My days.

Well, this is mostly ranting about things going on in my life. I do ask for advise from anyone reading so if you may, please do try to help me out.


32. #32 December 12, 2019, Thursday 12:00

I'm nervous.

Okay so catch-up time. I got into a mentally abusive relationship with this guy called Jonathan for four months until I met my current non-abusive boyfriend Joseph. So he was able to make me see (along with my mum) that Jonathan was an abusive scum and I didn't deserve to be treated that way. So after I broke up with him he still tried to keep contact with me even after I blocked him on both his phone numbers through Google Docs. He's stopped as of now (Thank Divinity) and now I'm dating this guy Joseph. He treats me like I'm a queen honestly and I feel like I don't do enough for him in return. It's almost Christmas and I can't figure out what exactly what to get him. I'm making him a stocking filled with things, so far I have a small teddy bear and a snow globe because he said he liked snow globes a couple weeks ago. Our One Month just passed on the ninth. He has treated me with nothing but silliness, respect, love, and gentle touches and caresses. I haven't smoked or drank or even harmed myself since we started dating, which I did in my previous relationship with Jonathan. Joey hates Jonathan and I can agree. Jonathan called me a mistake, an accident my parents were forced to take care of out of guilt and I believed that for the longest time. I'm just now getting over it because Joey constantly says I deserve nothing but happiness, nothing but respect and love. He understands my past decisions and knows what's happened.

My biological father is dead.

He was there with me through the heartbreak of that. He talked me through it and made me feel better, though it still bites at me occasionally but he's there to make it go away. 

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