hurt ✢ // joshler

❝ Little secrets hurt more than you can ever imagine . ❞

©trashydun 2015


2. Mocha

Debby and Josh are still a thing in this book *


T y l e r -

I keep noticing that Josh would not stop looking at me. It's like he is curious about something, yet I'm not sure of what.

As spoken, we now sat in a Chipotle table, everyone else stuffing their  faces while I just took small bites of my burrito. Personally I didn't even want to eat now. I felt too stressed and having Josh sitting across from me felt like I was in hell.

" You haven't really touched your burrito, Tyler. Is everything okay ? "

I nodded and smiled towards Jenna, reassuring her that I was perfectly fine.

I forced another bite of burrito down my throat and wrapped it in the aluminum again  not wanting to deal with food until I get hungry and I'm not sitting, standing, or even anywhere close to Josh.

Debby's familiar pale hair caught my attention as she made her way towards the table that we sat in, her beautiful, big brown eyes shining as she ducked down and crashed her lips on Josh's.

I quickly looked away as it got heated and digged my nails across my wrist, not even stopping at the horrible pain that made me start to see slight black dots on my vision.

I pushed my chair back and took off towards the bathroom.

Why do I keep feeling like this ? Why can't all this stop ? When can all this stop ?

"He does not love you.
You are too silly to notice that Tyler."

I shook my head , not wanting to believe blurry. He had to love me, right ? Or have some type of feelings for me. Anything!

"Silly boy you are so stupid .no wonder no one likes you not even your wife jenna . she thinks you are too crazy ,then again I do not blame her she is right."

No! no.. Jenna Would not do that to me... she wouldn't pretend to love me, or support me. Josh too...would he be pretending to love me, and actually be hating me too?

I have to get out of here, I need to breath, to understand myself.

I stumbled out of the bathroom, and out of the back door, not looking back. What was the point after all ? I feel like I'm worthless compared to all of them They are always happy and In love. And then there's Debby and Josh who just aren't helping my case at all.

I inhaled the chilly, end of the summmer air, sighing as I glanced up at the sky. It seemed to be about six or six thirty. That's when the sky turns the shades of purple, blue, and a soft, relaxing orange with a hint of pink.

I glanced at my ringing phone and noticed the name Debby flashing. I stopped it from vibrating and stuffed it back in my front pocket.

Everyone around me seemed so happy and that made me even more sad. Love was clearly something that I saw a lot around me. I also saw some teens that looked like they were going to do something never before done. I wish I felt like that.

I glared at my phone again ignored the call Again and sighed, just plain angry now. Next person that calls, I will cuss at them like crazy. I don't think they under stand that I'm TRYING to be alone, drama free.

I screamed out in anger again as I felt my phone vibrating. UNKNOWN. 
Even the unknown number won't stop.fucking.calling !

" Who the fuck is this, goddamn it ! I don't want any more fucking calls ! Now leave me the fuck alone ! "

breathing heavy , my anger just full on burst mode , waiting for the other person to answer .

" T-tyler ?...uh-w-we're worried about where are you ? "

I closed my eyes relizing my mistake. I screamed at Josh and I didn't even know.

" I'm fine. Just leave me alone please. I'll make my way home alone. Listen..I have to go.. "

I pulled the phone away from my ear and heard screaming from the other line as I hung up. I winced as I remembered that I screamed at Josh and groaned, pulling on my sweater's  hem.

suddenly, I was pushed harshly to the ground. The person and I both groaned, then turned to each other.

" Sorry about that, man. You okay ? I'm Pete . "

I nodded and pulled on my sweater hem harder.

" T-tyler. Sorry about running into you. I am seriously so out of it today. You know? Sunday's are always suicide days .. "

Pete nodded his head and helped me up.

" there's this party some of my friends are having and You look like you need something strong in your system. Want to hang out with us? I promise that We won't hurt you. My boyfriend will be there too , so it's okay . " 

I hesitated, but still nodded my head. I did need all this after all ..

Pete smiled and motioned to his car. 

Hello :)

Chapter two is finally up ! Please comment and let me know how this book is going so far , I always love to know if my books need anything , or if It's too boring for you guys !

Stay alive and fierce loves ! 


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