Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*


71. ✗ sixty-nine ✗


30 January

She's late. 

The stubborn, precious little baby who has been given me horrid Braxton Hicks' pain for the past month decides that she'll just wait. It's only been three days since her due date, but I'm impatient. I want to meet her, after so many stressful months I just want to finally hold her in my arms and kiss her over and over. But I can't help but also feel fear.

I hate my parents and everything about my childhood and I will do everything in my power to make sure that my daughter never has to go through that. But I still have my doubts on how well I will do.

I want her to be successful, but what if it comes off as control or a "crazy mum"? There are so many things that I wish for her to accomplish, as I never did.

I want her to learn a second language and an instrument, like piano, at an early age. I was never fully taught a second language, but there would have been so many opportunities for me if I had. I could have utilized that skill in the workplace and traveled abroad with Harry to be an interpreter, or I could have helped out around the office with foreigners.

I want her to have some sort of extracurricular, whether it be dance or football, really anything she wants. My only extracurricular activity that my parents, or nanny rather, forced upon me was riding horse. When have I ever utilized that in my life? I haven't and I absolutely hated it. I suppose art was an extracurricular, which I use to this day, but not nearly as much as I wish.

I'm afraid my limitations for her will be too much as well. I won't want her out past dark by herself until at least sixteen, maybe even eighteen. I won't let her wander the streets of London by herself without someone there with her, to watch over my baby and protect her. The world's a scary place and I'll do everything possible to protect her.


I crane my neck from the telly across the room to see Harry standing in the doorway with a takeaway bag in hands. As soon as the 27th of January passed Harry has been nonstop researching ways to induce labour somewhat naturally. I know if she doesn't come soon I'll have to be induced at the hospital and it's making me a little weary.

We've tried walking up and down the block nearly three or four times throughout the day, which is said to be one of the best ways to bring on labour. I've been trying to eat spicy food recently as well, but all that does is bring on nasty heartburn. Harry even suggesting going on a bumpy car ride on the outskirts of town, reading somewhere that it could help with the positioning of the baby. I swore it wasn't going to work and as you can tell I was right.

"Hey." I say quietly, patting the empty space next to me whilst turning down the telly so that the cooking channel is only seen, not heard. Harry smiles and plops down beside me, setting the bag on the coffee table before us. "What'd you get?" I ponder.

I had asked for Chinese takeaway, which was an ever-present craving I was still having. I also told Harry to surprise me, mostly because I just couldn't make up my mind.

"I got Orange Chicken with white rice, egg drop soup, Shrimp Fried Rice, and Chicken Chow Mein." He explains placing all the tubs on the table. "Water for me and a lemonade for the lady. What do you want first?" Harry asks, eyeing me as I search the table for what I want to eat first.

"Egg drop soup." Harry hands me the tub of soup with a spoon and I thank him with a peck on the cheek before going to devour the glorious soup. Out of the corner of my eye I watch Harry dig into his Chicken Chow Mein, eyes fixed upon the telly in silence. "I bet you haven't eaten so much unhealthy food since before I moved it." I comment, watching Harry's lips quirk up in a grin.

"You could be very correct. We'll eat healthy once the baby arrives."

"We'll? Ha, there will be no we in the healthy foods department. That's all on you babe!" I exclaim, hugging the tub of soup in my hands to warm them up. Harry looks up at me with a look of shock on his face as if I'd just disgraced his whole way of life.

"Eating healthy isn't that bad, Shay. Tell me you don't fancy a salad every once in a while." I shake my head, trying to hide a small smile behind my spoon. I do fancy a good salad, especially before getting pregnant. I would have one every day for lunch at my desk, but I'm not letting Harry win this one.

"Nah, I'd rather fancy a large, greasy cheeseburger with overly salted chips and a big Diet Coke." Harry laughs all the while scrunching his nose up in disgust. "I'm just kidding, I'd rather eat this than a burger."

"How are you feeling?"

"You mean other than fat and aggravated as fuck? Just grand." Harry pouts slightly before scooting over closer to my body so that my knee is touching his thigh. "I'm just ready for her to be here already! She's three days late and I know that's not a huge deal, but to me it is."

"She'll come when she's ready. We can try some more at home remedies for inducing labour, okay? There are still a couple things we haven't tried." I roll my eyes playfully and take a spoonful of soup in my mouth.

"What, you mean like sex?" I joke, knowing the first time he read that he practically choked on air. "Or nipple stimulation?" That one always gets a laugh from him, always.

"We're not having sex until the right moment and until you're ready. I want it to be as romantic as possible for you and I definitely do not want the root of our first time being because we were trying to induce labour." I laugh lightly. "And as much fun as it sounds like to play with your boobs, spending an hour or so doing so is a lot of work, for both you and I."

"Why for you?" I ask through a laugh.

