Silverchair - Ziall

C'mon, abuse me more I like it....

C'mon keep talking 'cause it's true....

Niall grew up different. He was often given names like a freak or a psycho for his obsession with things like pain and gore.

He wasn't like the other kids, he loved getting hurt.

Niall never understood his obsession with pain, he liked to hurt himself with lighters and ropes. He'd wrap a rope around his arm so tight it would almost cut off the circulation, he'd burn the top of a lighter into his arm and when he was bored he'd scratch his leg till it was bleeding.

He always felt like the odd one out, until he met somebody new. Somebody who felt differently towards Niall than everybody else.

And once he found out about Niall's fascination and odd habits that boy felt something that you could only explain as excitement

WARNING: contains violence, BDSM, and sexual scenes or references


1. 01


I just huffed, holding my school books loosely in my hand with only one bag strap over my shoulder

Same shit every day.

"Is that a fresh burn? What the hell is wrong with that fag"

I rolled my eyes behind my sunglasses. I really didn't give a shit anymore.

Ever since I was little, I liked to hurt things and other people. Then, after I got into loads of trouble for that I began to hurt myself.

It's a little complicated to explain because I didn't do it because of depression or anything. I enjoyed it. I genuinely enjoyed it. I liked to burn myself and cut my skin and pierce myself, I liked to do anything that would physically damage me somehow.

Other kids didn't like it for obvious reasons, it's weird. But I like what I like and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I didn't have any friends, but I didn't care either because in drama there was always one kid who would talk to me and keep me company.

His name was Louis. He was pretty fucking weird as well, he was so obviously gay and he just couldn't keep his dick in his pants. On top of that, he loved the daddy kink. I guess he has nothing to judge me for so we talk.

Louis thinks of me as fucked up but in a badass kind of way because I'm so small yet I like to get hurt. He's sort of a friend, more or less an in class one

"Hey, Psycho!" I heard his voice chirp "you ready for drama"


"Hey, you've got new burns" he smiled

I nodded

"Lighter again?"

"Nah, I used a spoon this time"

"Damn son" Louis laughed "I wish I could take pain like that"

I laughed back, a few kids staring. This school really didn't like me.

We headed off to drama, and got our monologue skits back.

I was surprised to find an A- considering I'd been sent to the counsellor for it.

My monologue was on a soul harvester, which was me and I liked to be descriptive and of course my brain made up shit that got me into trouble again.

But I actually got a good grade this time for an original idea, good delivery, and staying in character and for being able to hold and emphasise emotions.

Of course mine wasn't sad, it was about how much I loved my job.

Louis had the same grade as me, he'd done his on a broken heart and well... Committed suicide in the end

The teacher went through everybody's grades and spoke to all of us one on one and then class was over

I headed to hard tech, where you handles stuff like hacksaws and blades and wood burners and all kinds of sharp shit. We could design whatever we wanted to since it was an introduction to shaping and being me, I was making a knife with a wooden handle.

We all went to our work benches and then the teacher called a kid I hadn't seen before to the front of the class

"Guys, this is Zayn" The teacher smiled "he's new here to London so you guys treat him well"

He looked around the classroom, and his warm ebony eyes met mine. Wow, those are really nice brown eyes

"Choose a place that doesn't have 3 people on already" the teacher told him

"Okay" he smiled, his eyes still boring into mine

He broke the eye contact and got given a folder. The class watched as he came and sat down in front of me

"Is he really sitting with that freak?" One of the boys whispered

"He'll move as soon as he figures it out"

"To work!" The teacher snapped

"I'm Zayn" he smiled

"Niall" I answered back

"You're cute"

"Thanks" I mumbled, concentrating on redrawing the handle for the knife

"So what are you making?"

"I'm going to make a knife"

"You like knives?" He asked, smiling wider

"Love them" I nodded

"So do I"

"Really?" I looked up, doubting him

"Yeah" he nodded, now grinning

I looked him over once, I saw a burn on the back of his arm which made me smile a little

"Where'd you get the burn?"

"I was doing some stuff with fire" he told me "I mucked it up clearly"


"And your burns?" He asked

"Oh, I do them"

"You burn yourself?"

I nodded

"How come?"

"I just like it, it feels nice" I shrugged

"You like to get burnt?"

I nodded

"I don't believe you" Zayn chuckled "you look like the kind of person who would-"

"I hope you realise you're sitting with the school psycho" Luke slammed his hand on the work bench in front of Zayn

"Really, Luke?" I asked monotonously "leave us the fuck alone. I leave you alone so you do the same. Unless you want me to shift to your table?"

"I'm not talking to you, freak" Luke hissed "I'm talking to the new kid"

"Whatever" I rolled my eyes and went back to my work

"You know it's not nice to call people a freak" Zayn said, making me look up from my paper

"That's what he is"

"So what if he likes to burn himself?" Zayn asked "everybody likes something, it'll surprise you how many people I actually know who do that"

"He's obsessed with-"

"Look, I appreciate the warning" Zayn's eyes blazed in anger "but go back to your desk, I chose to sit here and that's where I'm sitting"

Luke walked off and Zayn offered me a smile "don't worry, I'm not going anywhere"

I gave a single nod, offering a smile back

Zayn began to draw something up. I was pretty surprised to see he'd sketched up a riding crop and a chopping board with a handle

"You've got a horse?"

"My mom does" Zayn said "I make most of her stuff, I want to build for a living so she asks me to make her this stuff. And that chopping board is a bread board for the oven"

"Oh, okay"

Zayn got out some wood, and stood beside me at one of the hacksaws. I was starting up a new handle and I cut out the shape, biting my lip as I accidentally sawed into my finger

Zayn just looked at me smiling

"I like you, you're cool"

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