Review Store

Need a story reviewed? Want someone to tell you what they thing? Need constructive criticism? Here's the place for you!
*O P E N*


4. SnowPotato_ - Chance

Chance sounds like it could be really beautiful! I'm going to be writing the review as I read, since that way it can be as thorough as possible. The first chapter has a miscommunication. At first, it says that she was named two months after she was born, but it goes on to say that she was barely 15 minutes old. After reading the context, you can see why it says that, but at first I was very confused. Also, during the period where everyone is fussing over her, and her aunt points out her head, I would try to not use 'OMG' because it seems very strange, as a thing to say then. I understand the lack of age/knowledge from her aunt- but I feel like even if she was young, she wouldn't feel the need to say OMG. I do like the idea of them not naming their child straight away, to be completely honest. Where it says 'I think, all this time, I missed an important part, of both this story and my life Amina Kent.' it doesn't seem to make sense. If you take out the final comma and put some sort of punctuation or phrase in front of 'Amina Kent', it will make a lot more sense.

I really do love the back story for it, though. 

For the second chapter, I'd take out the bit at the top about skipping it. The chapter is crucial to understanding the next few, especially for certain point. Chapter two definitely tells us critical things in the understanding interpretations of the story.

Chapter three is short, but good. No grammatical/spelling errors that I can really see. I like the way she still enjoys home; regardless of what is going on outside of there.

The fourth chapter starts with some nice jokes with family, and ends up taking quite a dark turn, but it fits the story and keeps it progressing.

Chapter five is very imaginative. It is very well written, and very realistic. I do like the idea, and I do like that she's considering telling someone. 

Chapter six doesn't have any mistakes, but I do like the way she puts herself into a dream to distract herself from what's happening around her. 

The last chapter is kinda creepy- actually. I enjoy the return of the mirror girl and I enjoy the way that she is harsh but caring. I can't wait to see how this turns out!

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...