Secret PenPal - A michael fan fic

Written in y/n's point of view!

You have been builed since you started high school and there was only one person to blame; Michael. Everyone follows his lead and thinks he is sooo funny.
Luckily for you, you don't need anyone else but your best friend... until one day you write a song lyrics from a very unknown band on your table in the math class and someone continues the lyrics the next day. The messages on the table becomes small notes and you are bounding with this unknown penpal on levels you could never imagine. The person brights up your day and you help each other through troubles, but who might this secret pen pal be? (story is posted on tumblr as well under the name Calmimagines)


9. Chapter 9

You couldn’t sleep that night. It was horrible and it was like your whole body was itching. You couldn’t find peace before you got your answer. You sat up and reached down in your backpack for your notebook. It has been a long time since you had been writing in it for real. It was only been stressed doodles. Too much thinking and too little getting it down on paper. Or you could say that you have been writing more than ever, but on small notes under the table in math. You sighed by the thought about the table and at the same time your alarm started going off. You hadn’t closed an eye so you walked kind like a zombie around your room to find some clothes that would fit perfectly to public humiliation. You went to school in your car without music which was a thing that you hadn’t tried in all the time you has had your car. There was always music around you when you were driving, but at that time you didn’t feel like it. You felt sick and wanted to stay home and be in school at the same time. So many fixed feelings was going through you.

Kate dragged you to your first class and to the next. You knew that she was going to the same classroom as Michael in that moment, but you didn’t dare to remind her to keep an eye out on Michael. You didn’t want to know how his face looked like in the moment where he found out that his secret pen pal was you, if he really reacted the way that you thought. You couldn’t concentrate at all. You could only think about that Michael has to be reading and perhaps replying to your letter in that moment. You couldn’t do anything but wait until the class was over. You sat the whole class and tapped your pencil on the table staring at the clock until it was finally lunch. You hurried down to your usual table and Kate got there a few minutes after. If Michael was going to look for you, he would go to the table you were always sitting at. You tried to act normal and eat some of your sandwich in small bits and humming in the right places when Kate talked to you but you where nervously looking around you every few seconds. Where was he? When the lunch was almost over and you hadn’t seen him you could feel your stomach start to hurt. Was he not in school?

You walked to your math class in a fast pace to get there in time, because you waited until last minute to see if he came. But he was nowhere to be seen. Laura was already sitting at her table ignoring you like usual and the teacher walked in right behind you.

“Y/n please find your seat.”  Mr. Harris said after closing the door behind him. You walked to your table and in the process of sitting down you felt under the table after a letter. Maybe he didn’t get your letter. Maybe he wasn’t really in school and stayed at his grandmas. But there was no a letter under the table. He had taking your letter but did not write back. He hadn’t tried to find you at lunch either. Which could only mean one thing; I was thinking hard and long about how to take his revenge on you. You were sure of it.

You felt sick all of the sudden. You clutched to your stomach and found you notebook in your bag. You nervously started to draw circles on a page while pretending to look at whatever your teacher was writing on the blackboard. Michael was mad at you. You could imagine how the anger was written in his face and was shooting out of his greyish eyes. It felt so passive aggressive that he had taking your letter with him and didn’t leave a clue for you how he was feeling about the whole situation. Not even Jenna was looking at you or giving you dirty glares so he couldn’t have been talking to her about it either. As the class was about to end and you all packed your things together you heard your teacher call for you.

“Y/n can you stay after class? Just for a few minutes.”  Mr. Harris said as all the other students heard it. Everyone turned around to look at you, clueless of what you could have done and you felt exactly the same way. You hadn’t done anything. You grades weren’t that bad. Finally Jenna shot you a nasty look before exiting the classroom and you were left along with Mr. Harris. You took your bag with you and stood in front of him as he leaned over his table on his elbows.

“I know you and Mr. Clifford has been sending notes under the table for a long time now.” Mr. Harris said loud and clear.


