Past, Present, Future

2017: Hey 2016, how are you? I hope you're alright.
2016 is typing...
2016: I want to die. | Find my letters to my past and future self. | Cover by NamesFromGraves |


5. Moving Upward - A Letter to Early 2017

Dear Early 2017,

Hey there! I'm November 2017! We haven't spoken in a while, and I know there's a good reason for that. But look! We made it to November! You passed all of your exams twice, you made it through literature, and now you're moving into Year 11! How awesome is that?! I'm trying to find a certificate course I can do for next year - I'm doing VCAL, crazy, I know - and I'm hoping I can find a language course online, something like Spanish or Auslan, but so far we've had no luck. Doing an online music production course isn't going to do shit, so we'll see what happes I guess.

We're even looking into getting me therapy soon - I still need to really talk to mum about that.

Guess what, early 2017 - you're not a girl! I know, I know, it took a while to realise, but right now I'm going with quoigender. Amber told me about that term, and for now I think it fits! It means that you can't comprehend gender and can't tell whether you experience it or not. Maybe this is because you don't actually experience gender, so you haven't nothing to compare it against! Looking back now, I can't imagine actually understanding what gender is. It's weird.

I miss Amber. I know that she's not doing so well at the moment, and I feel like a really bad friend for not being able to do anything. I just... can't find the right words to help her out. I feel like if I try, I'll just make it worse. But goddamnit you need to try your best to be a good friend to her, no matter how far apart you are.

And Tayne - Tayne is actually engaged! I got to meet Harley recently, they're really nice, and they're both so good together. They love each other so much. I was a little bit worried at first, they moved so quickly, but I'm not really worried anymore. I hope I get to see Harley again soon.

Your family is coming up for Christmas! How cool is that? You little twinning cousin that you only see once or twice a year is coming up to stay with you for Christmas. That's amazing.

Damien split up with his wife, and I think he has a new girlfriend now. He's not coming for Christmas. I'm going to miss him, it's the only time of year I get to see him, and now I won't see him until next year.

You get to go on a performing arts camp, you'll celebrate your sixteenth birthday there! Sixteen, holy shit! And it'll be with Julie and Sarah! God, Sarah will idolise you forever. Take care of her - no matter how annoying she can be, you know you love her. Michael too.

It's a nice day today. Most of my class is on camp, but we couldn't afford to go. I've been sick, anyway, but I'm nearly better. Damned hayfever. But sitting outside does make me feel better - maybe I should go on a walk this evening.

I can't think of much else to say, so just know that you can do this. You can pull through this and you'll come out stronger than ever on the other end. You've made it this far, after all, don't you dare give up now.

With love,
November 2017.

PS: Why the hell didn't you listen to Hamilton sooner, you idiot? Goddamnit. At this point I know more about American political and historical figures than I do about Australian ones, and I don't regret a thing~

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