Secret PenPal - A michael fan fic

Written in y/n's point of view!

You have been builed since you started high school and there was only one person to blame; Michael. Everyone follows his lead and thinks he is sooo funny.
Luckily for you, you don't need anyone else but your best friend... until one day you write a song lyrics from a very unknown band on your table in the math class and someone continues the lyrics the next day. The messages on the table becomes small notes and you are bounding with this unknown penpal on levels you could never imagine. The person brights up your day and you help each other through troubles, but who might this secret pen pal be? (story is posted on tumblr as well under the name Calmimagines)

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8. Chapter 8

You felt so bad after that incident with Michael that you completely ignored him as much as possible. You walk along the walls at school and looked around corners to make sure that he was nowhere to be seen. Kate just followed you and was looking weirdly at you but didn’t ask. She knew you were weird and was living with it. That’s how friends should really be and you were grateful. But after a week you couldn’t do it anymore. You saw him around corners and ran the other way but noticed how he often stood there staring into his locker or out of the window. He looked really sad and you wanted nothing but to run up to him and hug him from behind even though he was a complete idiot that didn’t know how to treat people right. But perhaps in his mind he actually did people a favour. Maybe he actually believed that he had done something good when he started to call you a tree-kisser. It made you feel so bad that when you got off the last class you found Kate before she went home and dragged her into your car. She went with you voluntarily and talked the whole way home to your home about clothes and this now dress she wanted to buy on your next mall adventure.

As you arrived at your home you went to your room and threw yourself into the bed and screamed into your pillow. That made Kate shut up and she sat down next to you and patted your shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“Kate, I’m so confused.” You finally said when you had to leave the pillow to get some air. You had started crying again. You actually kept it in the whole ride home.

“About what?” She asked and crossed her legs on the bed, which meant she was in full listener mode.

“Okay you know those notes I have been writing with Michael, right?” She nodded. “Well the thing is that I never really stopped writing him, even though I said I would. I tried. I really did. But god… He is so irresistible on paper and he made me feel normal for once and we have shared so many things. But he also told me a secret about how he feels when he is home. His parents are fighting and his mom is leaving from time to time and he is so sad and it kills me.”

“You have feeling for him, don’t you?” Kate said with a careful smile.

“Yeah. I think I have feelings for that asshole.” You confirmed. Which felt good to finally say out loud.

“What about James then?” She asked. You knew how happy she was that you finally gained some confidence to talk to James and she liked him too.

“Well I actually talked with him about it last week after the date. But he was cool about it and still wanted to hang out. He didn’t feel the spark either. It would have made it all so much easier to go back to normal, but then Michael came and actually comforted me and then I went back to being even more confused.”

“Wait… Michael was at your date?”  Kate asked surprised.

“Well not really. He was at the mall with some friends and stopped when he saw I was crying.”

“But why where you crying? You haven’t you told me this before?”

“Because I’m utterly and totally confused! I hate him but I like him. I don’t know what to do! So I was crying because I felt stupid and sad because I kind of want him but we hate each other. The worst part is that I know he feels horrible at home and after I yelled at him and almost shoved him out of my car at his house.”

“Michael was in your car? This is getting weirder and weirder.” Kate said and lifted her hands up like a defence. 

“I know. We made a deal about peace between us for 30 minutes and I actually cried on his shoulder and he just let me do it. I eventually had to drive him home because his friends left.”

“y/n, that doesn’t sound like a guy that hates you.” Kate said as you sat up. She crawled across the bed and sat next to you so you could rest your head on her shoulder.

“I know. That’s why I’m so confused Kate.”

“You know what? I think you should write one of those letters and tell him who you are.” You looked up at Kate and she actually looked dead serious.

“You don’t think he would be disappointed to find out it’s me?”

“Who knows? It doesn’t sound like it, but if he is disappointed I will kick his ass because you are really too good for him.” Kate said and hugged you into her side. You gave in and laid your arms around her as well. You hoped that Kate was right because you were going to confess.

-----------------

 You tried to be as ready as possible the next day. You were determined to actually tell Michael that you were the one he had been writing with all the time. You walked into the school and he was standing right there and was talking to some of his friends by his locker. Your throat got dry and your heart started pumping faster and faster so in the end you hurried to your first class without even looking back. You would never be able to talk to him about this. You had to do as Kate said and leave a letter for him in math class. So you ended up walking around like a zombie trying to think about what exactly you should write to him and soon enough you were walking to your math class. Laura was not there yet so you hurried and took the note from under the table out that you knew were there, because he kept writing to you about his music and how his day went the day before, even though you weren’t writing him back.

So I actually ended up staying at my grandmas yesterday. She makes the best mashed potatoes ever! It’s just so far away that I have to get up super early to actually get to school. Sometimes I don’t think it’s worth it, but then I remember that you actually read my notes and I may help you work through whatever is bothering you, since you don’t feel like writing. Well I hope that it’s you that takes the notes. But you should be the only one who knows where they are.
Anyway I found this cool band the other day when I was watching music videos on YouTube. It was recommended for me by YouTube so I’m sure you will love them as well. Though I think I will keep the name of the band to myself until you answer me someday. I don’t want to share my epic music taste with anyone but you.

You were so drawn to his letters. His imperfect handwriting that was caring these sweet words that meant more to you than you wanted them to. You didn’t even realize that class had started before your teacher said your name and you were forced to hide your note faster than light, because everyone’s eyes were on you and you haven’t listed at all.

“y/n?” Your teacher Mr. Harris said again and pointed to something on the blackboard.

“Ermh… I don’t know?”

 “Are you even paying attention?” Your teacher sighed and gave you that look that tells you that he was too tired of your shit.

“Ermh… no.” You said honest and finally opened the math book on the page that Laura was on. Your teacher finally gave up and asked someone else. When people were done staring at you and thinking what a loser you were when you couldn’t even answer the question on the blackboard, you tore of a page in your notebook and started to write.

Dear Michael.

Yes I know who you are and I have known for a while now. I was delivering some papers for Mr. Harris once in your class and saw you read my letter. I was shocked at first and after that... horrified. But I have come to know you through the letters and it has brought me a lot of joy. We are so similar on so many points and still so different. You are a person that both challenges me and understands me. Then I came to know you a little outside the letters and I was shocked again. In a good way of course.
I hope you will write back to me or else I have to force myself to be brave and actually say this to your face. And not we come to the part where I tell you who I am so I can scare you away forever.

Y/n y/l/n.

You read the notes at least 15 times before you tucked it under the table. Your head was heavy and palms were sweaty when you left your math class. Kate was waiting for you at the entrance of the school when you got off.

“Did you talk to him? Or did you write him?”

“I wrote a note.” You said when she linked her arm with yours.

“Sooo… Tomorrow at lunch time?” Kate said knowingly.

“Yeah. Tomorrow at lunch time I will either be humiliated in front of the whole school or maybe talk with Michael like we are both humans.” You said and sighed.

“Or the third option, you could end up having a boyfriend!” Kate said a little too excited. Michael ? Your boyfriend? That sound like a joke when you heard her say that. But it felt kind of right when she mentioned it. Though you thought that you would be more than lucky if he wasn’t going to humiliate you in front of everyone in the cafeteria and maybe even copy your notes and hang them around the school. Maybe even burn them at a party. Who knows.

“You look a little pale. I can feel that you need a smoothie at the mall.” Kate said and you didn’t even want to object. You had to get your mind of Michael and the letter that was burning under the table in your math class.

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