Secret PenPal - A michael fan fic

Written in y/n's point of view!

You have been builed since you started high school and there was only one person to blame; Michael. Everyone follows his lead and thinks he is sooo funny.
Luckily for you, you don't need anyone else but your best friend... until one day you write a song lyrics from a very unknown band on your table in the math class and someone continues the lyrics the next day. The messages on the table becomes small notes and you are bounding with this unknown penpal on levels you could never imagine. The person brights up your day and you help each other through troubles, but who might this secret pen pal be? (story is posted on tumblr as well under the name Calmimagines)

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7. Chapter 7

You didn’t write him back for days. You were too afraid and you felt that Jenna was watching you through the whole math class, but when you looked up, she was looking at the teacher or on her phone under the table. Was she even looking? And was she writing Michael under the table. You wished you could do that, because Michael was so sad in his last letter you read. He needed you more than he needed Jenna and he didn’t even know. Even though he may think that the notes are from her.
You sighed and looked up at the blackboard. You hadn’t paid attention at all and were already so far behind. Stupid Michael! Why did he have to be so irresistible? Him and his awesome music taste and sensible side he didn’t show anyone but you in the letters. The letters… You knew for sure that there was a note under the table in that moment you were sat there. You reached up and felt the note that was folded a few times and stuck under the metal of the table. The only thing that was unknown to you was its words. Michael’s words. You had to read it. You had to. You looked at Jenna who was focused on her own phone and her friend Laura that was sat next to you was almost asleep so you took it and unfolded it in your lap.

I hope you are well. It’s weird to write with yourself like this. I feel kind of like a loser but I don’t think I will stop, even though you aren’t writing me back. It still feels good to write things down. To get it out on paper even though you read it or not. I still miss you though. I wish I wasn’t so afraid to tell you who I am, because our conversations is really what I need and it would be so much better if we could just talk.
Yes I’m actually starting to doubt these notes. I didn’t see that coming either, but when you stop replying me, I have to do something else I math and I really don’t want to do math. So I did some thinking instead. I have heard it was dangerous but I thought I wanted to try it anyway.

How can he keep up with the joking even though you didn’t reply him? And he said he missed you and kept writing notes even though you weren’t replying to them. Your heart shattered in thousand pieces. He really like the letter you so much. How could he be with Jenna then? Was he really convinced that she was the letter writer? No that couldn’t be, because he wrote that he was afraid to show the letter writer who he is in real life. That means that… He is with her intentionally and not just because of the letters. You sighed and put the letter away in your bag. You didn’t leave a reply even though you wanted because it all just made you even more depressed. He thought that you would hate him if you knew who he was; well guess how disappointed he would be if he knew that he was hiding from you? The person he has been picking on for so many years now. When you packed and walked out of the class you looked back through the door and saw Jenna walk towards your table. Probably to see if there was a letter hidden somewhere.

You didn’t want to deal with her and hurried outside to where you and Kate used to spend your time outside class. You threw your bag on the table and sat down. You were looking for Kate amount all the people that were coming from all the classes when James came through the doors and was heading toward his usual table. Then you remembered how fun you had with James at the concert and how he could make you forget all the Michael drama for a little while. Why not let him distract you again? You manned up and strolled over to his table. He looked up and hurried to take his headphones off when I saw you. The force only made his hair even messier and it was adorable.

“Hey y/n.” He said as you sat down next to him.

“Hey James. I was thinking that maybe we could meet up tonight? See a movie or something?” You felt weirdly okay asking him out. You were not at all nervous anymore.

“Sure why not. I have heard there is a new movie with Johnny Depp at the moment. He could catch that and then eat in the mall afterwards?” He said smiling at you. You knew that smile should have made you melt inside but didn’t have the same effect as usual. Though you smiled back at him.

“That sounds like a plan! I’ll meet you there at five?”

“Positive.” After his reply you caught eyes with Kate at your table and you said goodbye to James with a quick hug and walked over to sit with her.

“Did you just…?” Kate asked with her jaw hanging near the ground.

“Yep. We are going out tonight.” You said calmly but it kind of hurt inside. You should feel happy and excited. Not feel like it was a thing you needed to do. This was distraction, but you wished it could be more. It had to be more!

