Sparks Ignited

When Angela and Carol first met they never anticipated meeting 5 Seconds of Summer, let alone living with them. Together the girls find friendship and romance under a roof of secrets. When friendships are tested and feelings exposed, can the girls remain friends through it all?

*co-authored with a user not on this site*


35. January 28th (Part 2) / Carol's POV

I made my way downstairs a little while later. There’s a nagging feeling of guilt in the back of my mind and I don’t know why. I wipe my eyes a final time and turn to my left into the kitchen. Clearing my throat I grab a Pepsi from the fridge and sit at the counter. I wish I could get out of my head. It’s not being very nice right now and if I keep on like this I’m not sure what choices I’ll make. As it stands some of these kitchen knives are giving me a content feeling. All it would take is for me to slice one line, maybe two. It all depends on how deep this internal wound is.

Groaning in frustration I leave the kitchen before I do something stupid. As I walk down the little hallway I turn and head down the side of the stairs. Opening the basement door I bound down the steps searching for a familiar face. Looking around I hear movement in the other room and beginning walking in that direction. As I enter the doorway, I see Cal working out like he’s been doing every other day since they came back from holiday. I’m glad he’s here and hasn’t left to go shopping yet.

I knock on the wall so he knows I’m there and he turns his head to look at me. He nods in my direction before going back to lifting his weights. Not wanting to interrupt him I lean against the wall and just watch him working out. His careful movements and flexing biceps keeping me focused, help prevent me from wanting to cry again. I really don’t want to bother him with Luke and I but, I need to know if I’m the only one who didn’t see what Luke saw between us.

“Okay, what‘s up?” he says after setting his weights down. He breathes in and out slowly through his nose while he drinks from his water bottle.

“Do you have a minute to talk?” I ask as I walk over to him. He follows my movement with his eyes and closes his drink, nodding in response.

“I need your complete honesty, okay?” I explain, looking up to him and biting on my lip. He again nods and I lean against the wall closest to him.

“Carol, what is it?” he asks, letting out a small chuckle. I give a small smile and look up at him still unsure how to word this.

We meet eyes and I release my lip to ask,

“Have you noticed something between Luke and I?” not leaving his face. There’s instantly a change in atmosphere. Where before it felt open and safe, I now feel as though someone or something is pushing all the air and space in the room, down to the ground. Away from both of us. It’s now that I know Luke isn’t the only one who’s been keeping secrets.

His eyes dart away from me and I speak again,

“You knew didn‘t you?” I ask. He sighs and I’m biting my lip so hard I’m afraid I might break skin.

“Yeah.” is all he says. He looks to me and it’s my turn to look away to prevent any tears from coming through. Am I the only one who didn’t know?

“Have I really been that oblivious?” I ask, looking down at my feet. If I look up at him I’m more than likely going to break. As it stands I feel like a fucking idiot and knowing that he knew all this time, doesn’t help that.

“I wouldn‘t say that. But you‘ve definitely been naïve.” he says softly. Sighing in response I give in and look up to read his face. It’s sympathetic and honest, I think he’s stepped closer since I last saw him as well.

“Is it my fault? Did I do something to make him think-” I begin to ask before he cuts me off.

“No. Between the two of you I‘ve heard and at times, seen what you two were like together. Do I think you should‘ve spent as many nights with him as you did? No. But every time you guys hung out I think Luke deliberately read into things more than he was supposed to, in the hopes you felt the same way.” he explains, reaching a hand out and resting it on my arm.

There’s a silence for a moment as I let this sink in. I didn’t help myself by cuddling with him as often as I did. I guess I knew that. But I’m also not the only one at fault here and that’s a relief to know. I just wish I could take some of it back. Maybe then we wouldn’t be where we are now and I wouldn’t feel so guilty.

Giving in I walk forward and engulf him in a hug. He returns it and having the comfort of his arms around me, is making it really hard to not burst into tears.

