Mother's Love

Excessive mother's love is a drama that occurs often in life but is little covered...


1. Introduction

I rode in an underground carriage after seeing a widely popular performance about mother’s love – to be precise, the lack of it. This issue – when a mother drops her child – is widely explored. Yes, we do come across this drama in life, but this trouble is not the worst; another drama that occurs much more often and therefore is less noticeable: when mother’s love manifests excessively. This very drama brings people the biggest problems, but is little covered. This was precisely my thoughts in the carriage.

Late evening, few people. I had a heavy heart after the performance because the subject was not truly developed despite the fact that the play had been written by a classic and staged for more than a hundred years. Then an idea of an alternative play started to form in my mind. A bare idea, without any plans for its realization. Firstly, I never considered dramaturgy my field. Secondly, being busy with other matters did not let me go deep in it. Although I immediately felt confident that I could write such a play, because I was well acquainted with the subject, and from the other, much more tragic and scaled side.

Suddenly a woman entered at a stop, similar as two drops of water to my old patient! Dressed in the same black clothes as when she was taken to me long ago. That woman had lost her son and was living for two years already absorbed by her grief. She could not see happy faces – how can people smile when her son has died! It was a complicated case – nobody could take her out of that state, and I had only two hours before her flying away. I managed to return her to life because I understood the main cause of the tragedy and could convey it to the woman. I remembered this case for my whole life.

And so she appeared again in an underground carriage to tell me that the subject was alive and important, and that I needed to develop it and convey to the people. Of course, it was a different woman, but she looked very much alike. This kind of World’s creativity does not surprise me for quite a while already. It was an open hint to me, and I got to work. This is how the chapter “Mother’s love” was written for “Living Thoughts”.

Several years passed, and all this time the topic made itself felt. Examples accumulated, I studied the matter deeper, and when I was getting ready to write a new book for the “World in Me” series, some more signs came that left no doubt about what to write. In general, examples of excessive mother’s love are frequent. One come across them literally every day. It is a truly mass phenomenon, and after reading this book, you will see in greater depth what is happening and will be able to discern this problem from all sides.

The day I was leaving for a “creative business trip” to the town of Osery, a letter came from the city of S. in which a woman told about the death of her 12-year-old son. The letter was pervaded with her grief, and from the letter, I learned that they had parted with the boy’s father five years before, because he had started “to abuse alcohol”. I could see her enormous love for her son and great unity with him. She used “we” in all cases: “we were treated”, “we did so” etc. A usual picture of excessive mother’s love was present that lead to the tragedy.

That letter was the last drop, but before it, I got a sign of different kind. The First International Congress of Mothers was held in Moscow. It was in the Cathedral Hall of the Temple of Christ the Savior. Everything was solid: a posh hall, foreign delegations, representative guests, serious speeches, and the high status of the forum. I received an invitation to speak at this forum, and I decided to state the subject: “Mother’s love – the other side of the medal”. As I expected, all speakers dwelled only on one side of mother’s love, the great role of a mother, and nobody spoke about the role of a woman, a man, or a couple. As if life itself is in motherhood and it exists on its own, without the unity of man and woman, without their love. Even an orthodox priest said in his speech: “Where are men?”

The professor of psychology who was host, started to move my speech gradually because she knew my topic and, as I understood later, disagreed with it. I noticed it and let know about myself. Finally, she gave me the tribune with the preface: “I will give floor to a man with whom you are most likely to disagree, but please be patient and listen”. There is no bad without good. With such a preface, she only aroused interest to my speech and awoke the sleepy audience.

Surprisingly, my words about the enormous harm of excessive mother’s love, and that in the system of values the first place should be given to love between parents and not to the child, found understanding and positive reaction of the majority! This made me glad, but the host did not surrender. She put to vote (unusual case!) the main postulates of my speech, and found herself in the minority – only she and her assistant out of the one thousand and a half audience voted against them!

I received a confirmation that my studies were going in the right direction, that in the deep of their consciousness many understand the other side of mother’s love and I only needed to put it into practice. This is how this book was born.

The subject of excessive mother’s love is global, manifesting stronger in one nations and weaker in the others, but it is present everywhere and causes various problems worldwide: from small family disorders and divorces to the death of children to complex social problems and wars – this is the spectrum of situations caused by excessive mother’s love.

Do not hurry to deny! Read, think, watch life, and you will probably agree with me and find many confirmations of my thoughts. This will turn your world, and you will become wiser. And, most importantly, if you do not deny and approach the subject creatively, you will be able to achieve many positive changes in your life and the lives of your children.

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