Sometimes, things are meant to be.

And sometimes they're not.

Unfortunately, the difference isn't always clear. And accepting that things aren't meant to be can be difficult. Sometimes, it's nearly impossible.

ob·ses·sion: /əbˈseSHən/
*the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
*a ruling/consuming passion.
"He cared for her with a devotion bordering on obsession."


5. Ch 4 - Going All Out

After that experience, we knew we'd never be happy if we didn't go to one (or four) of the Rock Out With Your Socks Out shows. It was their first headlining tour, and how could we call ourselves fans if we didn't go?

The problem was that we'd missed out on tickets because our infatuation didn't start until after all the shows were sold out. So we were forced to buy our tickets from resell sites, which was crazy expensive. But we'd sold our souls to this group and no longer gave any shits about it. We settled on the two shows in Chicago, plus the last two shows of the tour in Tampa and West Palm Beach. We'd always thought it would be fun to go to the last show of a tour, because they looked like they were so carefree, fun, and full of energy. So we were finally making it happen.

We splurged on first row for the first Chicago show, and second row for the second night. Then for Tampa, sixth row, and third row for West Palm Beach. Yes, we went completely overboard. But YOLO.

However, Traci wasn't satisfied with those sixth row seats. She eventually bought front row for Tampa without telling me, and refused to let me help pay for them. I swear to God I don't deserve her friendship sometimes. And instead of reselling the sixth row seats to make some money back, she insisted we give them away on the day of the show to two random girls who had lawn tickets. We were both so excited about that. Can you imagine being way back there in the lawn section, and someone walking up and handing you sixth row seats? We couldn't wait to see their reactions.

It seemed like an eternity passed before our first ROWYSO date of the summer. Traci and I hadn't seen each other since the Jingle Bash trip. That was the longest we'd ever gone without going to a concert together. We decided to celebrate our reunion with a little pre-concert shopping. Our store of choice? Forever 21, of course.

"Just a warning: I'm going all out."

I chuckled at Traci's warning. "What exactly does that mean, 'going all out'?"

"It means I'm going for the gold, my friend. If we try to 'run into' the guys outside of the concert, I'm wearing something to get Calum's attention."

"Well, you go girl. Not all of us are so fortune to have perfect ass and boobs," I said, as I held up a simple black mini dress and turned to see my nonexistent flat behind in the mirror lining the wall. "Let's just hope we somehow get the chance to see them outside of the concert."

"You won't be embarrassed of me?" She actually covered her face, embarrassed of herself for asking.

"Hell no. I'd show my assets off, too, if I had any. Damn pregnancies destroyed everything I had. What do you think of this?" I asked about the dress.

"First of all, you have a rocking body. Especially to have had children. And the dress is fine. But basic, ya know? Everyone wears a little black dress. We want to stand out, right? I thought that green halter dress suited you better. The color looks amazing with your red hair." Oh, yeah. I thought I might be more attractive if I had a better hair color, so I dyed it this vibrant red shade. I actually loved it and thought it made my sickly pale complexion look better.

I agreed with her suggestion and went back went back and got the green dress to add to a bunch of other clothes I'd probably wear once or not at all.

An hour and $200 later, we were back at the hotel. I was flipping through the channels on the TV and heard Traci groan. I looked over at her and saw that she was lying on her bed with her hands in her hair like she was getting ready to pull it out. I said, "I'm sorry. Did you want to watch that?"

She rolled over onto her stomach and faced me, putting her chin in her hands. "Why do I have to love that fucking band so damn much? What did I do to deserve this misery? Like, why did I just spend a shit ton of money on clothes that Calum will never see me in? It's so stupid. I hate myself. And I hate that band."

I smiled sadly and sighed. "You do realize that you said you loved them and hated them in the same breath, right? But I know what you mean, my friend. Hey, at least we're realistic about it. I mean, yeah, we're going to put forth our best effort to meet them. But we know that if, by some miracle, it happens, they're hardly even going to glance at us. We're not the type they go for. But that's what makes us different, in a good way, in my opinion. To hell with them. It's their loss. Yeah, it's fun to pretend or whatever. But we're not delusional. As long as we keep thinking realistically, it's all good. Let's just make this weekend about us having fun and not dwell on things that we have no control over, okay?"

Traci smiled and said, "That's why I love you. You always see the positive in everything. I know we're going to have a blast no matter what. I just wish I wasn't so emotionally involved. It's so dumb."

"Yeah, it is. But you know what? We're in this together. What would I do without you? You're the only person in the world that gets me. Everyone else just thinks I'm obsessed because I go to so many concerts. They don't understand that it's more than liking some band members. It's about the music, the experience, and having fun with my best friend."

"I feel exactly the same. Can you imagine how boring our lives would be without each other? I can't even remember what it was like before we met."

"Oh my gosh, I don't even want to think about it. I'd be in a perpetual state of adulting if we weren't friends. How awful would that be? No, thanks. People can tease me all they want. I just laugh at them because they have no idea what they're missing out on."

Traci held up her hand and I reached over to gave her a high-five as she said, "Right? They're just jealous anyway, living their boring adult lives and we're living it up every chance we get."

"Exactly. I mean, I'm a damn good mom, and take care of my responsibilities. And I'm also good at my job. But dammit, what's the point in life if you don't get out there and live it up when you can, ya know? I realize concerts and fangirling isn't everyone's 'thing,' but it's mine, and by God, I'm enjoying it. And the haters can just suck it."

"Amen, sister. Good one." She then proceeded to tweet:

Quote of the day: "The haters can just suck it." - @CliffordsCougar

We'd had similar conversations many times before. We just needed a little reassurance from each other now and then that we weren't crazy for having feelings about guys who would never know we existed. We really were very realistic about the whole thing. But let's be honest here. We've all fantasized about getting the attention of our fave (or any of them really) and it leading to more than a quick "hello."

The rest of our night was spent trying to find a way to put all of our new clothes in our carry on luggage and getting ready for our super early flight the next morning. We torture ourselves with 5:30 a.m. flights for some reason. It always sounds good at the time. Yeah, we'll get there early and do some fun stuff, we won't be rushed, etc., But we always end up wishing we'd chosen a later departure time. We tried going to bed at a decent hour so we wouldn't be so tired the next day. Yeah, that didn't happen.

We got settled in our beds, turned off the lights, and said goodnight. Two hours later we were still wide awake, too anxious about the next two days to sleep.

"Fuck this," Traci said, sitting up and throwing her phone onto the bed. "I'm hungry. How about you?"

"You know I am."

Next thing I knew, we were going through Taco Bell's drive-thru at midnight. A 7 layer burrito never tasted so good.

After our bellies were satisfied, we tried the whole sleep thing again. And this time our bodies finally surrendered. In the end, we got a whole three hours of sleep. But we'd be running on adrenaline the next couple of days, so it didn't really matter.

A/N: Yes, I used my actual Twitter handle because I was too lazy to make one up and check that no one is using it. I ain't got time for that. Plus, the name definitely fits the character. If you wanna hit me up and tell me your thoughts, I'd actually really love to hear them. I love reading your comments both on here and Twitter. And if you really like it, a vote would mean the world to me. Xx

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