“I just wish I could take it back. You know? I mean I feel like he fucking hates me and I don‘t want to lose him. He‘s become one of my best friends Cal, what am I supposed to do?” I ask with a quivering voice until I break altogether. He rubs my back and tightens his hold on me just a little bit more saying,

“Hey, calm down. It‘ll be alright. Just give him time to cool off and I promise you that you two will be back to normal again. With us leaving it‘ll give him the perfect opportunity to realize what a dick he‘s being. I promise he doesn‘t hate you. He might think he does right now but it‘s only because his pride is hurt.” he lets me hold onto him just a bit longer before having me look at him.

“I hope you‘re right Cal.” I say, leaving his arms and wiping away the few tears that spilled over. He smiles down at me saying,

“I’ve known the guy for how long? Pretty sure I know him a bit better than you do.” with a small chuckle. I smile widely letting a soft chuckle through.

“You got a point there.” I admit, giggling a bit more. I’m not a hundred percent confident that he’ll forgive me but I do feel a lot better after talking to Cal.

It’s always so easy for me to lose something or someone. So to hear that there’s someone who’s willing to help me keep something, it’s hard for me to believe. I really hope Cal can convince Luke that he’s being a dick and hurting our friendship. It would kill me to know that all the time we spent together meant nothing to him because it didn’t suit his needs. Mainly because it meant a lot to me even if I didn’t feel the way he does.

I leave Cal to finish his second set and head back upstairs. After closing the basement door behind me I walk forward and past the kitchen.

“Hey boo.” I hear to my left. Turning I see Angela with a bag of chips and a juice.

“Hey brat, grabbing some provisions so you can hide again?” I ask, knowingly. She smiles in response saying,

“You know it. I probably should go say something to Ashton but I just don‘t know how to start.” while she frowns slightly. God that sounds familiar.

“Same boat sweetheart. The only advice I can give is to make sure you tell him everything you‘ve been wanting to tell him. With them leaving for so long it‘s going to be hard to talk to them on the phone about serious things. That and at least you‘ll know you tried as opposed to just letting him walk off without a word.” I say, thinking about my own dilemma.

Angela smiles up at me but I know in her head, she’s still worrying about everything like she was before. It’s pretty sad how similar we are in that way. Even though we should have no reason to be this way, we are. It’s why we found each other though. God knew if we found each other our lives would become that much easier. Someone who understood how we feel and still be able to give a well needed pep talk. How else could we stand each other otherwise?

Checking my phone shows me the guys will be leaving soon. Along with multiple messages from Mickey wanting to know if I’ll be helping him pack or coming to see him. Smiling I put my phone in my pocket while Angela and I make our way upstairs, going in separate directions when we reach the top. Her to her room, I assume to pep talk herself into talking with Ash and myself heading to Mickey’s room.

I knock on his door and am soon greeted with his face.

“Care bear.” he says with a smile. I return it, instantly feeling better than I was earlier. He makes everything so easy and I absolutely love him for it.

“Hey Mickey. Sorry it took me so long.” I say, walking into his room and seeing his already packed cases. They rest against his bed and his room already feels empty even though he’s standing right next to me.

“No problem. I just wanted to talk.” he says, closing the door behind me and walking over to his bed. He sits on the left side and pats the spot next to him. I smile in response and sit beside him feeling comfortable being with him.

“It sucks you guys can‘t come with us. It‘s going to be hard leaving now that we‘ve all gotten so close.” he says, reaching for my hand and holding tightly. I reciprocate the move and give a small smile in return.

“I know. Believe me I know. I wish you guys didn‘t have to go, especially since we never got our honeymoon stage.” I answer with a small chuckle. He laughs in response asking,

“Honeymoon stage? Do I want to know what that is?” chuckling even more. I look down at our hands with a smile saying,

“It‘s the best part of a relationship. It‘s where we get to do and say everything we want to each other when we couldn‘t while we were friends.” sheepishly. When I look up at his face again he’s smiling at me. His left hand reaches up to my face and cups my cheek.

“Yeah. I‘m going to miss that too.” he says, leaning in. I meet him halfway and our lips part and close with no hesitance. With every kiss they get softer and slower as he slides his right hand to hold the back of my neck.

I would miss his taste and his smell. The feeling in this moment of comfort and security that only he can bring. Even with all the shit with Luke right now, I know I didn’t make a mistake when I chose Mickey. He’s my everything and I hope to god I’m his. In this moment, I feel like I am. But that could easily change in the time he’s away from me.

