The Devil's Vesper: Book Two of the Devil's Gospel

After losing her deal with the Devil, Naomi Hart finds herself married to the Devil and living in Hell. She now finds herself fighting a whole new battle; to try and get home to her real husband Robb, her friends and her Dad. But to do that, she has to find out why exactly Lucifer wanted her in the first place.
Lucifer has been plotting to bring the Apocalypse to Earth, and she plays a vital part in it.
Before she knows it, Naomi is thrown back to Earth and she has to find out a way to stop it, and return to her family.
The battle against Lucifer and his forces proves more difficult than Naomi could imagine, and with the fact she has to convince her family she is actually alive thrown in; she is in for a whole new fight.
Faced with overwhelming odds, Naomi needs to find Robb and get his help before time runs out and her entire existence is compromised, but with his belief in her diminished, Naomi’s battle seems even more difficult than she could have ever thought.


37. Thirty-Six



    I stare at the TV, not even taking in what I’m watching. Mia and Isaac seem to be grossed in it. I’m too busy thinking about the dates. I must have got this wrong. How can the midwife say I’m more than ten weeks pregnant? I haven’t even been back for that long. I’ve been alive for seven weeks. The doctor offered me a dating screening, and apparently the rate at which the baby is growing means I’m twelve weeks pregnant. The fuck does that even mean? I haven’t dared tell Isaac or Mia yet, because I don’t even know what that means for me. Robb and I didn’t even… I wasn’t even alive to conceive a child nine weeks ago, the earliest I could’ve conceived was on the first night I was alive, which adds up to me being seven weeks. I don’t understand it. Unless… no even me continuing to be pregnant from when I died doesn’t make sense. The baby would’ve died for lack of oxygen and blood and whatever nutrients those little shits take when you’re pregnant. I’ve even got a freaking bump now, but luckily I have loose clothing to hide it until I tell the two of them.

    Actually, how the Hell do I tell them that? How do I tell my two best friends that I’m pregnant with Robb’s child, yet the dates don’t add up and apparently I got pregnant when I was dead? It doesn’t actually make any sense whatsoever. Unless I got extra cool super growing powers when my soul went back into my body… no, that shit doesn’t exist anymore than Hiro Nakamura from Heroes exists. I wish…

    Let alone Anna, who’s apparently taken the fact Robb got me pregnant when he was meant to be picking between us, completely in her stride and doesn’t care. Yet she’s still hanging around here. She’s still mourning, but not to us. I hear her, in the lounge when she stays, crying.

    “Naomi?” Isaac asks.


    “You okay? You seem distracted,” he says.

    “No, I’m fine, thanks.”

    “You want some chocolate milk?” Mia asks, getting up. I nod in response and look at the TV to see we’re actually watching the news. Not that there’s much on anyway in the lead up to Christmas. We’re all just spending our time off sitting around, staring at the TV. We’ve got Robb’s old tiny tree up and a few lights scattered around the place, but we’re not even bothered anymore. I’m certainly not anyway, seeing as it would’ve been our first Christmas as a married couple.

    “We need to do something,” Isaac decides. “The four of us, as a kind of family. It’s nearly Christmas, guys. I know we don’t fancy celebrating, but I don’t know, we could go to the Christmas market in Winchester, or I don’t know, go to London or whatever, I don’t even care. We need to get out the flat.”

    “Okay, well, tomorrow’s Christmas Eve’s Eve, so I don’t know, we could go shopping? Here Nay,” Mia hands me a glass of chocolate milk.

    “Thanks. Guys, I need to tell you something weird,” I say, thinking now’s probably the right time. They both look at me expectantly while I take a small sip. “I went for my dating scan yesterday afternoon. Apparently, from the way the baby’s growing, they’ve dated me at twelve weeks pregnant.”

    “Okay, how is that weird?” Isaac asks.

    “I’ve only been alive for nine weeks, meaning tomorrow would be my seventh week pregnant. I was dead nine weeks ago, which is when I technically would’ve conceived the baby. Tell me that’s not weird and I’ll shut up. I distinctly remember coming back to life seven weeks ago which is when I conceived this child.”

    “Okay, wow, didn’t need that thought in my head,” Isaac says immediately. “But… how is that possible?”

    “I don’t know. Pregnancy doesn’t show until you’re at least three months pregnant, which is apparently the exact amount of time I am pregnant by. I should be nearly two months, not three!” I say, taking another sip of milk.

