She is despised. She is loved.

Why did she do it? She was liked. She was pretty. So the question remains. Why did she do it. For all the strangers that went to her school, read about her in the news or online the answer remained a mystery. But for the people close to her she made sure that they knew every single little detail. And this time everyone would believe her because why would a dead girl lie?

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1. fragile

You heard about her? Yeah everyone has. But I knew her. I fact I was her bestfriend. But then she was gone. It had gone to weeks and I still hadn't understood the fact that she was gone. Lia Myers was gone. The last two weeks I hadn't worn makeup and had been quite as a rock. Today I felt different and put on som mascara, foundation, bronzer and eyebrows. It was time for school. I never really knew what to expect from the day. I had other friends but It felt like a completely different situation without her. She was the perfect friend, adventures, risky a bit crazy and sassy but she always cared about me in a way that made me feel safe. She would never leave me at parties no matter how drunk I was, she would always defend me and be there for me in my worst times. This wasn't fair.

None of it was.

I walked in the school doors and immediately everyone was staring. I guess they were surprised that I had spent some time on my appearance. Whatever. Blake walked over to me and took my hand "hey babe you look great today" he said and walked the halls with me proudly "yeah thanks, do you have my math book" I responded with a fake smile. "Oh shit sorry I forgot" I said looking down at his phone not really caring. "Dammit Blake you know I'm going to get in trouble" I said letting go of his hand. "Geez I said I was sorry" he said looking at me upset for letting go of his hand. "Whatever, catch you later" I said walking away. This was the 4 time he had forgotten my book and if I turned up to class without it I would get in trouble so I decided it was best to ditch. As soon as I stepped out of the building i could feel tears forming in my eyes. Dammit Ociana you can't handle anything. I thought to myself. Ever since Lia killed her self I've felt vulnerable like fragile porcelain that could break at any given moment.

"Ociana!" I heard someone yell. Shit. I have tears down my face, no one can see me like this. "Yo wait up" the person said while I sped up. I felt a hand on my shoulder Turing me around "shit girl ur fas.." he trailed off when he looked at my face "oh is everything alright?" He continued. "What do you want max?" I said. Max wasn't hard to look at. Caramel hair just a bit darker then his beautiful skin tone, his tall masculine body had some astonishing tattoos. But his eyes where the best part, bright blue. To bad he was a total douche. "I saw you were ditching and was going to take you on an adventure" he said winking. I gave him a glare and he picked up "until I saw you crying and then I decided that I'm definitely taking you on an adventure." He said grabbing my hand dragging me to his car.

What the fuck. He really didn't understand my glare. I and max had an history. We are neighbours and he always used to sneak in to my bedroom and we would stay up all night drinking vodka and talking. I used to know him inside out. I was crazy in love with him. One night he came in my door, I was crying on my bed thinking about my mom. He saw me and laid next to me and comforted without a single word. He knew me so well that was exactly what I needed. We fell asleep like that, stroking my hair, in his arms. The next day I walked in to his room ready to go out but my smile quickly faded when I saw him making out with a pretty brunette. I remember it like it was yesterday. my heart, my poor heart. I stopped talking to him, started locking my doors. He tried talking to me at school but I snapped at him. The next day my bestfriend was dead. I never felt so alone. In desperate times I became Blakes girlfriend, he helped me trough Lia's death but I didn't deserve him. I don't love him, he deserves to be loved. The day after, max and Blake got in fight. I told max to never talk to me again. That I hated him, how dare he touch my boyfriend I love Blake and he just had to deal with that. That is what I told him, it was all lies. But I couldn't feel. I had an empty feeling in me, it had been like that ever since.

"I'm not getting in" I said when we were Standing outside the car. "Please. Just this one time" he said looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "God dammit" I said to myself and could feel him smirking. "No I'm walking home. I told you never to talk to me again" I said determined. Walking off. I couldn't hear any footsteps following me. Great. I walked for a while until a car stopped in front of me. Max jumped out "get in I promise it will be worth it" I just looked at him for a while, then without a word I jumped in the car. He looked confused then his signature grin appeared on his face. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled... like the old days.

AN// Hey people I started writing this and honestly I already have the whole book planned out. Please let me know if you would like to hear more of this❤️ it would mean a lot! Xxx

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