.
Sans had already sweat all he could sweat from these ridiculously hot temperatures Metatton claimed would get the employees to work faster. All it did was make everybody feel like they were trapped in the hottest sauna the city had to offer. His skull klonked onto the floor as all that was on Sans' mind was making money suddenly appear using a cheat code like something out of a game having to do with simulation and pool ladders.
The latest Dillard's catalog was thrown at Sans. Snoss looked up and saw Metatton. "Get the fuck up, Sans. I'm not paying you to sleep on these newly waxed floors all day!"
 Just as Sans was going to fire back a meme-worthy line, the Seinfield theme played, signalling yet another commercial break!

( After Commercial )

It was now about lunchtime, which was great, because Metatton would finally give the employees a five minute lunch break WHILE in the Dillards. That gave the workers little choice to choose from since there was only one nearly broken vending machine in the back which had shit nobody ever wanted like Rice Krispie treats and those gum packs which only had one stick in it. And plus most of the staff were broke anyway, leading most of them to not even do lunch breaks. But Sans did!
 Sans pulls a Lunchable out of his ass and began savoring the nacho chips along with the sauces.
 "yummy." He comments as if he was the most famous Youtube food critic ever. 
Metatton strolled around nearby with a stopwatch in his hands. Sans was about to devour the KitKat bar that came with the Lunchable but then the stopwatch rang and the chocolate bar melted. 
 ";-;" Sans mourned over the loss of his precious delicious.
 "TIMES UP! NOW GET BACK TO WORK!" Metatton went over to Sans. "Since you clearly can't stock for shit, you're going to be on Makeup duty."
Sans was confused, because he was Sans, you see, "wtf is a makeup duty?"
He got slamdunked onto the makeup counter in front of a large paneled hd television that played over budgeted Metatton music videos filmed by Patrice Wilson (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrice_Wilson).
 "THIS is a makeup duty. Now do it." In an instant, Sans got dressed in a really tacky makeup consultant outfit in the gaudiest pink and sparkles possible. He flooped behind the counter and waited for customers, which didn't take long since Dillards was a popular retailer. A group of women wearing expensive cred came over.
 "Omfg, Staci, is that the new cherry berry lipstick from the new Estee Lauder collection?" A blonde prep picked up the lipstick and immediately began applying it to her lips that were oversized from taking one too many duck lipped selfies.
 "Yeah, GUUUUUUURL! Check it out!" The gals transferred all the bacteria they had onto the once perfectly perfect stick of lipstick. Even Sans felt sorry for the poor inanimate object. In the blink of an eye, Sans got pelted with 120$ perfume bottles and other cosmetics and stopped daydreaming about stupid things.
 "are you, uh, ready to check out?" Sans glanced down at the ancient cash register that looked straight out of the 1300s.
 "YEEEESSS!" The really fat prep yelled. Then she made a noise comparable to a baboon-hyena hybrid in heat and freaked most of everyone out even Metatton. "OMFGSISTAS I just realized i got a coupon for NINETY PERCENT OOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFF!"
 Sans sighed respectfully. "take your time."

TWO HOURS LATER....

Due to the shitty internet reception at Dillards ( Metatton didn't understand why anyone would be using the internet in a shopping retailer so he got rid of it ), the "coupon" took too friggin long to pull up and by now a line had formed all across the store. The customers had waited so long in the line for makeup that some even set up amateurish camp sites.
 "Anybody want a marshmallow?" A guy asked on a plastic log bench holding up a stick with a charred marshmallow on it. His camp mates were all attempting to roast theirs on a fire stolen from a Play-doh Campfire Picnic Playset and combined with one of those shitty five cent portable heaters that did more harm than good.
 "oh my god HURRY UP ALREADY!" one of the customers groaned way too audibly.
The beached whale from two hours ago then shows Sans her phone. "Found it~"
"um ok.." He awkwardly takes the phone and tries scanning it with his cheap scanner. As you would expect, it wouldn't take it. But then he noticed that it had expired 15 years ago.
"sorry miss, this coupon already expired over a decade ago." The woman gets really pissed off and pounded her fist into the glass counter so hard it caused the indestructible glass to shatter.
 "I! WANT! MY! DISCOOOOOUNT!" Sans didn't know what to do as he awkwardly stared at the grown woman throwing a tantrum in front of the entire store. Her friends stood by like robots and did nothing else. The customers started getting even more furious because of this bitch's attitude and began to riot with whatever they could find. Some used their inexpensive sleeping bags, some used clothing racks, and at least one person actually thought a coral blue #5 crayon would cause serious damage.
 "o no what do i do." Sans seriously worried. At least someone was here to help!
 "Don't worry, Sans, I'll escort these women out." 
 "gasp. asgore?" He could barely believe it. But then again, dumber things have happened in these last 30 chapters, so who am i to say?
Asgore only looked at the troublemaking gal pals. "I apologize, but due to your friend's behavior, you'll all have to leave the store."
The fatty only looked back up at him from the filthy floors with tears in her eyes. One of her friends with a stereotypical look of a very misinformed feminist tried defending her. 
 "Don't you dare try to sexually assault my friend, you asshole! If you even lay a finger on her, then I'm going to rightfully sue you in court!" She delusioned.
Asgore picks up her friend anyway. "I'm just following manager's orders."
He started escorting the still sobbing whale out of the store as her femininazi friends chased after him and tried retaliating with sissy slapping and many more lame excuses for combat.
 "wow." Sans could only say as Asgore came back in, looking more relieved now that the troublesome customers had been removed.
 "Indeed." He then left before Sans could say anymore, but in earshot, he could hear Metatton praising him.
 "Well done, Asgore! You're getting a two cent raise after how you handled that situation back there!" 
Sans then remembered his financial crisis and frowny faced. A glitterly anvil was thrown at his face and Sans fell backwards onto the floor once again.
 "Hey buddy, are you going to actually ring us up or just stand there?" Sans was brought back to reality as he got back to being overworked.
 
 

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