    “This has got to be wrong. You sure you haven’t been alive for three months? Or… ten weeks, however they calculate it?” Isaac asks.

    “No… look…” we all get the calendar down from the wall and look. “I came back to life on the eighteenth of November. It’s now the twenty second of December. I should technically be six weeks and six days pregnant. But apparently I’m twelve weeks exactly. I have a bump, the baby’s growing at the twelve week rate. It doesn’t add up.”

    They both sigh and glance at each other in thought. I put the calendar back and go back for my milk. I think on this seriously; I still don’t get it.

    “You didn’t get like super cool hero power type things when you entered your own body did you? Like you know Bella in Twilight?” Mia asks and I just look at her. “No? Okay, just checking.”

    “And it’s definitely Robb’s, like when you first came back alive, you weren’t pregnant then were you? It’s definitely since that night… trying to be so careful here because this is definitely weird,” Isaac says.

    “It’s definitely from that night, yeah. No symptoms till I would’ve been a month pregnant,” I say with a certain nod.

    “The holy mother…” Mia marvels, looking at my stomach. “It’s not like the vampire baby then is it? You could be having a vampire baby!”

    “Don’t be ridiculous!” I scoff in disgust and drink the last of my milk. “But something weird is definitely going on, this isn’t natural.”

    “Vampire baby,” Mia nods.

    “Fuck you,” I scoff and give her a small smile.


    “You know the wonderful thing about being the Devil? I always get my own way.”

    I push myself up from the sofa, taking my now eighteen week – five month – old bump with me as I get up. It’s only been two weeks since I saw the midwife in reality, so by her count I should be fourteen weeks, by my own count I should be nine weeks, but in reality, the baby is five months old in my stomach already.

    “The fuck do you want, arsehole? If I were you, I would get the fuck out of my house now…”

    “Or what, boy?” Lucifer interrupts Isaac as I stand properly. His focus turns on me. “Wow, Naomi, five months pregnant already? How does that even work, when you have only been alive here for nine weeks? My, this doesn’t quite add up, does it?”

    “You know the truth, don’t you? Why don’t you tell us what the Hell is going on, right now?” Mia demands.

    “Oh, so you don’t want me to leave now? Make up your minds, children!” Lucifer mocks, his Scottish accent still stunning, no matter how much I hate the fucking arsehole of the history of everything ever.

    “Just tell me what the Hell this,” I gesture towards my bump. “is about and then leave me the Hell alone.”

    “I can’t divulge that information either, Naomi, but if you think about it enough, the truth will come to you.” Lucifer says, standing in front of me. “You do look amazing, though, do you not think so? I think… hmmm, what’s his name… oh yes, Robb, would be so proud…”

    “Don’t you fucking say his name!” I snap, taking a step back.

    “Why not, Naomi? He is no longer here is he? Tell me, how is it for you? Has everything become clearer now you have no reason to…”

    “Shut up, Lucifer, just shut up!” I interrupt him, the tears welling up in my eyes. Last time he set foot in my home, he’d killed Robb. Last time he’d been here, Robb was alive one minute, gone the next. Robb had been alive. I had been kind of happy, or rather, I had been happy, until Lucifer turned up, which is usual, I guess.

    “Okay, fine, but here is the thing, Naomi, I will be opening the sixth seal soon, whether you like it or not. There is nothing you can do to stop me now, is there? Not in your… current condition anyway. Then my entire plan will come together finally, and together we will open the seventh seal of the apocalypse and it will finally come across humanity and everything I have planned for and everything I have worked for will come to pass. It is going to be the most wonderful thing, Naomi. And you will be a part of it.” Lucifer says, a triumphant grin on his face, the vessel’s eyes lighting up. I stand, just watching him. I’m so completely done with him, it’s ridiculous. Everything he does now just doesn’t phase me, maybe except for killing Robb, obviously. But everything; the way he makes Mark’s eyes light up when speaking about whatever the current thing might be, whether it’s the damned apocalypse or me, or whatever, the way he smiles when his plans work, the way he sings at me to try and win me over… nothing he does is a surprise to me anymore. I’m so fucking done it’s beyond believable.

    “Whatever,” I sigh.

    “Excuse me? Did you just… ‘whatever’ me?” Lucifer asks dumbfounded. I stare at him, my eyes narrowing in complete annoyance.