“You have been sharing notes under the table. It’s very hard not to notice but with the grades you both are getting in my class you should focus more about your studies than sending secret notes to each other.” By this point you were sat with open mouth and stared at your teacher. He had noticed it all? But you almost always made sure that he wasn’t looking when you took out the notes.

“So y/n no more notes, okay?”

“Yeah sure.” You said to him. You were pretty sure that Michael didn’t want to talk to you again anyway.

“But let’s make a deal. I have the last letter from Michael in my drawer here and if you promise me that you will get your grades up in the next test, I will give it back to you.” Mr. Harris said calmly but you were almost screaming inside. Michael left a letter anyway? There was actually a letter from Michael nothing more than a meter away from you? You looked at Mr. Harris table and bite you lips.

“Okay.” You said to him.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow y/n. Remember the homework.” He said leaning back in his chair again.


You had to get to that letter as soon as possible. You had one more class before you were off for the day and it was the same with Mr. Harris. This meant that you had to go into the classroom after everyone else left. But Mr. Harris always locked his classroom before he left. You had noticed. You hurried out on the girl’s bathroom because there wasn’t time to find Kate before your next class, so you had to call her. She was the only person that could help you get the letter.

“y/n?” Kate asked confused.

“Kate I need your help after the last class. We have to get into Mr. Harris classroom. He took my letter from Michael and it is in his drawer in there. I need to know what the letter says.”

“Really? Can’t you just find Michael and ask him?” She said almost in a whisper. She must already be in class.

“You know I can’t do that. I’m too big of a pussy. But Please Kate pleeease!” You begged her.

“Okay fine. I’ll think of something. I’ll meet you at your locker.”

“You are the best!” You insured her and hung up. You hurried to your last class which could only go too slow. You had to get to the letter so you could prepare yourself for whatever was coming for you.


You were standing at you locker when Kate came running. Literally running up to you.

“Y/n! I got the best idea, but we have to be quick.” She looked so excited about the whole situation that you almost felt positive again just by looking at her. She started to walk towards the entrance of the school.

“Explain please. We are walking away from the classroom.” You pointed out to her.

“We have to get a key but Mr. Harris has his own key, right? So we have to get a key from the school secretary. I think I have seen the keys hanging in the back of her office behind the counter. “

“She will never give us a key without going with us. And if she goes with us I can’t just take something from Mr. Harris table. She will see that something is off.

“But if we go to her office and I distract her with something, you can get the key, run down and get the letter and then run back with it again. It’s simple, right?” She said and stopped to look at you. You were pretty sure that you looked horrified.

“Are you nuts? It sounds like you have been watch to action movies.”

“But it will work! Trust me! Come on!” She said and pulled you with her. Here goes nothing, you thought and followed your friend.


You neared the secretary’s office and Kate walked in and left the door open.

“Hello Mrs.” She said to the secretary that was sat behind the counter to the left of the door. She was and elderly lady with grey hair and the biggest butt on the school. She was not easy to move around, so you had to sneak past her somehow. Luckily for you, she couldn’t see very well either.

“Can I help you with something?” The secretary asked Kate and Kate leaned over the counter.

“I think there is a mistake in my schedule. I went to the wrong class today but it did say drama on the schedule. Can you fix it?” Kate smiled at the old lady while you were standing right outside and waited for Kate to give you a sign and walk behind the counter.

“Let’s see. What is your name, dear?” The secretary asked.

“Kate Fitzpatrick.” She said. The second the secretary turned to her computer in the corner she winked you in and you started to crawl along the floor and stopped to look around the counter. The only thing you noticed was the secretary’s huge butt that was facing your way. You were about to crawl in behind the counter when the secretary turned around to face Kate again.

“There is no Fitzpatrick in the system, dear.” She said calmly.

“Oh yeah! Riiiight. My mom remarried and I took my stepdads name. I’m a Nielson now.” She explained. You tried your best not to laugh because it was a big fat lie but you kept quiet until the secretary turned around to face the computer again. You took the chance and eyed the board on the wall with all the keys hanging and spotted the key with the same number there was over the door to the math class. You counted to tree and jumped up quickly, took it, and got behind the counter again before the secretary again turned around.

