how can you hold onto someone when they're not even reaching.


7. 7

The next two weeks were hell. I lost everyone I had. Luke, Michael, Addy. My mom was a mess and my dad hadn't contacted us since he left. I felt like I was losing everyone. And it was my fault.

It was now Friday and I sat at the lab counter next to Luke. I would awkwardly try to discuss the project with him but he kept rolling his eyes.

"Luke, I know you're pissed and you hate m-"

"I don't hate you." He angrily cut me off. He looked at me with his once bright ocean blue eyes that were now dull and gray. The pink color in his cheeks had drained and was replaced with pale skin. Dark purple circles claimed their spot under his eyes. He looked ill and unhappy.

"Thats beside the point. We need to work on this project a-and communicate. Please, just this once." He turned his head away and nodded once I finished.

"You going to Kyles party tonight?" He randomly asked, breaking the silence. I shrugged in response.


"You should. It'll be fun." That's what they always say.


I sat on my bed, biting my nails. Parties gave me anxiety. Sweaty bodies with red solo cups in their hands and joints in their mouths. Dancing and grinding on each other before stumbling upstairs and having sloppy sex they'll most likely regret the next day.

But fuck it. Im a teenager and I need to experience a few parties. Even though at the last one I ended up getting my heart broken, maybe this one could be better.

I pulled on my black skinny jeans, my entire room filled with clothes I had thrown out of my closet. I searched through my shirts before finally deciding on a white, lace off the shoulder top. I looked in the mirror, sucking in the little bit of tummy I had and shrugging, assuming it was good enough. I walked downstairs and pulled on my black high tops.

"Where are you going, sweetie?" My mom asked, startling me.

"Oh, uh, a party?" I said more as a question than a statement.

"Alright. Have fun, love you." She smiled and walked back into the kitchen. I closed my eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. I walked out and started up my moms car.


I arrived at Kyles house and stepped out of the car.

"Rory?" I heard his voice from behind me and immediately tensed up.

"Uh hi Michael." He smiled at me and waved, coming closer.

"How are you?"

"Im alright. A little nervous for the party though."

"Dont worry about it. Once you get a drink or two in you, you'll be fine." He smirked and I awkwardly smiled back. I wasnt planning on drinking.

I walked inside with Michael next to me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards a table, filled with booze. He poured us both a shot of tequila and downed it. I finished it in two sips and immediately stuck a lime in my mouth, puckering my lips. Michael laughed and patted me on the back. He poured another one but I shook my head.

"Just one more. For me?" He knew how to persuade me. I wish he didnt. I nodded and took the shot, my face scrunching in disgust once again. He laughed before walking away.


After an hour or so at the party, I noticed a large group of people just sitting in the backyard. I went through the screen door and joined them.

I wish I didnt.

They all sat around in small bunches, each passing blunts around.

"Rory! Come on, take a hit." Kyle yelled to me. I sat down awkwardly and uncomfortably smiled. He passed me the blunt. I wrapped my lips around it and lightly inhaled. I held the smoke in my mouth before exhaling. I coughed viciously, causing Kyle to laugh at me.

"First time?" He asked. I nodded.

"That obvious?" I laughed along. They kept passing the blunt around and I kept taking hits. I felt careless. Like I had no worries at all. Like I wasnt losing everyone in my life. I felt happy.

"Rory, what the hell are you doing?" Michael sternly said, grabbing it out of my hand.

"What the hell are you doing? Give me that back."

"Rory, do you know how bad this is for you?"

"Says the one shoving shots down my throat. Besides, its not like Im snorting cocaine or shooting up heroin. Im not your girlfriend and Im not your problem. So stop acting like I am." I grabbed the blunt back and took another hit. He walked away, his head hung low.

"Hey." I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I looked over to Kyle, his hand held out. I grabbed it and he pulled me up. "Youre really hot, you know that?" He shot me a drunken smirk as he spoke. He slurred his words and stumbled towards me. He put his hands on the small of my back, slowly making his way down to my ass. "Ive had a big crush on you for a while."