    “Just leave, Lucifer. Unless you want to tell me why exactly I’m five months pregnant when I should be just over two, just fucking go away,” I say with an annoyed sigh. I watch Lucifer look at me in confusion; something I’ve not managed to do to him before, but to be honest, I really don’t care.

    “Okay, I will, but let me tell you, Naomi, I will be back again when I have need of you,” Lucifer says and he literally disappears again.

    “I’m sure you will,” I say and sink back onto the couch, done with the entire world for now.


    “Did you not hear what he said?” Mia asks a few minutes later. I look at her from the sofa and blink.

    “No, what? He said a lot of things that I just don’t listen to anymore,” I say blandly.

    “He knew about the weird shit going on with your stomach,” Mia says and I wait for her amazing revelation that I’m sure is about to come out. “He said if you think about it enough, it’ll come to you.”

    “Yeah… and?” I ask.

    “Think about it, Nay. You must know the answer just as much as he does, you just haven’t thought about it yet.” Mia says, not making sense with that, but I know exactly what she means.

    “I don’t know, Mia. I’m pregnant with Robb’s child, yet I’m five months when I should be all sorts of fucking weeks pregnant. Basically, I am like Bella Swan, even though I hate her because she’s the worst Mary Sue character in all of history and I hate life right now, and all I want is Robb back and the good news this fucking kid brought with it when it all made sense,” I say.

    “Don’t be so fucking down on me right now,” Mia sighs. “You’re the one that wants this worked out, and we’re the ones who want to stop the fucking apocalypse, now if I’m not mistaken, I think this has something to do with it, don’t you? Lucifer’s obviously fucking around with you. This… speedier than speedy pregnancy has something to do with the fact you’re the one helping him apparently opening the seventh and final seal.”

    “She has a brilliant point there, Nay,” Isaac says.

    “You think I’m a bomb until the seal needs to break, and when I go into labour or whatever the Hell is gonna happen to me when this thing’s time is up, that’ll be the seal done, when this thing comes out of me?” I suggest with a smirk.

    “Oh, smart one,” Isaac scoffs. “We’re being serious. We know shit’s going down right now and we know life sucks. Do you think you’re the only one still mourning Robb around here? We still have this little, teeny, tiny problem of the fucking Devil and his apocalypse to sort out!”

    I stand from the couch. “Well I’m sorry I’m fucking fat right now, and I’m sorry I can’t seem to get over Robb, okay?”

    I feel a cold, hard slap across my face.

    “Wake the fuck up, Naomi Hart!” Mia yells. My mouth gapes open and my hand cradles the hurt. “Robb would fucking kill you if he could see you right now. Yeah, okay, you’re in mourning still, well so am I, and so is Nicole and so is Isaac, and Hell, so are his aunt and uncle who have not got any clue what’s really going down right now. Isaac’s right, the Devil is still opening the fucking seals, and you’re still pregnant beyond like… belief right now. We need to work out how to stop this and how to like, work out what is going on with you. That means we need your help, and for that to happen, you have to get your arse off that couch and start being more proactive, even though I hate that word. You need to take your devastation and put it into helping us right now. We can’t do this alone. You wanna be self pitying? Do it after we’ve won against Lucifer, you hear me? We defeat him, then Robb’s death will be avenged and we can all sleep a little better at night.”

    I stare at her for a minute. “How long was I dead for?”

    She narrows her eyes at me. “Earth time: around two and a half months.”

    “And when they gave me a scan I was twelve weeks pregnant, which put me when I was still dead… you’re right, it’s something to do with the final seal.”

    “So, what?” Mia ponders. “What could Robb’s child and your child have to do with the final seal? If you’re meant to be used for it as well…”

    “Yeah but if you were dead at the time of conception, then, I hate to say this, but what if it’s not Robb’s?” Isaac says.

    “Like the Virgin Mary thing?” I ask and Isaac nods. “Except…” I trail off, thinking of what happened down in Hell. No, there’s no way that could work. That was my soul, not my body and it’s the body that gets pregnant.

    “Shit,” Isaac says suddenly, like he’s had a revelation or something.

    “What?” I ask.

    “I’ve had a fucking… I know what’s going on,” he says, standing up properly. I move across the lounge and perch on the table.

    “Well, tell us then,” Mia urges.

    “Right, so Lucifer said if you think about it enough it’ll come to you, right? Well, I have no fucking idea what this might have to do with the apocalypse thing, right, but what if that baby isn’t Robb’s… but it’s Lucifer’s?”


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