The ex-boyfriend project

My ex-boyfriend. We hate each other but also love one another. It’s hard to explain all on how and what went on but I have tried to explain most of it. We are sour in a relationship but amazing together when we aren't bounded by boundaries of a relationship. So this is a project on how to be friends with your ex-boyfriend.


1. Is it okay

Is okay to be friends with Your ex?

Some people say girls and guys being friend’s guys is bad. Even more if one of yours are in a relationship. But some girls are like me and just get along with guys easier. I mostly have guy friends. It’s actually a lot better than being friends with girls. Most guys get over drama and issues a lot quicker than girls. Girls tend to hold a grudge against other girls or even guys. You can be girly with guys and can also talk a lot more with them. But mostly it’s harder when you had feelings for your guy/girlfriend, it can make your friendship awkward. Or you just forget it and laugh about it in the end.


The big question is, can you be friends with and ex. Me personally couldn't be friends with my ex until now. Because it’s like that’s the past and you could have had the best relationship and then something bad happened and that’s why it ended. Normally I would just leave them and wouldn't ever talk to them again. But somehow that’s changing.......

Joshua is my ex. We had so many complications it was a really sour relationship. But that’s the thing we learnt more about each other when we haven’t been together, then when we were together. We talk more and more open about a lot of things. We have a really weird friendship, we sit there, try and put down rules, lines, boundaries. But never ends up working. I don’t know why but always one of us breaks it. But we are getting better. We aren't having sex any more we are just kissing, cuddling, all the simple stuff. We should probably stop, but we never do. We broke up because we just didn't work. But we are the happiest people when were aren't together. He can actually compliment me and treats me better like this. It’s probably the best choice we ever made for the both of our lives.


I care to much to let it go. Even though the feelings aren't there is still him. I can’t shake the feeling of him not being around me. Even though he treats me pretty bad, he still understands most things. Even if he is sick or healthy I would still be by his side. It may sound ridiculous but he still him and I can’t escape the feeling of us. I love him but I hate him at the same time it’s crazy. He just simply amazing. I don’t know why I see him the way I do but I do and that’s that.



His family hates my guts, yet haven’t even meet me. I don’t get what’s there not to like. I get I fucked up the first time with Josh. Kissing Jordy wasn't my brightest moment but I regret it so much that I suffered a hole month and half without Josh. With him hating me and me hating myself. I felt worthless. I was sleeping around getting drunk and letting all guys come on to me. It was horrid. I only got told a few bits on how Josh felt and dealt with it. But that’s wasn't enough I want to make sure he was feeling like I was. So I flirted with his brother and got with the one person he hates the most. Do I wish I didn't? Yes.

We got back together the week after new year’s. And it was great. I told him what I did in the month we broke up but he hardly told me what happened to him. Until he told me. He was going out his daily life as he would. Yes, he was upset and down but he would let it show. Yes, we aren't together now. I moved on and tried to settle for one guy so that I didn't have to go on like I was the first time we broke up. But he doing what I did best, throwing he self around. He would sleep with a random if he could. And how do I feel about that, pretty fucking shitty. I shouldn't care if he did or not but I do. I'm simply still getting jealous over others getting with him. He doesn't tell me how he felt about Sam or when I told him I got with him. I know he was pretty gut wrecked when I got with Scott after we broke up, but he seems to show no feelings what so ever now. I don’t know what it is. Maybe he just doesn't care or feel any more. It hurts to feel like this. 

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