*Smutty stuff in here* This is just about me and my most recent dating and sexual experiences. Honestly, it's a lot of failed relationships and a lot of sadness but it's my life so idk.


14. Update

So, reading back through the previous entry makes it seem like I kinda regret having sex with the way I typed it out, which is definitely NOT the case.

It's been a few days now and I don't regret anything about it. I really like Stan and I think he really likes me. I'm glad that we had sex for a couple reasons.

1- I've never really been comfortable with how I look, but knowing someone can see me naked (or mostly naked because I still had my bra on) and still like me makes me feel better about myself.

2- The fact that him and I still text after doing that means that he wasn't just using me for sex (which I wasn't really afraid of, but it's still good to know.)

3- It wasn't as awkward as I've read about, since apparently a lot of first times are awkward. Stan was not a virgin before hand, I think he said he'd have five or six partners before me, and yes, I felt like that was a lot, but I didn't let it bother me. I thought that it felt good, and it was nothing like I thought it would be for my first time.



And no, I don't think that I'm a whore. I talked to two of my friends about what happened and both of them tried to read me the literal definition of being a whore. I just felt sort of...slutty because I had only known Stan for about a month (it might've even been a month exactly) and I had had sex with him.

I don't feel that way anymore, thank god, and I'm glad I don't because then I'd feel guilty about how I feel now.

Because I really really want to try it again, but this time, I don't want to jerk him off or blow him before hand because I want to see how long he can last.


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