invisible // muke

"You've made me feel so much happiness and I don't want to ever leave that happiness." It's March 22, 2013; our one month. A moment I'll cherish forever and a moment I'll never forget.

There are mentions of self harm, suicide, abuse, and depression. If you have any of these problems and just need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open ❤️


29. oblivion // indians

"Daddy! When can I see him?!" Madi's tiny hand pulls on mine. I pick her up, setting her into my lap.
"I don't know, Madi. We have to wait." I chuckle as she squirms in my lap. Her dirty-blonde hair in my face as she squirms. Ever since she found out that she's going to have a baby brother, she's been so excited. She's helped prepare for him in the spare room that will now be his. She seems more excited than Michael and I. We are excited, but we aren't excited for the every two hour wake ups in the middle of the night and the crying baby. We waited four years for that reason. Michael went into the room with Casey this time, who was glad to be our surrogate mother again. Even though she's Madi's godmother, we call her Aunt Casey. Madi knows that Casey isn't her aunt though. Madi sighs, frustrated, leaning back against me.
"I give up."
"You give up?!" I ask, pretending to be shocked. "You give up on what?"
"I give up on trying to get out." She groans. I laugh kissing her cheek. She angrily wipes her cheek. "Daddy! There's no time for kisses. I wanna see my brother!" She frowns, crossing her arms. It's been an anxious hour since our little boy was born, we just weren't allowed in the room yet. Michael comes out with a big smile on his face. Madi jumps off my lap, running to Michael.
"Dad! Is he here?! Can I see him yet?!" She asks anxiously. Michael picks her up smiling. Her eyes are that bright green that Michael's were so long ago when we first kissed. I'll never forget the day.
"Yep! that's what we are going to do!" He smiles at me as I stand and grab our things. Madi is a spitting image of Michael. She has his blonde hair and green eyes. She also has his smile. As she gets older, she reminds me more and more of him. I walk over to him, kissing him quickly. "Luke, he looks like you." He smiles, kissing my cheek. My face lights up at the word of that.

I smile down at Alex, who is in my arms. Tears run down my cheeks. "Hey, buddy." I smile, kissing his forehead. Michael's arm is around my shoulders and Madi is sitting on Michael's leg.
"Daddy, can I hold him now?" Madi asks impatiently.
"Alright, but you have to sit up and you have to hold up his head." I smile, carefully handing him over to her and Michael. Michael puts his hands over hers to help her hold Alex. She smiles at her brother with her wide smile and bright green eyes.
"Hi Alex!" She says almost a little too loud. I shush her and she gives me the same frown Michael does when he is fake mad at me.
"You don't want to wake him." Michael says quietly to her. She nods.
"I'm your big sister, Madison. But you can call me Madi." She smiles, kissing his nose. I take a picture of her looking down at him and I put it up on Instagram. This is the best thing that has happened to me. I have the most perfect family that I could ever have.

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