“I‘m going to miss that taste.” he says, resting his forehead on mine for a moment.

“What taste? Pepsi?” I ask with a chuckle. He laughs in response and says,

“No. Your lips.” sheepishly. I can see his cheeks starting to redden in color and know it’s embarrassing for him to admit.

“My lips have a taste? Tell me what do they taste like?” I ask knowingly, but wanting to see if he does. He pants slightly, caught off guard by my response and backs away so we’re back where we started. His hand drops from my neck as he looks down at our still interlocked fingers.

“I don‘t know care bear. It‘s something fruity.” he says with an embarrassed chuckle. I smile at him, trying to see his face. He finally looks up at me and I smile even wider saying,

“Cherry. Cherry chapstick is what you‘re tasting Mickey.” leaning in toward him and giving him a small peck on the lips. He returns it and smiles softly at me afterward.

“You‘ve given it thought right, you‘re still mine?” he asks, looking intently at my face.

“Of course.” I reply, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“Would I be here if I wasn‘t?” I ask, reaching a hand out to rest on his cheek. He smiles in response and I lean forward to kiss his forehead. He chuckles at the movement and says while I back away,

“I think I‘m supposed to be the one doing that.” still laughing. I smile in response saying,

“Too bad. I beat you to it.” smirking widely.

He reaches his hand out again and holds my head in place as he kisses me once more. We part in smiles and I hold his hand a bit tighter. His phone goes off and with a groan he looks at the screen.

“Time to go care bear.” he says, his smile already gone. Instinctively I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close. I swallow repeatedly and try to get rid of the lump forming in my throat. He holds his hands at the base of my lower back. He keeps us together for longer than I would’ve and kisses the side of my head.

“I kinda love you best friend.” I say, swallowing once more. He breathes me in deeply and says,

“I kinda love you too.” into my neck. His hot breath hitting skin and sending goosebumps through me. He lets me go and we walk, hand in hand to the door. Both of us with a suitcase and a frown on our face.

“Alright girls, we ready?” Ash asks. Angela and I share a look and we both share the same devastated expression. No. Neither of us was ready for this. Calum was smart to be showering at this moment in time.

“Come on. Give us some hugs.” he says with arms wide open. I give a small smile and hug him first, Angela seeming hesitant. He rubs my back for a small moment before we break apart and exchange a goodbye. I watch him hug Angela and though it’s brief they both don’t wear the expression I would’ve expected.

Luke and I share a glance and at first I don’t expect a hug from him, but he surprises me by setting his suitcase to the side and giving me a one armed hug. Without any resistance I wrap my arms around his long torso and rest my head against his chest. I listen to the beat of his heart and realize I’m going to miss that as well. I have to swallow the lump down once more at the realization.

He lets go a bit quicker than I’d like and gives me a brief bye, clearly still pissed at me. That hurts more than I’d like to admit. Mickey tilts his head to look at my face and I give him a half hearted smile, too heartbroken at the moment to give him anything more. He engulfs me in a whole body hug and kisses the side of my head once more.

“Don‘t go crying on me now care bear, I won‘t be able to take it.” he whispers into my hair. Just to hear the gloominess in his tone, tells me it’s killing him to leave us just as much as it’s killing us to watch them go. I bury my face in his chest and breathe him in, trying to make myself remember it though I‘m unsure how I could ever forget it.

We pull apart and he looks down at me with blood shot eyes. If he cries I’m going to burst and it’ll be a while before I stop. He tucks some hair behind my ear and leans in to kiss me for a final time. Just like in the bedroom they’re slow and sweet as though he was trying to remember them.

“Come on Michael, let the poor girl breathe. We got a plane to catch.” Ash says with a slight chuckle. But something about his tone didn’t seem playful.

Mickey releases me and kisses my forehead before moving to my left and engulfing Angela in a hug. It too lasts for a while and I look around to see Luke is no longer inside the house. Ashton is just now walking out the door when Mickey finishes. We watch them walk out and wave goodbye before leaving in the taxis.

“Can I cry now?” I ask Angela, still staring at the descending yellow cars.

“Only if I can with you.” she says, closing the door and taking a deep breath.

How are we going to say goodbye to Calum?

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