The event changed everything, but a story can’t have a central theme unless there are walls to support it, roads that take you there and on, because I can’t just give you a fact and you understand it fully until I explain it. So here it is; I love Harry Styles, but the roads that I take you on to understand may not be one’s that you really want to travel, so heed the signs on the barren roadsides, and understand. I’ll tell you about the days, thirty before and thirty after, encompassing Harry’s attempted suicide.


57. 19 days after

19 days After:Amy Lee bounces up and down in her seat, pressing her face against the window of the airplane."We're flying!" she squeals, and Heather laughs."Have you never flown before?" Harry asks her, and my eyes snap to him, to the simple peace within his voice. I don't know what he found while he was away, but I hope maybe he will share it. I want to know about a place where a broken, finished man can go to and return as his former self.Then I feel his fingers brush against mine purposely, and I must contradict myself.A better self."I never got the chance to!" Amy Lee all but screams; the flight attendants glare at Heather, so she grabs her daughter's hands and whispers, "This isn't even the best part. We all have a big surprise for you! But you have to go to sleep first. When you wake up, maybe we will be there."Amy Lee studies her mom's face and promptly falls against the window, emitting loud, theatrical snores that slip into real one's within minutes."Is this safe?" Harry whispers, once we know for sure she is out. "Louis told me they said any day….""Which is why we need to chase life before it leaves, instead of sitting and waiting for death to catch up to us," Heather replies solemnly, and we watch the clouds together in silence, and I still feel Harry's fingers rubbing against mine.

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