all the words for pink

"tell me it will be okay," i say. "tell me nothing will ever change."

jamie's eyelids flutter, and her hair is fanned out like an angel's halo. "sweetheart, if that's your wish, then nothing ever will. nothing will ever change."

i always loved her for that lie.

**this is a really complex-seeming project that i've been working on for almost 2 years, in a thousand different forms. it kind of sucks but i kind of like it, so everything's okay (: was called silver stars but i'm an indecisive little brat


8. cotton candy

the year of being 10 is a hard year. we move again (twice in 1 year), and jay is teased for being shy. i yell at a lot of people my age because of this, and go home with bruised knuckles and scabs on my knees. every time this happens, jay tells marlene that i fell down the stairs, and marlene tells eliza that i'm getting into fights on the playground. it's a long cycle, and everyone does their part, but we are all tired of it by the end of the year. we're lucky this time, because by the end of the year we have moved again. i stop getting into fights, because sometimes i can hear jay's dry sobs in the room next door long after alison has fallen asleep. and the sobbing stops, after a while. it gets better. it all gets better. but everything seems the same, even when everything is changing, and i can't help but hope for the universe to signal to itself like it does when the leaves change in the fall, and for everything to be bright again.

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