The Journal


1. Chapter 1


Sometimes life is not what you expect it to be. Kids grow up thinking it is easy to live in this world, but once they grow up, they wish they would be young again.

Some people grow up expecting to live life the way they want to, but they end up living life the way they are supposed to. Day after day without achieving much.

Haven't you thought about "Why can't this be me?" I'm sure you did. Everyone does. But because of what surrounds you, you can't always do what you want.

I am one of those people who ask this question every single day.

I look up to Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, J.K.Rowling, Nicholas Sparks and all of those who achieved amazing things in life.

I look at myself and my achievements.

I achieved nothing...

Let me tell you who I am.

My name is Edeline, I know it sounds so old fashioned, but i love it.

My mother used to love Jane Austen and she's the one who made me fall in love with her books.

She loved old fashioned stuff and that's where my name came from.

When my parents got married, my mother re-decorated her room just to make her writing desk set in front of the window.

She kept all of her Jane Austen books on that desk.

She always told me if anything happened to her, I would keep the books.

I never understood her love for the books, but when I grew up reading them, I knew.

Jane's life was not easy. Everyone around her wanted her to marry the man her parents told her to marry, and Jane always wanted to be an independent woman, and she achieved that by writing books.

My mother's life was similar to that.

My grandparents made her marry my father, while she was in love with another man.

Another man that never stopped loving her, but had to let her go.

They always say, "if you love them, let them go", I've always had curiosity of how he looked like, but my mom burned the pictures because they held her back, as she said.

I could never tell if what's between mom and dad is true love or not. Maybe they just have to love each other. I guess I'll never know...

Everytime I asked my dad, he would say, "your mother was young and she did not know what's best for her".

My mom decided to leave to North Carolina to sell my grandparents house. I didn't know why. It was a beautiful house that had a huge garden and a small lake out front.

My dad didn't want her to go by herself, because he was so overprotective.

I hate that about him...

But she was stubborn and left to North Carolina.

She left and never came back...

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