“You are so cool all of the sudden. What happened?” Kate said and hit you playfully on the arm. You just shrugged at her.

                                           ---------------------------------

James was already stood outside the cinema inside the mall. Like always he was wearing his headphones and was nodding along with the music. When you walked up to him he took them off and gave you a quick hug.

“Are you ready for some Johnny? He is one of my favourite actors. ” He asked.

“Sure thing. He is awesome in Pirates of the Caribbean.” He paid for both of you even though you insisted to pay for your own and through the whole movie you leaned over and whispered about all the cool scenes. You would have enjoyed it so much more a few weeks ago. Having James that close would have killed you slowly if it wasn’t for this pain in your stomach that told you that he wasn’t the one that was meant to sit next to you and that made you incredibly sad.

When you came out from the cinema you had to find a place to eat and you dragged yourself through the endless conversation about the movie you just saw and the good movies that James wanted you to see. It wasn’t that you weren’t interested but you slowly realized that James was nothing but a distraction and it wasn’t working anymore. So when you were at your car you had to stop it, before James got the wrong idea from you.

“We could go the skaterpark? I have some friends there who could lend us a few skateboards. I can teach you?” He said and pointed to his own car. You sighed and closed your eyes for a second. You had to tell him. Anything else would be bad.

“You know what, James? You are such a nice person and I really like spending time with you. But I have to admit that I feel like I’m using you. I’m trying to distract myself from another person and you have been so sweet to me and I understand if you want me to pay you for my ticket and dinner now.” You blurted out and stood there and waited for his answer.

“That’s totally okay. I like hanging out with you, but it’s also more like a friend. I too have someone I’m kind of trying to distract myself from. So I know what you are about.”

“Wait what?” You quickly said, trying to process what he was saying.

“It’s okay, really. We can talk tomorrow then?” He said. He was still smiling like there was no tomorrow.

“Sure.” You said in shock and kind of relived that you didn’t have to pretend any more. You gave him a quick hug with one arm and he left in his car quickly after. You walked to your car and stood there, looking out on the half empty parking lot. Why couldn’t you just like James? Nothing sounded complicated with him. He understood you and liked the same things like you. Michael only understood you on paper. You looked down at your feet when you could hear a group of guys coming from the mall.

“Hey tree-kisser!” You heard someone call. A very special someone. You didn’t look up because you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of you reaction to that name.

“Hey! Didn’t you hear me?” This time Michael was so much closer and you finally looked up at him. He was wearing a denim jacket and black jeans. His hands were buried deep into the pockets of his jacket. He was smirking at you when he came almost running but when he saw your face he had a serious expression.

“Are you okay?” He suddenly asked. You didn’t realize that you had started crying before he made you awkwardly aware. You dried of your wet cheeks in your sleeve.

“Go away, Michael.” You hissed at him. He was the last person you wanted to meet at this point and when he looked at you like that… It made him even more irresistible. That idiot.

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you right now.” He sighed and leaned against your car.

“Me neither. Go with your stupid friends. I’m sure they are waiting.” You sighed in relieve when Michael got up and walked towards his friends that were waiting at their car. He talked to them and to your surprise he didn’t enter the car. His friends left without him and he placed his hands in his pockets again and walked towards you. You just stared at him with your bloodshot eyes and waited for him to say something stupid because everything he said was stupid. Michael was stupid and annoying… But you still liked him so much.

“Let’s say we take a break in hating each other. Maybe half an hour? What do you say?” He said smiling at you. Not smirking. He actually didn’t look like a jerk. And then he did something you didn’t expect of him. He opened his arms for you and stood there waiting for you to react. Stupid Michael. Stupid stupid Michael, you thought to yourself before you threw yourself into his arms and let him hold you. You started ugly crying into his jacket you were clutching yourself against. Why did he smell so amazing? Why did he have to be so… Michael?

You didn’t know how long you were standing there, but Michael kept holding you until you were done crying and your mind was more clear. You wanted to go back to hating him. It was wrong to let him hold you like that. You let go of Michaels Jacket and stood back. He slowly let go of you too and you were just standing there for a moment before you could speak.

“Thank you.” You said in a whisper.

“Did James do this to you?” Michael asked which startled you.

“Excuse me?”

