This is my current situation I sit at when it comes to a particular, someone.
I have discovered feelings in which I never knew I had, some of these feelings though I am not pleased with and some of the things I did associate with these feelings I'm also not happy about. Life, is life, what can you do about it? Live it with no regrets.


4. Her House

After a few months of talking to each other, I had kind of offered myself over to her house when she was alone for a weekend while her parents were down at the beach house. For any person who has a crush on someone and has never been in a relationship, this is a huge step. I get my friend to take me to her house, he drops me and asks for an invite in but she said no, later that night I find out why.

I walk into her house; from the outside, the place looks tiny but the second you walk in it’s massive. It’s like a TARDIS. At the very start of the I felt awkward, we decided that we are going to watch movies all night because we both enjoy the same type of movies, I allow her to pick them. She takes me into her room since that was the only place that we could watch the movies. I’m 6ft2 so, big built not muscular but chubby, not the best-looking man on the block but my heart makes up for my looks. For her I just couldn’t get over how tiny she is compared to me, her body is the size of my bone structure, have the size of my height and so skinny compared to me.

I jump onto her bed and practically sunk into it, her bed was soft and comfy as if you were floating on a cloud. We sat down and started to relax, she decided that we were going to watch “Sex and the city” one and two. Totally suitable movies to watch when it’s just us two in bed, the night goes on. We ordered pizza from down the road for dinner, we both ate 3 pieces from two pizzas and she was trying to force me to eat more which I didn’t. One of her friends decided to come over to see how the night was going, the friend was nothing like her. She was more outgoing, a bigger build and not as girly.

Here is a small problem that had started from pretty much the beginning of our talks. One of the boys that she was talking too, had seen she was messaging me at university and my name appeared on her phone. He asked who I was and apparently I was her “Gay cousin” ever since that day I have pretty much been a gay friend. Back to the main part, I somehow became her “Gay” friend then the questions started and didn’t end.

Being called gay and having to answer all these questions are the easy part, but with technology in the picture we all seem to be connected with everyone than what we use to be. On the bed we sat, watching T.V, eyes locked on the phone always. I used to think I was one of the important ones that she'll message but while being there, I noticed I wasn't. I wasn't as important as the other guys she was talking to. 

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