When I wake up in the night

In this book, we follow a young girl, who doesn't have the best life. She doubt the love she recieve, and can't remember the last time she was happy. Of course she remembers when she was little, but she doubts she was really happy. She has a perfect life, if you ask everyone els. A loving mom and dad, two little sisters, which she cares about. She has friends and doesn't get bullied, but she can't seem to be happy.

WARNING. If you have a depression, you should not read this.


1. My story

My story

Befor I start anything, I want to tell you a little about myself. I'm 16 years at the moment, but I will start my story, when I was 14, and so we go on to present time. I am not going to tell you my name, or any of my families for that matter. I'm 5 ft 9 in, have brown hair, grey-green eyes, glasses and not the most muscular body.

I have two little sister. The oldest is 14 now (but she turns 15 in october) and the youngest is 8(she turns 9 in december). I love them both very much, and would hate to see them feel the same way that I feel. I might say, at some time, that I hate them, but I don't know what I would do, if they weren't here.

As for my parents, I love them both as well. They have been married for about 19 years, and you can see they love each other. The only time that I hate them is, when they disturb, when I either read or am waching anime. Yes I wacht anime and love it very much. And it's not just for children, I can mention more then 10 animes that is not for children.

My childhood, was normal. I went to school (loved it), had many friends and was good in school. I moved when I went in forth grade. It was hard in the begining. I was bullied, but got that under control by myself. Transfered school again in seventh grade, but nothing els there. 

My favourite season is winter, favourite hollyday is halloween. I love waching anime, reading, writng, singing and drawing. I don't have a favourite song, there is simply too many good songs. I hate romantic and comedy movies. If I should choose a favourite colour, it would be black or pink. Animal, don't have any, or any favourites. I like being alone. 

You wouldn't think I feel the way I feel, but I do. I don't know why, and it is literally killing me. I cut and have attempted suicid more then once, but you are going to hear more about that later. I don't belive, when people, not even my family, tells my they love and care about me. I belive everyone will be better without me, and don't care about my wellbeing.

I need help, and am getting it, but it doesn't work. I'm just waiting for the day when I actually kill myself.

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