“There isn’t any Nielson in the system.”


As soon you got outside the office you ran like your life depended on it through the empty hallways and up the stairs to the math class. You stopped outside the door to catch your breath before settling the key in the keyhole and opened the door. The classroom was kind of dark with the curtains for the windows and you wanted to keep it that way. Maybe people would see the light and notice that someone was in there. You took out your phone and used the screen for light as you approached Mr. Harris’ table. You laid your phone down and started to look through the first drawer and opened all the folded papers. Apparently you weren’t the first one to send notes in class, because there was a few random notes with simple sentence on like ‘Math are boring’ ‘Yeah it sucks!’. But not your letter. You opened the next drawer and started to look through it when the light suddenly went on.  You stood up fast as light and turned to whoever that just entered the room.

“Are you committing a crime here?” Michael said with a smirk and leaned again the doorframe. He was wearing his usual flannel and tight black jeans. The green hair was pointing in every direction that was possible.

“Why are you even here?” Was the only thing you could make up. You didn’t want him here. Not when you didn’t know what was in the letter and how he had responded.

“I called your name when you ran past me in the hall but you were running like someone was chasing you and I guess you didn’t hear me.”

“Nah I’m practicing for the school marathon.” You said jokingly. It was a habit to be sarcastic every time you saw his face. You couldn’t stop it.


“No. I’m not. Running is the worst. I hate it so much.”

“Sooo… what are you doing?” He said smiling and came closer to you to see what you were looking after in the drawers.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” 

“I was on my way home when you ran past me.”

“People actually run on purpose sometimes. I don’t understand that.” You said randomly to avoid the question. You could not explain to him why you just broke into the classroom.

“I know I’m not the biggest genius in the world, but I get the feeling that you don’t want to answer my question.” He said smiling at you. Stop melting y/n, you thought to yourself. If you didn’t hurry up, Kate would kill you. You had to get back with the key. You started to look through the drawer again while trying not to care that Michael was looking at you.

“Did you change your mind?” He suddenly asked. You looked up at him.

“About what?”

“You wrote back to me and now you are trying to take the letter back what you wrote? Did you change your mind?” He looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at you. He looked serious and you hated it. He just stood there with his hands planted in his pocket and looked at you. Waiting for you to answer. He knew you were the letter writer and it scared you to death that he was standing there, when you didn’t know what was in his letter.


“No what?”

“No I didn’t write back. I mean… I would have, maybe… But Mr. Harris stole your letter, so I haven’t even read it.” You confessed.  A smile spread across his lips.

“Really?” It sounded like it amused him and that’s when you realized that he had the advantage here. He knew that you liked him, but you didn’t know if he liked you.

“Michael, please don’t make fun of me while I’m panicking here.” You said and started to go through the drawer another time.

“But it’s funny.” He said giggling a little.

“Can we make a deal? You leave me alone until I have found the letter?  Then we can talk when I have read it?” You said and opened the third drawer and started to search through it.

“Y/n.” Michael said your name and laid a hand on the table in front of you. You tried to ignore him.

“Just wait.”

“Y/n!” He said again and walked behind you and laid his hand on your shoulders so he could spin you around. You were now facing him and you were closer to him, than you thought.

“You don’t have to find the letter. I can tell you exactly what it said. I have reread it a million times and I wrote it myself, so I should know what it says.” He explained. This was what you wanted to avoid. That’s why you left a letter instead of talking to him directly. You were not use to this kind of contact with someone like Michael. Letters was safe and you could be yourself. In person could end up in you saying something wrong or awkward.

“I’m scared.” You said.

“Don’t be.” He said and cleared his throat.

“Now listen. Dear y/n.  I have known you were my secret pen pal since your fourth letter several weeks ago. The morning after I heard you drive into the school while listening to Split really really loud. A band that we may be the only people in the universe that knows.