"Oh really?" I smiled at him, my drunk and high state taking over me. He pulled me closer to him before placing his hand on my cheek and leaning down. His lips locked with mine, them moving in sync. He pulled me over to the edge of the yard and lightly pushed me up against the fence, not letting his lips leave mine. His hands traveled from my neck down, sending shivers through my whole body. He brought my body closer to his, closing the space between us. I felt something. I felt more than I did when I kissed Michael. But I didn't feel more than what I felt when I was with Luke.

I missed the way he said my name. I missed the way he made me laugh. I missed the feeling I got when he told me how much I meant to him. I missed him missing me when I wasnt around to make him smile.

"Lets go upstairs?" Kyle interrupted my thoughts. I shook my head and stepped away.

"Sorry, I should probably get going. I had a good time though." I said, walking away from him. He grabbed my wrist and turned me around.

"But we were just getting started." He smirked and tried kissing me again. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"Really, Kyle. Im not looking for a one night stand and I seriously should get going."

"You cant drive drunk." Shit, he had a point.

"Well, I'm not having sex with you." I sternly stated.

"Who said you had a choice?" He tightly grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the backdoor. I tried to loosen my grip but that only made him tighten it. Everyone around us was too high or drunk to realize what was happening. We got inside, heading for the stairs, when I heard his voice.

"Kyle, dude, what the fuck?" Luke yelled, jogging towards Kyle and I.

"None of your business, Hemmings. Shes not your girlfriend anymore." He pulled me along.

"Shes not yours either." He looked down to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Rory, do you want this?" I shook my head vigorously. Tears welled up in my eyes in fear that Luke wouldn't be able to save me.

"I told you. You dont have a fucking choice. Come on." He pulled my arm harder but Luke was refusing to give up the fight. He walked over to face Kyle. He lifted his fist and brought it down to meet Kyles jaw. He let go of my wrist to free his hands. He returned the punch but to Lukes gut instead.

"Rory, run!" Luke yelled to me. I couldnt leave him there. I looked down to the ground and picked up an empty beer bottle. I smashed it over Kyles head, causing him to stumble backwards. I grabbed Lukes hand and pulled him away and to the door.

"You didnt have to do that." He said, his lip bleeding as Kyle had punched him in the face too.

"I couldnt leave you like that." He smiled down at me.

"Thank you."

"Thank you for getting him away from me." We walked outside before I realized I couldnt drive in my state.

"I didnt drink. I'll drive you home." We got into my moms car as my head throbbed. I rested my head on the window, closing my eyes. I felt Luke put his hand on mine, interlocking our fingers. I looked over to him and smiled.

"Are you still mad?" I asked, looking at the city lights on the horizon.

"No. It was my fault in the first place and I didnt want to admit it. I didnt want to admit that I lost you and it was my fault. You meant a lot to me and I fucked up and lost you. Thats what upset me. And I knew trying to get you back wasnt gonna work because I messed up everything. So if anyone has to apologize, its me. So, I'm sorry." I squeezed his hand and leaned over to kiss his cheek. He turned the volume nob up, blasting All Time Low. We both sang along, smiling and just appreciating being in each others presence. We looked at each other, time seeming to slow down.

I took time to take in his features. His eyes became bright again, beaming through the dark of the night. The color in his cheeks had returned, a more blush red now. His lips were pink and curled into a grin. His hair was slightly matted down from the heat and humidity of the night. He was so handsome.

Bright headlights interrupted my thoughts as they came closer. Around a sharp corner came a large pickup truck, hurling itself at us at 60 miles per hour. They fishtailed about the narrow road as they were most likely drunk. They swerved into the drivers side of my moms car, pushing us through the guardrail and down a large hill that was next to the road. The windows shattered, sending thousands of shards of glass throughout the car. I felt my head go forwards, subsequently feeling a pain in my head before everything went black.


Authors Note:

Sorry I havent posted in forever. I got really bad writers block and couldnt word things right for some reason. Anyway, sorry for such a depressing chapter lmao.


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