The accidential Hacker

Harriet is a struggling painter.. One day she accidentially hacks into someone computer and it turns her whole life upside down

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49. Showing her heart and hiding it again

 

 *Harri POV*

'My darling Zachary,

I know this is not the same as talking to you, or even the same as a letter. But it

will have to suffice, and you'll have to bear with me as I do not have your way

with words.

When you get this l will be on my way to Louisiana as I promised. I have

thought a lot about what I want with both my head and my heart. I desperately

want for you to be a part of my future. To be my husband. To be the father of

our child.. hopefully children.

Some things have changed though, and you need to know. I have signed a

contract for my own art show, and I've signed on for a nationwide tour. I have

worked too hard to miss out on such an amazing opportunity, and I know you'd

be disappointed if I didn't accept.

As said before, you don't hold me back, you hold me up. When I'm on top of

everything, when I'm shining, and when I don't think I can stand any more. I

understand what you do, and I don't ever wish you didn't. You have no need to

apologise or feel guilty for leaving when you need to, just as I don't and won't.

This works, Zac. We were making it work and we were both thriving in what

most couples would find an impossıble sıtuation.

We are equals and we are a team. If you need me, I will be there, and sometimes

I will worry that you're not looking after yourself, just as you have done in the

past for me. And I know if I need you, you are there. That's where my

confidence was built, you gave me that. Knowing you would be there no matter

what I thought I could take on the world. Now I know I can do it on my own,

and I'm glad, it makes me feel stronger to know that if it has to be, alone I am

enough. I would rather not be though, I want to share it with you.

I'm writing this because I wasn't sure what you were going to say, and while I

mostly feel strong, the thought of hearing you say it's over is more than I can

stand. I'm not sure I can bare my soul and turn up on your doorstep in the hope

that you still want to have me.

So here it is. I will be staying at the Hilton and I'll be in the bar at 6. If you've

changed your mind, I won't see you there, and there won't be any hard feelings.

I'll wish you all the happiness and success in the world. This way I don't have to

hear you say the words, and I can bid you farewell. I'll go back to LA and

collect my things before you get back.

I love you so much my darling Zac. I hope to see you this evening, but if not

remember always that I love you.

Love, Harriet'.

 

It is almost 10 am and I am ready to leave for the airport. I click on Send and realise the lead weight has returned to the pit of my stomach. I hope that by tonight it will be gone. Either way this time tomorrow I will be checking out of the Hilton. The uncertainty is terrifying. I send a text to Mike asking him to make sure Zac looks at his emails, and her phone ring

"I meant to call you first thing. You've seen it already, haven't you?" Mike sounds on edge.

"Huh? Seen what? I just sent Zac an email and he needs to see it as soon as possible, and I know you're with him." I say confused.

"Oh. Uh, there's photos from last night. Remember how easily things can be misinterpreted and taken out of content. Keep that in mind. There's nothing going on, it was just a friendly kiss and they've neglected to mention that Rodney and I were there. OK? If anyone asks, you know Zac and Elizabeth are just friends. You don't need to say any more than that, and I'm not sure what you would say anyway". He is rambling, very unlike Mike.

I sit down on the bed and says softly. "They're not just friends though, are they, Mike ? It wasn't just friendly, was it." 

"Kate, it's comp- he wouldn't cheat on you, you know that." He says.

"It's not cheating if he's already made up his mind, is it! Is there something there or not?" I ask, needing to know.

"I'm not in his head, so I don't know. There certainly is from her side, and there might be from his. It's hard to say." He says, making me covere my mouth with my hand.

"Go in to Zac's emails please, and delete mine." I say halfway in panic.

"Kate, I can't".

"Yes, you can. Be my publicist, save me some dignity, and delete the email. Now." I am begging him, Zac can't see that mail.

"OK. Hold on." I can hear him typing in Zac's password and clicking the mouse. "Done."

"Thank you. Can you come and see me tonight at the Hilton? I'm going to need some help sorting some stuff out." I ask, fighting the tears.

"OK. Are you OK?"

"No. No I'm not."

I hang up and sit in shocked silence. It's over. It's really over. He has someone else. The words repeated over and over in my head. I fidget with my necklace before taking it off and putting it in to the small zipper compartment in my bag. My Louis Vuitton bag, another gift from Zac. The bag. The necklace. The bracelet. I don’t realise I am crying until Ben knocks on the door. He had driven me home to pack and was taking me to the airport.

"Did you send it?" He ask, searching my face. All I can do is shake my head. "Why not?"

She take oot my phone, knowing a quick Google search will give me the gossip from last night. And it does. Without reading it myself I hand it to him and he sit down, clapping his hand over his mouth. "Nah, Harri, he wouldn't. You know he wouldn t."

"I know there are mutual feelings there and the only thing holding him back is me. That's enough. We're done." I say shaking my head.

"Are you sure? How do you know?" He asks.

"Mike". I say sob. "I asked and he told me. If he's noticed there's something there, it must be pretty fucking obvious".

"I'm sorry sweetheart. You were so calm about everything this morning, I really thought it was all going to work out." He say, rubbing my back.

"So did I". I whisper into my hands.

 

 

 

 

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