“I just saw you two together so I thought that maybe he broke up with you or something.”

“We were just seeing a movie. We never dated or anything really.” Why did you explain this to Michael? You didn’t have to.

“Oh so he didn’t…”

“I don’t really want to talk about it, okay?” You didn’t want to tell him that he was the reason why you were crying. Because he made you angry at yourself and absolutely confused.

Okay… okay. But we still have some time left before we go back to hating each other and I need a ride home.” Michael laughed a little and it sounded like he was a little nervous.

“You want me to drive you home? Really?”

“Well I told my friends to leave. They were my ride home.” Michael gave you a little smirk. Not enough to make him look like a dick like usual. You looked around on the parking lot and his friends were indeed long gone. You sighed and lock up the doors.

“Get in then.” You said got in.

-----------------

“Where to? Your house or Jenna’s?” You said a little sarcastic, when you backed out the car.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I thought that now you were dating her you would spend a lot of time at her house.” You said and snorted. The whole idea of them together made you want to throw up but on the other side you didn’t want to drive him home when you knew he was miserable there.

“We are not dating.”

“Does Jenna know that?”

 “She is not my girlfriend. She just happens to like me. A lot.”

“Mmh she only want to be seen with you because you are hot.” You said sarcastically.

“You think I’m hot?” He asked laughing but with raised eyebrows.

“Doesn’t every girl?”

“You are not every girl.” You heard him mumble. You could feel the heat in your cheeks so you tried to hide your face by shaking your hair so it would fall down in front of your face. You had to say something, or this would get awkward.

“It’s a fact, not a compliment.” You explained.

Because if you gave me a compliment, you would get a stroke?”

“I’m pretty sure my head would just explode because of the extreme  pressure of lies.” 

“Didn’t we agree to not hate each other for half an hour?” He said laughing a little. You were watching the road, but you could feel his eyes on you.

“Sorry. It’s a habit. I can’t help it.”

“Why do we even hate each other? Why do we fight so much?” He asked. The question shocked you and when you looked at him, he had a serious expression like when he saw you cry.

“Are you serious?”

“What do you mean?”  He actually sounded confused. What a douchebag.   

“You have made my life a hell every day since the day we started High School by giving me that name and everyone is laughing at me at PE.”

“What name?” He asked stupidly. You widened your eyes. He couldn’t be serious.

“Tree-kisser!! You have called me that for over 3 years!”

“Oh that? That’s only a little fun. Don’t you remember? I saved your ass that day because people were laughing at you. I gave you the name so they were laughing with you, instead of at you. It’s just a thing now.” He leaned back again and shrugged. You were silent for a moment.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“How should that be better? The name is stuck with me forever now and it’s really hurtful. I don’t want to remember that day because that was the worst day of my life and you are keeping the nickname alive by calling me it all the time. Even the freshmen are calling me it once in a while.” You almost yelled at him. You drove up in front of his house as you were telling him off.

“I was just trying to help, you know. I gave you a nickname and I got an enemy for life? I really thought I did something good.” Now he was almost yelling as well.

“Guess what, you didn’t! You only made it worse and I have to live with that every fucking day.” You were close to slamming your hand down in the steering wheel. You closed your eyes for a moment. You were right outside his house and you were yelling at him but you couldn’t help it. He was the one that started all the bullying but now he came and said it wasn’t what he meant with it. And now that you were his secret pen pal you knew that he was hurting himself and you didn’t want him to leave the car and enter that house. The whole thing just made you even more confused and even though it made you feel bad, you had to make Michael leave before you said something too hurtful.

“Please get out of the car.”  You said through gritted teeth.

“I guess the 30 minutes is over.” Michael said and opened the door. You were a mess because you actually caught yourself reaching out for him but took your hand to you the second he turned around and looked into the car again.

“I’ll see you later y/n.” He said and patted your cars roof before he closed the door. He actually called you by your name without sounded sarcastic. When he had closed the front door to his house you let out a loud frustrated sound and hammered your head down in the steering wheel so the horn went off. You immediately looked towards Michael’s house where the curtains in the first floor went to the sides and Michael looked out. It looked like he went straight to his room even though there were light in the bottom floor. You hurried to start the car before he got any ideas.

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