Out of his shell

What if they never served on the same ship and never became the legendary crew Star Fleet regarded? What if they all met at a nursing home? What if it Spock was in a shell of his own? Much like Jim would be. And all it took was McCoy to be there to tow them both out as much as he will regret it.

Inspired by Jim Carrey's second parody of Star Trek in living color.


46. 46

"John." Spock said.

"Yes?" The admiral turned around facing the Vulcan. His eyes widened at recognition. His mouth slightly fell and there was a look of "AM I THAT OLD?" gawking at the Vulcan. The Russian was shorter than Spock had last seen him. His hair white unlike Spocks that was still a jet black. Bags were under the man's eyes. The Russian's face turned from horror into envy and possible half a pout.

"You look well today." Spock said.

"You look not a day over thirty." Leland said. "Why is it that?"

"I am a Vulcan." Spock said.

"Right, right, right, Spooky." Leland said, with a dismissive wave.

"That is not my name." Spock said.

"Oh," Leland said, leaning forward on his cane with a 'oh really?' expression on his face. "Then vhat about the time you responded to it after ve had that transporter malfunction and ve had been dispersed?"

"Your voice was the only familiar one in the vacility," Spock said. "I did not respond to the name but merely to your voice."

Leland laughed.

"And I still get under your skin." Leland said.

"That is impossible." Spock said.

"Figure of speech, Ambassador." Leland said.

"How are your grandchildren?" Spock inquired.

"They are doing vell." Leland said. I am assume yours are logically sound."

"In matter of fact,they are." Spock said.

"I am going to a medical conference. You are not here for a loud old lecture regarding Wulcanian history?" Leland raised an eyebrow. Spock raised the eyebrow back at him. "Spock,stoph, staph raising your brow after I do!"

"Who is stoph?" Spock asked, lowering his eyebrow.

"It's. . . ." Leland started to laugh, shaking his hand, hand leaned on a cane. His bright emerald eyes full of joy. "It's a saying, Ambassador."

"As you say, stoph." Spock said.

". . . About time you get yourself versed into the nickname street. You're terrible at picking one up." Leland said.

Spock nodded his head.

"I will endeavor to do so, Admiral." Spock said. Then he lowered his voice, "John, I have noticed on your essays that you are starting to write incoherent sentences and your paragraphs show that reason is being lost. You bring up facts that are not related to the paper unlike you did in the previous hundred fifty essays written. I advise you seek a doctor and take the test for the beginnings of irumodic syndrome. I have informed Admiral Strong of the changes and brought the recent stories of your acting out of character from recent years. He is willing to accept your resignation. As your colleagues, you must sit down and relax."

"Vell, is it not a surprise that I got a Wulcan admirer?" Leland said, with a small smile. Then it faded into a wrinkled mess of fury. "You rotten bastard you made me lose on a bet that you had emotions for twenty years!" He shook his fist. "It is not fair!"

"Your pool was made untimely," Spock said. "Nothing is fair, John."

Leland lowered his hand.

"You are calling me by my first name." Leland said, his face smooth than it had been in years and he looked a century younger. He had realization on his face. "You are terrified I am going to die. You have real concerns that I am going to die. Real, genuine emotions." His hand on the cane was trembling. He never did poke at Spock's lack of emotions back in the day but he always suspect that the Vulcan had them, apaprently. "Admiral Strong, you, Admiral Kane, Admiral Blair, and I are the last people from the USS Endeavor."

"Affirmative, that you are." Spock said.

"So all these years pretending you didn't kare . . . when in fact you did care?" Leland said.

"We do not express emotions verbally." Spock said.

"So mentally. . ." Leland coughed into his elbow with a shallow, ragged cough. "I am fine. . . Maybe I cannot say the same for you." He looked up toward Spock. "A healthy dose of releasing emotions will surely help you,Ambassador."

"My health is not of your concern." Spock said.

"Bottling up emotions is never good especially when you have a human half." Leland said. "I use to be your doctor. Remember that!"

"You are obviously speaking to the wrong person." Spock said. "Am I talking to the right admiral?"

Leland had a chuckle.

"So, I take it that you believe this is going to be our last conversation." Leland said.

"I--" Spock was cut off before he could finish.

"I don't need to hear the validation from you." Leland finished.

"I was about to say," Spock said. "From one Vulcan to a human: death is just the beginning."

"You are just full of it." There was a woman calling out for the admiral. Leland turned in the other direction shouting back, "I am coming, Martha!" He turned back toward Spock making the distinctive comment, "Stubborn Romulan daughter who insists on following me." He shook his head. Leland looked toward Spock. "Ambassador, kaptain, kommander, science officer." He admired the Vulcan. "There is a saying from the Romulans that I really like. Because it means exactly the same thing as your salute." He held his hand up then twisted his two fingers alongside his thumb lowering the three other fingers to the middle of his palm. "Jolan tru."

"Live long and prosper." Spock said, his hands locked behind his back.

Leland shared a small, but weak smile back at the vulcan.


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