"Well for one, I'm not gonna let you do all the work; and for two, how am I to contain myself when you're fondling your breasts?" With a large eye roll I take another bite of soup and ignore the comment from Harry's mouth. Men. "I have an idea."

"If it has to do with either of the two previous things we just spoke about, then the answer is probably no." I state, leaning as forward as I can to try and reach the Fried Rice sitting just before me on the coffee table. Unfortunately for me, the baby is doing a pretty good job at not allowing me full range of motion to bend.

"No," Harry says leaning forward and grabbing the tub of food and handing it to me with a plastic fork, "I had something more romantic in mind." I raise my brows and look over at Harry, who is smiling over at me happily. "I was thinking maybe a walk round Hyde Park and a Wagamama's date tomorrow afternoon."

"That actually sounds pretty great."

Thinking back to the last time Harry and I actually had a real date, which was around a month or so ago. We have been extremely busy with preparations for the baby and Harry handling some stuff for Australia. Since the grand opening of that building nearly three months ago things have been hectic in the office, or so I hear. I'm not allowed near the office according to Harry.

"We haven't been on a date in a long time." I say, sighing heavily. "And it'll probably be the last date we go on without having to find a babysitter." Harry smiles over at me before setting his food down on the coffee table and cuddling up against me.

"I don't think I'm ever going to want to leave her once she gets here." Harry utters, eyes fitting down to my stomach. He reaches over, placing a hand on top of my shirt, feeling around a bit for some sign of our daughter's movements. "She's quite still in there, isn't she?" He states as I nod, taking another bite of my food.

"Yeah, I've read that she'll start getting herself into position and then may not be as active as she was. Trust me, she's still a little jumping bean in there."

From beside my leg, my phone begins to buzz off the hook, rather loudly. The brilliant thought of letting it go doesn't work out to my benefit as the device just keeps going off.

"Who is that?" Harry asks, eyes and hand still fixated on my stomach whilst I juggle with my food and try to pick up the buzzing device. I flip over the phone and stare at the incoming messages from a very excited woman.

Moxy and Niall went to Greece on holiday like a month ago, and they're still there. I guess that's a benefit of working from home and being quite wealthy. Anyways, on the second night of their holiday the two were, as Moxy put it: "strolling on the shore" when Niall proposed. Of course, Moxy said yes and being the person she is, she's already planning, even still on her holiday.

"Moxy and the girls." I say, watching the group message progress as more of the girls reply.

"What's she on about now?" I chuckle and shrug.

Moxy: Guys, I'm in dire need of help!

Bee: I bloody swear if ur pregnant too I'll come down there and smack some sense into both ya'

Bee: No offense Shay.

Marlee: What have you gotten yourself into Mox? Did Niall not pull out?

Moxy: Guys... have some faith in Niall and I! We know how to use protection! His pull out game is strong too...

Me: I have faith in you, what's up?

"She says she's 'in dire need of help!' What do you suppose that could ever mean?" I wonder sarcastically as I ignore Moxy's previous message about sex with her fiancé.

"Guaranteed it has to do with the wedding." Harry says, sitting back up and grabbing his food before focusing on the telly. I roll my eyes and nod my head slowly, agreeing. All she ever texts me about is her upcoming wedding, which is very likely a year or so out.

If Moxy could have all the resources in the world, she'd have this wedding planned the second hour into her engagement, maybe fourth if you count in sexy time between her and the leprechaun.

Moxy: When are we all going to be able to meet to try on dresses?!?! Between the 4 of us, we're all over. Bee: Spain, Marlee: LA, Shay: London, and I'll be in either Glasgow or Dublin!

"It's all Niall can talk about too." Harry says, pulling me from the outrageous text message. She's surely had a few cocktails by now and perhaps too much sun.

"You mean it's the same excitement level for the guys as it is the ladies?" I thought women were the crazier species between the two sexes, especially when it comes to weddings. Here I was imagining the men sitting back with a pint in hand whilst the woman runs round like a chicken with her head cut off.

"Oh yeah, we're equally excited. Believe it or not Shay, we get wedding fever too." Harry says, smirking over at me with a wink. "You'll figure it out soon enough."


I stare over at Harry, slowly lowering my phone onto my lap keeping my eyes locked on Harry. He clears his throat and straightens up a bit before turning to face the telly without so much as another word. My heart is erratically beating in my chest and I can't help but feel the anxiety course through my body at the mere thought of what he was hinting at.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask slowly, trying my best to stay somewhat calm. If he's insinuating what I think he is, I may just explode.

"Oh c'mon Shay, you have to know that I want to marry you someday." I gulp hard and take deep breaths to ensure a calm state, only it's not really working. "I'm waiting for the right time, which could be years, months, weeks, days from now. God only knows." He says, sending me a large grin, his dimples popping happily.

"I love you, Shay, and when the time is right I will make you my wife." 

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