Puku's Secret

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  • Published: 16 Jun 2016
  • Updated: 16 Jun 2016
  • Status: Complete
An African girl's first crush in America


2. Classmates?

He was my classmate! You all know what I mean, right? I will have to see him every day for a year. I don’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. It had to be bad because it meant I would get more interested in him but I think I was happy. I was happy because I got to know his name. I got to stare at him all I want. I got close to all my classmates except him. Why did I do that? Because I was scared he might disapprove of me. I don’t normally care what people think of me but I realized that the reason I stayed away from him was because I wanted to leave a good impression on him.

He spoke so well in class and seemed to be getting along with everybody, everybody except me obviously. He doesn’t speak to me, sometimes I wonder if he even knows my name? do I look dumb to him? To be honest, I think I do. I hope he doesn’t notice how much I stare at him in class. I now knew where he came from, but I was not satisfied. I want to know more. If you ask me what more I want to know exactly, I don’t think I know the answer to that.

I got to discover that he wasn’t exactly a perfect kid. He is just like every teenage boy out here. Talks a lot, makes a lot of boring jokes and also does what every boy his age would do. But anytime he stared at me or walked towards me, my heart always jilted. I looked in the mirror before going to class one day and I asked myself “what is wrong with you puku?” and I answered myself “you like him but you need to stop. Nothing good ever comes out of these sort of things.” But I already knew that I can’t stop just because I want to. It never works that way. Time does the stopping not you, but then time is so slow and it takes a very long while. I called myself a fool every morning before I went to class because that’s how I really felt. Looking at someone who never looks back. Admiring someone who probably does not admire you and liking someone who might never like you back. At that moment, I always asked myself, why should he? After all, I am just a black plain ordinary girl.

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