Queen Regina the IIVth

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  • Published: 27 Apr 2017
  • Updated: 17 Feb 2018
  • Status: Complete
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5. Anna of Cleves


Anna of Cleves was number four

She reminded me of a hor(se)

She was so ugly I couldn't bear

So I asked her for a divorce

Gave her the title

The Queen's Sister

And she went on her way

I still haven't seen her to this day

I fell in love with Anna of Cleves from a portrait that was sent to me. The whole court was trying to get me to marry and give the nation a king. I on the other wanted to experiment.  Anna was a nice princess in the letters but at our wedding, I immediately knew this wasn’t going to work. At the altar I stood in my wedding dress and waited.The wedding shocked the kingdom but that had to know, after three men; I wasn't going to go back to men. 

“Do you Anna of Cleves take Queen Regina to be your wife?”

“If it pleases the Queen.”

“Do you Queen Regina take Anna of Cleves to be your wife?”

“Yes, I do take her to be my wife.”

         We shared a peck on the cheek and went off to our wedding night. This woman was gullible and weak. She didn’t even open her robes. I got out of bed and slept with Mary in her room that night. The next morning I went directly to Parliament and told the kingdom one thing.

“I cannot consummate my marriage to Anna. I feel that is wrong because she clearly just wants to please her queen. She’s afraid that she’ll displease me and I’ll murder her. Darling Anna, I won’t do that. You will receive the title as the Queen’s sister.”

You would think after three failed marriages to men and one failed marriage to a woman; you would think I would stop. No, I'm a lover by trade. 

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