“What? You have known for that long? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you hated me.” He said shrugging.

“I had the same reason. You hated me as well. I thought that if you knew who I was, you would stop writing back… And what about Jenna?”

“What about her? I told you that I’m not with her.” He said rising his eyebrows.

“Does she know that?”

“Well she asked me out and I said yes. I gave her a chance but I don’t like her.”

“But she knew that we were writing. She was ready to use the letters against me.”

“She did? I kept the letters in the glove box in my car. Maybe she found them. I swear that I didn’t show her our letters!

“It’s okay.” You said blankly. Your mind was racing and you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation with Michael.

“Now sssh, I’m trying to read you a letter from my mind here! Where were we… Oh yeah… I was surprised when I found out that it was you, but the more I thought about it, the less I was surprised. Then I became frustrated because this amazing girl that I felt a connection with in the letters was the only girl on this school that wanted nothing to do with me.

“Really? The ONLY girl on this school?” You said sarcastically. You couldn’t help it!

“Stop interrupting my letter! If you were reading this yourself, you would not have been able to interrupt it all the time.”

“I would definitely have stopped at this part and laughed.” Your comment made him laugh which resulted in your heart racing like crazy. You were still standing so close to each other, that you were afraid that he might be able to feel it too.

“So… I thought that maybe if you learnt to know me though the letters without knowing who I was in real life, you could eventually look through me mistakes in the past. So here we are…” You waited for him to continue but he didn’t he look at you.

“Was that it? ‘Here we are’? Is that how you ended the letter?” You asked confused.

“There might be a PS.” He said.

“A PS? We have never used a PS in our letters before.”

“I felt like it needed one.” He explained.

“It does indeed need a PS.”  Michael giggled again and let his hands move from your shoulders and down to your hands as he moved in closer.

Ps. I really really like you. A lot.” He almost only whispered in the end but he didn’t have to speak any louder because his face was so close to yours by now.

“That’s… That’s a good PS.” You mumbled while trying to catch your breath. He was so close that you could feel his breath against your skin, which only made you stop breathing. Ironically.

“For our first PS, I think it’s pretty solid.” He said into your lips before you finally connected. He tasked like mint gum like he had prepared for this. His hand moved from your hand to your back so he could press you further against him. You stood on your tiptoes to reach around his neck with your arms so you could deepen the kiss. It was too wonderful. It fell so good. So real! Why haven’t you done this before now? His breath was warm and sweet and his kisses so intense that you couldn’t see yourself live without them from that moment. Suddenly you last a bit of balance and you stumbled a little back and hit the drawer you were looking through the moment before. You were thrown back to reality. Your brain was like pudding but something told you that you had something to do. OH SHIT KATE!

You gasped and pulled away from him.

“Are you okay?” He asked worried.

“I’m fine. I just… I forgot… Kate! Shit! I have to go!!” You said and twisted your way out of his arms.

“Y/n?!” He called after you as you ran to the door, took the key out and ran down the hall again.


“I’ll drive, you talk.” Was the first thing Kate said to you, when you had delivered the key back to the secretary. You totally forgot that you had to deliver it back secretly, but your brain was not working with you, so you threw it on the counter and said that someone must have dropped it somewhere, so you could take Kate away from there. The glare she gave you when you walked away with her told you that she was close to commit murder.

“I’m sorry.” You said as soon you were sat in your car.

“Why? What happened?” She said leaving the parking lot.  A smile spread on your lips.

“Nothing… or a lot actually. Michael showed up. He saw me run down the hallway and followed me.”

“And?” She asked impatient.

“And he knew that I was his pen pal. He had known for weeks, just like me.”

“So you say that both of you were just dumb and stubborn?” She snorted.

“Yeah basically.”

“Then what? Tell me the whole thing!” She said hungrily. It was the first time that something like this happened to you. She was the one that had to do with boy and had boyfriend and you were just there with your music looking from afar. You could hear that Kate has been waiting for a long time for this to happen.

