Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.

We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


50. Chapter 049



It took me a good twenty minutes to transfer Katie to her bedroom. At first she was sleeping well and I just laid her on the rocking chair to begin to gather her things. But as soon as I turned my back to her resting body, she started to cry. So, for about ten minutes I had to rock her and get her to calm down. I wasn’t intending to put her back to sleep, I just needed my little girl to relax.
Finally, she did. I held her as I got all of her toys together and we soon made the trip to the other side of the house. I never put her down though, she can’t walk properly yet and I just worry too much about her getting hurt, even if I’m holding her little hand. Eventually, I got all the lights turned off in the house, Katie put to sleep in her normal crib in the room beside mine and Em’s, and lastly I was about to get myself ready to go to sleep.

I was gentle with my movements as I pulled the cover back and got into bed. I covered myself back up and move closer to my side where Emmy still laid sleeping silently, peacefully. She hadn’t moved since I left earlier. Carefully I slide my arm between her head and the pillow, I know she likes to rest her head on my arm.
Next, I find her hand and lace her fingers with mine. My other arm goes around her torso, pulling her closer to me. I press my lips against the back of her head, making sure I don’t forget that good night kiss, even when she’s not awake I still give them to her.
The room is dark and cold, I thought I turned the heater on before I shut all the lights off downstairs but I guess I forgot, besides Katie was distracting me a little anyways. I snuggle up closer to Emmy, making sure my body is completely against hers. Her hair is a little damp, and her skin soft as usual.
I felt better already, just having her beside me in my arms. I love the feelings she gives me, even when she’s not doing anything. Hopefully, she’ll feel better tomorrow and things can get back to normal around here, well as normal as it gets. I’m not going to work in the morning, I was debating it earlier but I’m assure now. Emmy needs me, and I have to take care of her or else it’ll kill me slowly, painfully.
Maybe the three of us can lay in bed all day and just have a slow day. I’d rather be at home doing nothing then be at the office doing important stuff.


“Alright baby girl.. Daddy’s got you now, so stop that crying.’’ I say as I pick up Katie from the crib. She automatically begins to stop sobbing and rests her little head against my shoulder. She’s so precious, I love her so much. Her little arms wrap around my neck and she whimpers against me, she’s still waking up from her slumber.
Last night was one of the few that she’s sleep all the way through, it’s nearing nine in the morning and I am still shocked that she slept this late. But I don’t complain, that’s more sleep I get too.
“Don’t be whiny, princess.’’ I tell her as I turn off the light and shut the door, turning down the hallway towards the stairs. I left Emmy asleep, I don’t want to disturb her this morning. Plus I’ve planned to cook a small breakfast.
All Katie really wants in the morning is flavored applesauce and Cherrios – which is perfectly fine for me. I might not even cook, I might just eat some cereal. I don’t know, I’ll decide once I’m in the kitchen.
My little angel is growing up too fast, she’s eating more and more solid things every week. It seems as if we’re getting her to try new things every other day. It’s crazy, it’s out of hand. It’s too much. She’s growing up.. and I don’t like at all.
“Da da.’’ She mumbles into my ear. I smile gently at her cute little words. “Hmm?” I ask her as if she’ll spill her questions to me. Not just yet.. “Ba ba.’’ Katie replies. I know exactly what that means, she wants her bottle and won’t take anything else besides it.
“Alright princess, Daddy’s gonna fix you a bottle in a minute.’’ I assure with a kiss against her temple. She lies her little head back down and patiently begins to wait.

“Ba ba!’’ Katie demands as I have my back to her, the milk jug waiting for me on the counter. “Give me a second, baby. I can only go so fast.’’ I remind her as I fill the bottom a third the way with the milk. Emmy insisted we go slow since this transition to cow’s milk is a big step for a baby.
So next I fill the bottom up with slightly warm water, just another third. We don’t completely fill the bottom though, we want her to make this change slowly and well, making sure there won’t be any issues with it.
I put the top on the bottle and shake it up a bit, mixing the milk and water. Katie holds her little arms out, squeezing her hands into fists and back out – telling me to give her that damn bottle before she begins a tantrum.
Once I reach her I hand it to her and she sticks it in her mouth, tilting it up to start drinking it. Her hands are still a little unsteady, so the bottle begins to wobble in her hands, but she knows if she wants to drink out of it she needs to hold it still.
She’s really smart for her age, I love watching her do things on her own. It hurts me a little, knowing that my baby girl is growing up.. but I believe the feeling of being so proud of her overpowers the pain. I can’t resist a smile as I watch her in awe, she’s so beautiful.
I don’t even want to imagine where I’d be without this little girl in my life.



Sorry for the short chapters.

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