Remember.

Dear Sister,

There's a lot we haven't said in these years that we haven't spoken. How are you, in these years we haven talked? Do you think about all the times we had, as I often do? Are there instances where you wish I was there to get through live, as much as I do?

Do you even remember?

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4. Yesterday

I remember it like it was yesterday.

 

The first day was a Sunday, I was on the road home when I first felt it. I remember thinking if you wished you had friends in your class as much as I did. I remember your class as I had entered so very often. That popular bunch from our previous school. I knew you'd fit in. They were that bunch of kids you'd always wish you were friends with. Eventually you became one of their closest friends, one of them. I blocked you off my online messaging, I blocked you off my social media, I stopped all modes of interaction.

 

The second day started with me walking to class alone in the morning. You approached me on my way back to class, asking me why I didn’t reply you the previous day. I didn't answer, but the guilt was just slowly eating me. I ran. I was stupid and I ran. I was avoiding but now I know, that was probably the worst thing to do. I remember your confused look. I can imagine how you were feeling, someone, probably the only person you were close to in this new environment, suddenly ignoring you. I must have sucked. Scratch that, it sucked. From what you told me after that, I'd understand why you acted that way.

 

But there's times where I simply cant handle all my worries alone. Then there's this urge where I'd just want to talk to you, ask you how's your day, how you’ve been. But no, I know you probably wouldn’t reply me. I'd still wish we could talk like friends now. Then there was International Sibling Day. The particular day where your Instagram feed gets flooded with sappy post with photos of friends with siblings. I did post a photo of us, asking if we could make up. I knew you would see it but I still waited. One day, I hope we could be friends again. 

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