“Ermh well. He recited his whole letter which had memorized, because he wouldn’t let me find the letter in Mr. Harris drawer. He basically said that he was afraid that I wouldn’t like him if I found out who he was in real life and when he realized I was doing the same he was relived. Then he told me he liked me and he kissed. Then I ran because I remembered you were still distracting the secretary.”

“Wait… WHAT?!” Kate suddenly screamed. You were sure that if she has had something to drink, she would have been spitting it out. She looked furious.

“You ran away from him? To get to me? Are you stupid?” She yelled at you. She had a hard time focusing on the road.

“What was I supposed to do? One minute more and I’m sure you would have found me yourself and stabbed me with a pencil!” You said panicking. Did you do something wrong? Did Michael hate you now? Kate was about to explode in your face again, but something on the road distracted her and she slowed down. That’s when you noticed that you were at your home, but there was already a car in the driveway where your car was supposed to be. Leaning against that car was none other than Michael Clifford. When he saw your car he stood up and waved.

“Okay. As a punishment I’m taking your car home with me now. You don’t have the time to drive me home anyway. I’ll be back with it tomorrow and I want to know everything! Everything!!!” She said and raised a finger of you.

“Are you kidnapping my car?”

“It’s for your own best. Now go out and jump in the arms of prince charming.” You did as she said and the second you closed the door to the passenger seat she stepped on the gas pedal and drove off. You watch as our car disappeared around the corner.

“Did she just take your car?” Michael was suddenly standing beside you and was watching in the same direction as you.

“She said it was for the best.” You explain without actually explaining anything, because he didn’t know what you had been talking about.

“Aha.” Was all he said. You stood there awkwardly for a moment. You didn’t know what to do or what to say.

“I’m sorry?” You tried and finally looked up at Michael. He was already looking at you and reached out for your hand.

“What for?”

“I left you in the classroom.”

“I’m sure you had your reason. Can I come in with you, or are your parents home?”  You blinked a few times to process it all. He was really understanding.

“Ermh, I think they are home but it doesn’t matter.” You said and blush a little. You were about to lock Michael into your house. Your Room. Michael started to pull you toward the door and first then you remembered that he had just locked fingers with you. You were holding hand. It felt so good and natural. You skipped the introduction to your parents and went straight to your room. He looked around for a second and nodded at the bandposters he liked and sat down on your desk chair. You sat across from him on your bed and waited for him to talk.

“So… I don’t have you number. And I really wanted to see you. So I just… showed up.”

“I’ll give it to you, so I can be a bit more prepared next time.” You said and looked around your room that was a little messy. It wasn’t that bad but while you were sat on your bed, you had to push a bra under your bed with your foot.

“I really like you room. It’s cozy. It’s like I imagined.” He said looking around again.

“You imagined my room?” You asked surprised. He gave you a smirk before he looked down at the floor. Was he blushing?

“Look it’s just… You had you reason to leave today, but I’m still a little confused and I’m not sure… what we are?” He stood up and sat down next to me on my bed.

“Do you think that I just run around kissing people for fun?” You said, sounding sarcastic as always.

“I don’t know what to think of you. You constantly surprise me. I actually thought that after your last letter you would be going around school and be looking for me, but I didn’t see you one single time.”

“Did you honestly think that I would walk around for hours searching for you?”

“No. That would be boring… and weird.” He said leaning against you.

Oh! That’s was other girls would have done? Like Jenna right? I’m so sorry.” You realized that maybe other girls would have done a greater effort to actually get the boys attention.  Michael just laughed.

“Don’t be. I like the fact that your whole life doesn’t revolve around boys. Around this.” He said and pointed between you two. You grabbed his finger.

“What do you mean about ‘this’?”

“Us.” He simply said.

“I like ‘Us’.” You said and you could feel yourself blushing like crazy.

“Me too.” He said and kissed your hand that was holding his finger before he leaned in and kissed your lips again. It was something you could easily get used to.

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