*Smutty stuff in here* This is just about me and my most recent dating and sexual experiences. Honestly, it's a lot of failed relationships and a lot of sadness but it's my life so idk.


15. Help

Okay, so the other day at school, my school dads (one if 47 and the other is 52) gave me the sex talk because I, for whatever reason, mentioned that I had never received ‘the talk’ from either of my parents.

It basically started with me showing them a picture of Stan and them saying someone like ‘oh, he has tattoo.’

And I was like, “Yeah, I love tattoos. I find them really attractive.”

“Well, do you like all his tattoos?” Mike (the forty-seven year old) asked me.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“So you’ve seen all his tattoos?” I nodded again. “Are you sure?”

I chuckled awkwardly and was like, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“So you’ve seen all of him then,” Mike said, sounding very father-like.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Just trying to judge how far you’ve gone with him, and if you’ve seen all of him then you’re moving way too fast.”

Now, I should mention that my other school dad named Courtney was sitting at the table, but he was on the phone and he was adding in comments every once in a while. Another guy that I barely knew (he’s like 28) named Mark was there, and he was digging in for dirty details and saying things like, “So have you two knocked boots already?” and “Did he keep his socks on?”

I was mortified.

Thankfully the conversation changed for a little while (like ten minutes of them pestering me but I kept saying vague things like, “Don’t worry, I’m being smart.”) and then Mike started back up and I went and sat across from him.

“Okay, for all intents and purposes, you can be my dad right now. Ask me anything, and I’ll be honest with you.”

Mike went straight in for the kill. “Have you had sex with Stan?”

“I don’t want to answer that,” I said immediately.

“You said you’d be honest,” he countered and I let out a sigh.

“Yes, I have.”

It was Mike’s turn to let out a sigh. “I just think that you’re moving way too fast,” he told me.

“Well, before Stan, I was a virgin, and I really like him.”

(Just so you know, this isn’t the conversation verbatim, I’m just typing out the bits and pieces of what I remember.)

“Just use condoms, even if he doesn’t want too, and just because you’ve done it once doesn’t mean you have to do it every time that you’re together.” Mike continued to lecture me and as awkward as it was, it made me happy to feel cared about. I would die before I’d admit to my dad or my sister about having sex a month into my relationship, especially for my first time.





So the last time I saw Stan was on Monday, and now it’s Sunday and I still haven’t seen him. We haven’t really talked much, or, well, Snapchat messaged much (because that’s how we communicate) because his phone was shut off so it only works on wifi. And he’s been working. But, I told him on Friday that I missed him and that I wanted to hang out soon and he’s text response was something like, ‘Well I didn’t get paid today and I probably won’t get paid until the 20th.’


Am I really supposed to go like three fucking weeks without seeing him?!?

And I just messaged him, asking if he could hang out tomorrow and he was like, ‘I have work from noon to seven.’ And yes, I know, work is important, but he’s worked every day since I last saw him, but at this point I just feel like he’s lying and he doesn’t actually have to work. I feel like he’s just avoiding me.

And him and I are adults, so we could like go out for breakfast before he works or go out to dinner after he works, but I don’t think that he wants me to pay even though I have zero problem with it.

But, like, I just want to cry. It’s been almost a week since we’ve had sex and I haven’t seen him since then, so what if that’s all he wanted from me?

(Simi, if you’re reading this, please don’t start not liking him. I’m sure that this isn’t the case, I’m just really insecure and I don’t know what to think.)

I’m just annoyed because I want to hang out with him, but it never seems to work out, and that makes me sad. I’m allowed to be sad because I really like him and I want to hang out with him again. You know, he’s my boyfriend, and I’m allowed to miss him.


Just, please you guys, I need some advice.


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