Remember me

When Y/N sees 5SOS in a concert she feels things she didn't think possible and all because of him. Michael Clifford. When he shows her attention does it really mean something or is he playing her? Will they be separated by their differences or can true love really overcome all?


30. Empty

Y/N's POV:

About 2 weeks after we announced to everyone that me and Michael were going to be parents, Michael was allowed to leave hospital. We talked about the baby non stop. We talked about what name we should give him or her, how Michael would balance his career and being a dad. We even looked at new apartments so there was a room for the baby. We'd bought a few clothes that were neither too girly or too boyish. I was so happy. My stomach began to grow and by now I had a small bump. The feelings I had towards this unborn baby were indescribable, I felt so much love and warmth for a tiny human that I'd not even met.

I was just 3 months, when I was in bed in the early hours of the morning and I felt a sharp pain straight in my stomach. Like someone was stabbing me. I yelled in pain and Michael instantly sat up and  asked me what was wrong. I tried to explain the pain I was feeling but I couldn't get the words out. I then began to panic about the baby and if it was okay. 
"Babe, are you able to walk?" He asked me, his eyes full of concern. I nodded and began to stand up before my legs gave way and I fell to the floor. He ran over to me and picked me up bridal style and carried me all the way to the car. I felt the tears streaming down my face and I knew there was something wrong. We arrived at the hospital in what felt like hours but had really been minutes. He pushed me in a wheelchair to the front desk and people rushed around me; taking me into a room; Michael never leaving my side or letting go of my hand. "It's going to be okay Y/N." He whispered to me. I nodded taking sharp breaths in between sobs. They took me for an ultrasound and Michael sat beside me his eyes never moving from the screen. The midwife searched and searched before going to get the doctor. The doctor also tried to find the baby on the screen but there was no heartbeat to be heard. He turned off the screen and turned to me and Michael looking very serious. "I am truly sorry to tell you that there is no heartbeat, you've lost the baby." Michael instantly pulled me in for a hug and I just lay there motionless.  "I'll give you a moment with each other before I tell you about the help we can offer women who suffer miscarriages." He gave us a weak smile before walking out. Michael began to rock me and that's when I properly woke up. I turned to Michael to see the tears in his eyes and I just buried my face in his chest and cried. "Mikey, I'm so sorry. I've lost our baby." I howled. He stroked my hair and kissed my head. "Y/N, listen to me right now! This isn't your fault! It's something that sometimes happens, never blame yourself!" We just lay there together holding each other trying to make the hurt go away. There was now a huge crater in my heart where the possibility of being a mother in 6 months, previously was. How could something that I'd never seen, heard, touched mean so much to me?

Over the next few weeks we received lots of support from the hospital, family, friends and people who had found out about the baby. For the first few days after the miscarriage I didn't think I could ever get over this pain and emptiness. But gradually over the weeks the pain faded, it was most certainly still there but I knew there was nothing I could have done. With Michael by my side we both came through it, stronger than before. Although we both missed the idea of being parents in a few months, we agreed to try again soon and even though we didn't say it we knew it wasn't to replace the child we lost but to add to our family. 
I will never fully recover from the loss of my little boy or girl but I know wherever they are they will know we didn't have the choice to let them go.

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